Page 50 of In the Stars

“I tried to tell him we had shit weknewwouldn’t fuck us up too bad. But Vic said he’d always wanted to try it, said he heard it was the ultimate high. I put my foot down, told him that no, we didn’t need that shit. He agreed, and we finished our lines of cocaine.”

Wesley looks up at the sky, silent tears tracking his cheeks. I place a hand on his and he jumps but doesn’t pull away. “You don’t have to continue.”

“No, I need to get it out.” He pulls in a deep breath as if gathering his courage and says, “After our high mostly wore off, I dragged myself to our little mattress on the floor and threw myself down on it. I was asleep within minutes. But Vic…stayed awake. He cooked up the heroin, and he shot it into his veins. I was so fucked up that I didn’t hear him struggle or when he hit the floor when he overdosed. I only woke up when the door opened and there was screaming in the room. Mitch and Kas found him on the floor, vomit down his front and covering his face. His eyes were peeled wide open, and the needle was still stuck in his arm.”

“Fuck, Wesley. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.” I pull him in for a hug, and he clings to me, his tears spilling down my neck.

“I shouldn’t have let him keep that shit. I knew Vic. He was always doing shit he said he wouldn’t do. But I thought he wouldn’t fuck around with something we’d never tried before. If I had taken it from him, he’d still be alive. He’d still be…” His sobs wrack his body. “He was my best friend, Jax. I should have helped him.”

“Shhh,” I say, rubbing at the hair at the nape of his neck. “You can’t blame yourself for that. You can’t.”

He nods. “I know. But it’s so hard.” He pulls back and scrubs his face. “That’s the reason I never tried heroin. Besides my mom being a fucking addict for longer than I could remember, what happened to Vic scared the shit out of me. I might have been slowly killing myself, but I was afraid to die. I didn’t want someone to find my body, looking scared and covered in puke.” He blows out a breath. “I’m so fucking weak, something that happened so long ago still affecting me like this.”

“Hey,” I say fiercely, gripping the back of his neck tightly. Wesley looks up at me with wide eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with mourning your friend.Nothing. We all have regrets about things we wished we could change, but that doesn’t make you weak. You hear me? You’renotweak. You’re the strongest man I know.”

He huffs a laugh devoid of any levity. “If I was, I would have been able to get out of the shitty situation I was in with Perry. So glad that fucker is dead.”

Perry killed himself after he was sentenced to seventy-five years in prison for the sexual assault of a minor, promoting prostitution and drug charges. He already had a target on his back because of his sex offense, so rather than face inmates shanking him in the shower, he hung himself with bedsheets before he was transferred to the maximum-security prison. My dad wasn’t happy when he found out he took himself out instead of facing his years behind bars, wanting him to pay for his crimes against Wesley.

I slide closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder. Wesley wraps his arms around me, and I thread mine around his waist. “It’s okay. We helped. I wish I had sooner.”

“Thank you.” He kisses the top of my head, and goose bumps break across my body. “I never figured out how the cops knew to come over. The neighbors never gave a fuck about all the noise and shit. Not sure why they decided that night was the time to call, but I’m grateful.”

My face heats. “That was me and my parents. We went to the police station right after you left. I had to beg Mom to let me go with them. I told them what I saw, the bruises and stuff. With my dad being an attorney, they took his complaint and went to check on you immediately.”

He’s quiet then asks, “When did you take the pictures?”

“I waited for you to fall asleep. Dad said it helped your case.”

Wesley untangles his arms from around me and lifts my head, cupping my cheeks. “You really did try to save me?”

“I did.”

His face grows soft. “You did what was right as opposed to what I asked you to do.” One of his thumbs strokes my cheek, and I close my eyes and shudder, loving how warm and soft his hands feel on my face. “You’re amazing.”

When I open my eyes, I catch Wesley’s gaze darting to my lips, then back to my eyes. “What?” I ask, butterflies dancing in my belly.

In a low voice, he says, “I never stopped loving you.”

I gasp, and my mouth runs dry.

“I wish I had done things differently with you.”

Taking a leap, I say, “You can start right now.”

His eyes heat, and he looks down at my lips again, licking his own. He leans in slowly, giving me time to pull away, but I wouldn’t dream of it.

The gentle press of his lips warms me, taking my breath away. Slowly, he opens me up, exploring my mouth. I whimper against him, holding on to his wrists so I don’t fly away.

All too soon, the kiss is over, and Wesley presses his forehead against mine. “I should have done that a lot sooner,” he whispers.

A smile stretches my lips. “Better late than never, right?”

“Right.” He kisses my forehead. “Now give me some of those grapes. I’m gonna pass out from that strenuous hike if you don’t feed me.”

A light giggle bursts from me. “Yeah, I’m sure the slight incline and our glacial pace was strenuous.” Still, I move away and hand him the container with the grapes.

“Bring me back here again?” he asks, searching over the horizon at the sun shining bright.

---