Page 58 of Man Advantage

“Maybe? I’m just trying to stay away from him as much as I can. I really just need to learn to ignore him. This is… I don’t know. It’s just childish, being this fucked up over someone acting like an asshole.”

I wanted to tell him that wasn’t true at all. That he shouldn’t have to just knuckle through one of his teammates being a jerk. It wasn’t childish to be pissed off that a coworker was creating a hostile work environment.

I got it, though. Even if it was perfectly justified, itfeltchildish. Been there, done that, in the time between my breakup and when Daniel had gotten me fired.

I wished more than anything I could hug Trev right now. Being this far away when he was this out of sorts—that was frustrating.

Before I could say anything, Trev pressed back against the headboard and swallowed. “I think I’d be a lot less fucked up over this if I wasn’t also struggling with being away from the kids.”

Oh.Oh.Yeah. That would throw someone off the rails.

“I bet that’s hard,” I said, because I didn’t know what else to say. “They’re looking forward to you being home, though.”

His smile wasn’t even close to halfhearted. “They’ll be at Bryan’s when I get back.”

My heart sank. “They will? Oh. Right. Yeah, they will.”

Frowning, he nodded. “And they’ll come back to my house just in time for me to go on another road trip.”

“Jesus. Bryan won’t let you adjust the custody agreement at all? Not even with this many road trips on top of each other?”

“Not without going back to court,” he muttered. “And if we do that, I suspect he’s going to try to angle for full custody.”

“Do you think he’d get it?”

“Don’t know.” Trev looked right at me. “But I don’t want to take the chance and find out.”

“Oh. Yeah, I can understand that. At least it’s only for half the year. Once the season’s over, you’ll be home.”

“That’s true. I just hope they can wait that long. Like they don’t start thinking I’m?—”

“They don’t,” I said gently. “Trust me.”

His eyes begged me to mean that.

“They don’t,” I repeated. “They’ll be thrilled when you get home. I promise.”

At that, he grimaced. “It shouldn’t be a novelty. Their dad being home. It’s… I always felt guilty leaving them when I was on the road, but I feel even worse about it now. Not… Not because I have any issue with you. You’re great with them and they adore you. But… I don’t know. It’s like these road trips where they’re home with you—it feels like I’m even more of a failure. Or worse of a dad. Or… I don’t know.” His shoulders sagged and his voice wavered a little. “I used to leave them at home with their other dad. Now I take them away from BryanandI leave them, and it’s…” He trailed off again, sighing heavily.

“It makes you feel like you’re not there enough,” I whispered.

“I’mnotthere enough. And I mean it—it has nothing to do with you. You’ve been great for them, and you’ve been a lifesaverfor me. But what kind of dad only gets his kids half the time, and then he’s gone for half ofthattime?”

“A dad with a really demanding career and a cockweasel for an ex-husband, so you’re doing the best you can to play a shitty hand?”

He managed a laugh at that. “Cockweasel, huh?”

I shrugged unrepentantly. “Am I wrong?”

“No. No, you’re not wrong.” His humor evaporated, and he stared at something off-camera with unfocused eyes. “Sometimes I feel like Bryan did this—the new custody arrangement, I mean—just to make the boys resent me.”

“How do you mean?” I tilted my head. “Do you think he’s trying to alienate them from you?”

“I mean… maybe?” Trev sighed. “But I worry he’s hoping that eventually they won’t want to come to my house anymore because I won’t be there anyway. And then maybe I’ll… I don’t know, give up joint custody? Or the boys will ask him to let them stay with him more? I…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Sometimes I think he would never be that vindictive. And then other times…”

I bit my tongue, because oh yeah, I could totally see Bryan being that vindictive.

“And then there’s the part where his boyfriend issuchan asshole.” Trev pressed his head back against the padded headboard. “I don’tthinkhe says anything in front of the kids—from what I’ve seen, he’s good with them. But then sometimes I worry he does and… I don’t know. But when it’s him and me? Or when we’re around the team?” He rolled his eyes. “Like dude, okay, I get it—you got Bryan. I lost him.” He waved a hand. “Whatever.”

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