Page 19 of Man Advantage

Trev snorted. “Hey. That’s not mistreatment. Fighting is part of hockey.”

“Like that guy you sucker-punched during the playoffs?”

He barked a real laugh. “I didn’t just punch him out of the blue.”

I arched an eyebrow.

He rolled his eyes. “He slashed our goalie.Afterthe whistle. Andthenlike three seconds later, he shoved our captain, who was still getting up after a dirty check.” Trev gestured with his beer. “If he didn’t want to get punched in the face, he shouldn’t have been acting like somebody who wanted to get his face punched.”

“Uh-huh. Whatever you say.”

He chuckled, and then he looked at me with a more serious expression. “You’re right, though. About the rest of it. We’re going to make mistakes with the boys.” Sighing, he pressed back against the couch. “I just hope the ones we make and the ones we’ve made…”

“I really think you’re fine.”

“Eh. We’ll see, I guess.”

We would. But I suspected I’d still hold on to my opinion just as firmly after I’d seen him with his kids. Trev had always been the kind of person to fall all over himself and worry thatsomeone was unhappy with him. It had actually been really cute, watching him with the boyfriend he’d had after me. The way he’d tied himself in knots, doing everything he could to keep that guy happy—it had been seriously adorable. The last month or so, when everyone but them had known a breakup was on the horizon, he’d been a mess. Not just crushed that his boyfriend was pulling away from him, but certain it was his fault somehow. That he hadn’t done enough or been enough.

Which meant he must’ve been a wreck during the drain-circling period of his marriage.

My heart sank, both at that realization, and the guilt that I hadn’t been in contact with him during that time. I had no idea if he’d have reached out to me, but at least I’d have been an option for him.

Out of the blue, Trev said, “You know what really sucks? I loved him. I still love him as my kids’ other dad.” He deflated. “But it’s really, really hard to imagine ever being in love with him. Even though I can clearly remember the years when I was.” He closed his eyes and gave a quiet, tired laugh. “God, that doesn’t even make sense.”

“No, it does.”

He looked at me. “It does?”

“Are you kidding? I loved Daniel at one time. I mean, he love-bombed the fuck out of me and got me under his thumb, but there were still good times, you know? Sometimes I can even think back on those memories and enjoy them because it’s like they happened with a completely different person.”

Trev’s eyes lost focus as he seemed to mull that over. “Yeah. Yeah, I get that, I think.” He sighed and shook himself. “Just hard to believe things can change that much.”

“I know what you mean.”

Our eyes locked, and my heart thumped. Yeah. Things really could change a lot, couldn’t they? The man who’d been my bestfriend through some of the most challenging years of my life—he was almost a stranger now. How we’d gone from being that close to not seeing each other for the better part of a decade was… I mean, I knew the sequence of events, but it was hard to wrap my mind around it all.

Apparently we were on the same page, too.

“Can I ask you about something?” Trev asked. “From the last few years? About…” He gestured at himself, then me.

My stomach tightened.Here we go. He was entitled to answers, though, and we were already prodding at some of his wounds, so why not?

Wordlessly, I nodded.

Trev hesitated, studying me uncertainly. “I tried to get back in touch a few times. Wanted to see you. But there was always…” He dropped his gaze and pressed his lips together, brow furrowed as if he were trying to find the right words.

I could read between the lines, though, and I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. “I wanted to. I really did.”

He looked at me through his lashes, the question unspoken but unmistakable.So why didn’t you?

I stared down at my hands. “I’m probably a coward, or a pushover, or—I don’t know. But my ex…” My shoulders slumped. “Every time I mentioned your name, Daniel lost his shit.”

Trev’s eyes widened. “What? Why? Was he jealous or something?”

I coughed a laugh. “Are you kidding? He was jealous of myclients. He was jealous that I still talk to our friends from high school. You?” I gestured at him. “Do you really think a controlling, insecure jackwagon of a boyfriendwouldn’tbe insanely jealous of the pro hockey player I lost my virginity to?”

Trev blinked, and he also blushed. I was probably blushing too; my cheeks were a little hot, and I had just casually madereference to the fact that we’d had sex a lifetime ago. Totally something I needed either of us thinking about right now when I was struggling not to openly drool over the seriously hot man he’d become.

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