Page 104 of Man Advantage

She didn’t answer immediately. Then she took a deep breath. “Listen. I adore Trev and I always have. You know that.”

“Right,” I said, not sure where this is going.

“But… you’re working for him. And you live with him. If… Honey, if things go off the rails with him, you’re going to be back to where you were with Daniel. Except you’ll be twenty-five hundred miles away from me and the rest of your support network.”

That knot turned into a cold ball of lead. I chewed my lip as I watched myself tugging at a loose thread on the hem of my shirt. “I don’t think he’d… I mean, he’s not like Daniel, you know? It’sTrev.”

“There was a time when you didn’t think that was Daniel, either.”

“No, but he showed his true colors a long time ago. Trev has always been good people.”

“He has. But you’re putting an awful lot of eggs into this basket. Even if Trev doesn’t turn out to be like Daniel—and I don’t think he ever would—you two could still break up. Thingscouldget messy. And then what? You’ll either be stuck living with him and working with him, or you’ll be out of a jobanda home.” She paused. “What if you want to quit the job? Or get your own place? How will that affect your relationship with him?”

I swallowed. I wanted to insist Trev would be fine with any of that. But Bryan had left me full of stupid doubts, and Daniel had left me full of trust issues, and now I didn’t know what to believe.

“I don’t… I don’t know. I really don’t.”

“You might want to think about it, Cam,” Mom said gently. “I think Trev is the last man in the world who’d take advantage of you or toss you out, but I don’t want to take anything for granted. Not after what Daniel put you through.” She sighed. “And the wealth difference between you two—that’s not always a good thing either.”

“What do you mean?”

“Money is power,” she said. “It can be controlling, even if the person with the money isn’t trying to use it that way.”

“I don’t think Trev would, though.”

“I’m sure he wouldn’t. But think about it—if you decided right this second that you wanted to break up with him, would you stop and reconsider how that would affect your job and your housing situation?”

“I…” Something cold trickled down my spine. “I mean, yeah? But that doesn’t mean he’s?—”

“I don’t think he’d lord it over you,” she said softly, “but it exists. It means you’re not nearly as free to leave the relationship as he is. That kind of imbalance—that can cause problems.”

I pressed my lips together. A million protests flew to the tip of my tongue about how Trev would never do that, but she was right. If Trev wanted out, it wouldn’t affect his job, his house, or anything financial. He’d have to hire a new nanny if I bailed, but his stability would be unchanged.

Mystability?

My stability leanedhardon how much Trev liked me and wanted to keep me around, either as his nanny, his boyfriend, or both. If he decided I didn’t need to fill those roles, I’d be out on my ass.

Fuck. That wasn’t good.

“I don’t know what to do,” I admitted. “I adore him. And I love this job. Ineedthis job. I… What do I do?”

“I don’t know, honey. But think about it. And maybe sit down and have a frank conversation with Trev about it. It won’t be comfortable and it won’t be fun, but you two need to be on the same page. Especially if you’re going to continue with any part of this arrangement—living with him, working for him, or dating him.”

I swallowed so hard, it was probably audible on her end. “Okay. I’ll, um… I’ll give it some thought.”

“And you’ll talk to him?”

“I’ll talk to him.” I didn’t know how to bring it up, or when, or—or anything. But Mom was right. This wasn’t something to let fester.

We ended the call not long after that, and I stayed where I was, staring at the ceiling as I turned my silent phone between my hands.

What the fuck was I supposed to do now? Yeah, I needed to think about it and discuss it with Trev, but…how?Where didmy fear and insecurities end and Trev’s true colors begin? How did I bring any of this up without scaring him off? He already had to deal with Bryan’s bullshit, not to mention’s Tim’s, and he couldn’t get away from them. Why would he want to sign up for more bullshit with me?

Ugh. Fuck my life. I’d been squicked out by Bryan’s remarks about sleeping with Trev. And unsettled by his comments about hockey being Trev’s biggest priority over everything else, including his kids and definitely including me.

But even as they’d bothered me, I struggled to imagine it was true. Suggesting that Trev would use someone just because they were convenient and useful—it didn’tfit.

The things my mom said, though—those worried me. A lot. And now that she’d pointed them out, they were exactly what had been lurking beneath the surface. I hadn’t wanted to think about them, as if ignoring them might make them less real, but now that she’d dragged them out into the light, there was no avoiding them.

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