Page 79 of The Promises We Break

“And you—” My father points at Elliot. “Stay the fuck away from my son. You’re never welcome here again.”

What? What the hell did he just say? A pinched look crosses my face as I look between them.

Bobby and Elliot share a silent look between each other that screams louder than any words could.

“I love him, Dad,” Bobby shares quietly, but loud enough for everyone to hear.

“And I love him, Mr. Riley,” Elliot responds urgently, supporting Bobby in his admission.

“No, you don’t. My son is not gay!” he clamors, saliva misting over the air between them.

How long has that been a secret? I wonder how many others know about them? And how many others know aboutme. As usual, I feel alienated and completely in the dark.

“That’s why you’ve been bribing me—forcing me on Ember all these years, right? To marry your daughter and forget about your son because Missouri can’t have a governor with a “gay”son.” Elliot looks down at me, his shoulders slouch as he passes me a pained look. “I won’t hide it anymore. I’m sorry, Em.”

He fakedeverythingwith me.

The truth should shock me and rip me to my core. My father used me to protect his image even further. He thinks if Elliot married me, it would force Elliot and Bobby away from each other. No, instead, they would have had a lifelong affair, hiding themselves from the world and deceiving me, all for the benefit of my father. If I loved Elliot, that would destroy me. But, at this point, it doesn’t matter. They’ve all already done that.

Hudson’s hold squeezes tighter, like he needs to hold me to keep me grounded, to keep me present and lucid.

Bobby’s gaze dips in shame, and I realize for the first time that’s not just my reaction to my father, it’s all of ours. I’ve always seen him as the strongest of us all, the favorite to my father, but it’s a mask. My father has built us to be ashamed of ourselves, and Bobby is no different.

“You are fucking done.” He pushes Elliot out of his way. “And you,” he turns to face my mother, “you fucking whore. When I’m done with you. You’ll be nothing, you’ll have nothing again.” Her arms are wrapped around the front of her frail body, completely frazzled with tear-stained cheeks and labored breaths.

“Robert, you promised,” she begs.

“Years of putting up with her presence, and the entire time,she’s been a toxin bleeding through this family. It disgusts me.” He rubs the back of his hand over his bloody nose, then spits on the ground near my feet.

Closing my eyes, I turn into Hudson. I can’t face them. I can’t face any of them.

I am an “it”, the illegitimate child out of an affair my mother had. No wonder he hates me so much and my mother resents me.

I’ve always felt alone. That’s not a new emotion in my world, but never have I felt so distant and estranged because I’ve never truly belonged anywhere. The small amount of worth I held on to has dissipated to non-existent dust.

My throat is dry as sandpaper, and although my words are a breath of a whisper, they blare through to Hudson like a siren.

“Red… big red.”

39

HUDSON

The moment the words floated from her lips, a switch flipped. I tucked one arm under Ember’s leg and wrapped the other around her back, lifting her off the ground and away from that torture chamber. An extravagant hallway painted with her childhood pictures, a mirage of lies, while they spewed the worst insults any human could to another.

My blood still boils, and I’ve never wanted to murder someone in cold blood like I do him. Still thinking of all the ways I could do that while I drive us away from the place she has always known as home, knowing she will never return, I know I need to do something for her.

Other than the safe word she used, she hasn’t said anything. She’s retreated within herself, just like she would when we first met.

My mind works in overdrive as I try to think of things that will help, and my original thought is still at the forefront of my mind. She needs to know she has a home. In me. In us. There are people that will love her unconditionally.

I pull over to the side of the road, pick up my phone, andlook up flights to get the hell out of here. There’s one, one goddamn flight tonight.

I look around at our surroundings, knowing it’s a stretch to get there, being that we need to go back to the hotel to get our things and to the airport, but I’m damn well going to fucking try. Turning back to Ember, she’s dazing out the window, and I don’t even think she’s realized we’ve stopped. It’s like she’s petrified, and I have no idea how she’s going to come back from something like this. And if she does, if she’ll ever be the same.

Still,she has said nothing. Not a word when we got to the airport, checked in for the flight, boarded the plane, got the rental car, or pulled up here to my parents’ house. She doesn’t even know what state we are in.

It’s late, well after midnight. And even though my parents are typically in bed by now, the light is on and I’m guessing my mom waited up after I texted her all the details of what happened.

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