He’s leaning over the circular barrier of the fountain. Hewould be clenching his fists if it weren’t for the cement preventing his fingers from curling. I’m surprised the pressure doesn’t break the hardened stone with how tense everything is. I’ve never seen him like this.
He looks at the water, studying his own reflection, before he stands to his full height and turns around to face me.
“Just do me a favor and stay away from him.” His tone is calm and sounds like my Hudson again. But it’s clear he’s bothered.
“Why?” Which is the wrong thing to ask because it sounds like defiance. “I mean… what happened between you two?”
Placing his hands on his hips, he’s uncomfortable, unsure.
“I was engaged—” He pauses and looks at me with concern, before quickly averting his gaze. I am a little shocked, but I remain impassive and just listen. “He said she came after him… but Henry, he… he always wants what someone else has. Specifically with me. He’s done that our whole lives.”
He kicks an invisible rock on the ground, his eyes avoiding me.
“They were engaged for a while after she left me. Until he got bored.”
He runs his hands through his hair, weaving them behind his neck as he peers up to the sky.
“I’m so sorry,” I reply genuinely. He’s embarrassed, ashamed. And I can only imagine the self-doubt that someone would live with if their fiance left them for their sibling.
“I didn’t know he was your brother. He just said he knew the players. I just figured he was part of the team somehow.” I step closer to him and reach around his shoulders, unhooking his stiff hands from his neck and placing them on my waist.
This is definitely crossing that line I drew out, but he’s struggling. I can feel the hurt in his voice, and this is the only way I know how to comfort him.
Placing my hands over his face, I pull his nose down to meetmine. I’m engulfed by his familiar and comforting woodsy scent, mixed with the florals that surround us, and I can’t stop myself from bringing his lips to mine. I know I shouldn’t, but I want to make him feel better.
The agony he’s feeling is like wildfire, spreading between the two of us, and this kiss is powerful enough to extinguish it.
I instantly melt into him as he pulls me in flush with his body. We swallow each other’s moans as our tongues dance together in perfect rhythm with each other.
His hand trails up my arm and caresses my neck. Our kiss turns passionate as he palms my face, bringing us even closer together.
My heart and mind battle each other, and it’s these moments that make me wonder if I could have both. The kind of relationship that allows for independence and a reliable comfort in someone else, without losing myself to that person. The kind of relationship that is highly improbable. The kind of relationship that scares the shit out of me because it increases my chances of turning out just like my mother.
His eyes are squeezed shut as I pull away, and I can feel him tense again. I press my nose back to his, telling him I’m not going anywhere and that I know he needs me right now.
“Take me home.”
25
HUDSON
Ihaven’t heard from my brother since we left the gala last week. I’m surprised, since he usually likes to instigate shit with me. I know he doesn’t have Ember’s contact information, and thankfully, Ember hates social media, so if he tries to find her, he won’t be able to. Not easily, at least.
I’m probably overreacting, and I definitely overreacted when I saw him, but I couldn’t help myself. The moment he came into view, standing next to her, it was like all the therapy I’ve done got tossed out the window and the only things that were left were rage and resentment.
That night, Ember comforted me in ways I didn’t know she could. I think she surprised herself, too. She also opened up more than she wanted to because after, she shied away from me a little. Even though we didn’t cross the friend line, other than that courtyard kiss that could have rivaled the most romantic movies, we went home together and she let me hold her, which I took advantage of, all night long.
She’s definitely getting used to the idea of some kind of relationship, even though it’s just anarrangement,in our case.Maybe, that’s just it. It’s easier to view this as an agreement, and that makes it easier to disconnect.
Regardless, she has been opening up, and I’m thankful for that.
I’ve decided to let this continue to play out, in hopes she’ll really see how great things could be before our time comes to an end. She can have everything she wants. And I want to give it to her.
The team leaves for our first stint of away games tonight, and I won’t be back for almost two weeks. The schedule is going to get brutal from here on out. I’m excited to be traveling with the team, and this is an entirely different experience compared to the minors. I’m beyond excited to travel with the guys, play ball, and reclaim my worth, but can’t say I’ll miss my nights coming home to a certain redheaded siren. Especially Friday—my new favorite night of the week—designated as take out night, on which we always decide on pizza.
Me: What are you up to, little red?
Little Red: Thinking pizza alone sounds terrible.