“Do you go to her office?”
“No, we Zoom.”
“Does she know you don’t go out?”
“I don’t know. We have more important things to talk about, like Mike.” Julia felt a stab of grief.
Courtney’s expression softened. “What does she say about meds?”
“Nothing. She gave me coping strategies, like box breathing. Breathe in and count to four, then breathe out and count to four.” Julia didn’t like feeling that she had a mental illness, but at the same time, judged herself for being so retro, newly sensitive to terms likecrazy,basket case,nutjob. She wondered if people understood how easily you could cross the divide from normal, whateverthatwas, to whatever she was now.
Courtney met her eye. “I gotta say, I think you need meds.”
“I gotta say, I think you sell office equipment.”
“Jules, sales involves a lot of psychology.”
“But I’m not a laser copier.”
Courtney smiled. “Then how are you going to Tuscany if you don’t leave the apartment? I’d go with you but I have work.”
“I’m not going.”
“What?” Courtney’s lips parted in surprise.
“There’s no reason to go, and I have work.” Julia sipped more wine. She wanted to go to Tuscany, but she couldn’t imagine it, with or without Courtney. It simply wasn’t possible.
“What about the money?”
“They can send me a check.”
“And the villa?”
“They can sell it.”
“Don’t you want toseeit first?”
“Why? I’m not moving there.”
Courtney blinked. “What about the investigator? Don’t you want to meet with him about your bio family?”
“We can Zoom.” Julia didn’t use terms likebio familybecause she hadn’t grown up with them. Maybe she wasold-school, too. Meanwhile she’d always wanted to know about her biological family, who they were, where they were from, and why they’d given her up. But Italy?
Maybe far away or maybe real nearby.
“You’reZoominginstead of going to Florence?” Courtney threw up her arms. “Jules, youhaveto go! They have so much art! You’d love it, and you’re rich! You can go shop till you drop!”
“I don’t need anything.” Julia flashed on the last time she’d gone shopping, with Mike at Crate & Barrel, when they’d bought an end table.Another end table?he’d asked.Can this be the end of the end tables?
“But what’re you going to do with the money?”
“Get out of debt, pay off my cards and loans, save—”
“Buy something, buy a Porsche! Don’t you want a Porsche?”
“No, I have a car. Do you want a Porsche? I’ll get you one.”
“Aw.” Courtney smiled, waving her off. “I’m not taking your money.”