“—I could’ve warned him.” Julia was upset all over again. It felt like a confession, but she was already guilty.
“What difference would it have made?”
“He could’ve moved aside. I could’ve screamed sooner. People could’ve come.” Julia’s gut twisted. “Anything could have happened. Anythingelse.”
Courtney scoffed, shaking her head.
“Plus if I’d read the horoscope,Iwould’ve made different choices. Not go out to dinner. Order in. Cook. He’d be alive today.”
“Mike didn’t die because of a stupid horoscope.”
“Don’t you believe in astrology? I thought you did.”
“Not likethis.” Courtney’s expression softened. “Look, I believe there’s a lot of things we don’t understand. I believe in God, and He does work in mysterious ways. I know it’s a cliché, but I believe it.”
Julia had gone to church when her mother was alive, but not since. She’d lost her religion on her tenth birthday.
“Everything happens for a reason. Another cliché, but it’s true.”
Julia couldn’t imagine the reason God would take Mike in such a horrible way.
Courtney frowned. “Jules, you look tired. How are you sleeping?”
“I’m okay.” Julia glanced at herself on the screen. She used to be cute, but she’d lost weight and her face was too thin. Her blue eyes had dark circles underneath, and there was a reason her dirty blonde hair looked dirty.
“You’re out of pajamas. Good for you.”
“Right?” Julia had on a house sweater and yoga pants that could use a laundering, but the washer-dryer was in the basement, which creeped her out these days.
“Anything new on Mike’s case?”
“Not yet.”
“You can’t be okay in the apartment with all his stuff.”
“I like his stuff.” Julia loved Mike’s stuff. His headset and gaming console sat beside the monitor. His puffy coat and backpack hung by the door. His ChapStick tubes rolled on the kitchen counter. Most of their kisses had been Classic Spearmint. Last Thanksgiving, she bought him Pumpkin Pie flavor, which he didn’t like.
What, no turkey flavor?
Courtney was saying, “Let me help you pack it up. I can make a quick trip to Philly. We can put it in storage.”
“No, thanks.” Julia couldn’t bear the thought ofstoringMike. “How are you?”
“I’m fine, but I worry about you.” Courtney cocked her head. “Did you think about moving to Chicago? You could be near me. There’s nothing keeping you in Philly.”
Julia knew it was true. Most of their friends were Mike’s. He was the extrovert, not her. “I live here. We picked this apartment together.”
“Come on, we’d love to have you. We could hang like we used to.”
Julia cringed. They’d been a foursome at school, not a threesome. “You’re never home anyway.”
“What are you going to do for Christmas?”
Julia didn’t want to go there. “Could we get back to the horoscope? I mean, itpredictedhis murder.”
“Let me see for myself.” Courtney started typing on her laptop. “Okay, I’m on StrongSign. Oh look, a pop-up. It says I can ask the stars a free question.”
“So, ask.”