Page 23 of After Anna

“I believe you can, but be patient with her during the transition.”

“I will, of course. I’ll do anything she needs.” Maggie gave a final sniffle, holding on to the Kleenex.

“If you don’t mind, tell me about your home life and your marriage, if you would.”

“I remarried two years ago, very happily, and I have a stepson, Caleb, who’s adorable.” Maggie felt her chest ease, on a happier subject. “My husband, Noah, is a pediatric allergist, and I work in his group’s office doing billing part-time, which enables me to take Caleb to his speech pathologist in the afternoons. He has childhood apraxia of speech.”

“I’m familiar with it. CAS.” Ellen nodded. “So you feel Anna could fit in well with your family?”

“Yes, truly. My husband is as excited as I am. And Caleb will love her. He can be shy around new people, but she seems quiet and non-judgmental.”

“She is.” Ellen smiled. “Anna told me she’s been following you on Facebook. She may have a tendency to idealize your family life, in the way we believe in the beautiful images we post for each other. Social media has made counseling adolescents and children much more difficult. They believe wholesale in what others post about their lives, their boyfriends, their parents, and the like.”

“Oh, I’m sure. Every time I feel good about myself, if I go on Facebook I feel instantly inferior.”

Ellen chuckled. “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m talking about, and you’re an adult, your personality fully formed. But imagine if it isn’t yet, and that’s doubly true for girls, who get the societal message that physical appearance is paramount. I helped write the school policy regarding posting, which is admittedly strict. Congreve privileges face-to-face interactions over virtual ones.”

“Sounds like we’re on the same page.”

“But, to return to the point, you should note that Anna is mourning her father, as well as the loss of the fantasy of her father. And she’s conflicted and angry because it doesn’t square with what she has, or had.”

“I understand.”

“She held out hope that someday he would realize that she was wonderful and be a true father to her.” Ellen paused. “I never saw that happening. I reached out to him several times, and he never responded.”

Maggie felt even more angry at Florian, if that were possible. If he hadn’t been dead already, she would have killed him.

“So her mourning and her grief are complicated.”

Maggie remembered Anna telling her that at dinner. “Do you worry that she’s suicidal? Because that concerns me.”

“No, I don’t. She has never had suicidal ideation.”

“That’s a relief.”

“Anna does have abandonment issues. She felt abandoned by you, her father, and her grandparents.” Ellen frowned. “My work with her has been to help her not blame herself. It’s deleterious for her self-esteem.”

“I feel terrible for her. It’s just so sad. How can I help her?”

“I think it’s important for you and your husband to demonstrate that you are there for her. She will expect you to leave her, let her down, or disappoint her.”

“I would never do that.”

“You can earn her trust and love bit by bit, day by day. I’m optimistic.”

“Me too.” Maggie knew she could turn it around. She owed it to Anna. She would make it her mission.

“So.” Ellen checked her watch, then rose. “I’m afraid I’m late. Feel free to call me anytime. I told Anna the same thing.”

“Don’t you want to say good-bye to her?” Maggie stood up and got her purse. “We can swing by tomorrow morning before we fly home.”

“No, we said our good-byes.” Ellen’s eyes twinkled. “Your response is exactly the one we hoped for, now that the abuse allegations have been debunked. By the way, Anna has no recollection of any abuse by you.”

“What does she remember?” Maggie asked, her curiosity piqued. “Can a child evenhavememories from infancy?”

“Not often, but her sense memories are happy ones, and her recollection is feeling loved and safe with you.”

“How great!” Maggie felt a warm rush of happiness.

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