Page 94 of After Anna

No there’s not. And I don’t think she’s lying.

She knows where Jamie is.

You don’t know that.

Yes I do. I know when a kid’s lying, and she’s lying.

Noah, really? She’s my daughter, and what she said made sense. I should’ve thought of it before. Jamie didn’t tell her where she was going, on purpose.

To give her deniability? What teenager thinks like that? No way. You had her dead-to-rights with the notes.

Why did you tell her I found the other notes?

What’s the matter with that? She has to tell us where Jamie is. There’s a girl out there on the streets. You know bad things happen. We just lost Mike.

Noah, Jamie is not Mike. This is not about Mike.

I know that, Noah had said, finding himself in the confounding position of making the opposite argument he had made in their last argument. They’d been fighting so much he hadn’t been able to keep track.

I told you I would do the talking.

I let you.Noah hadn’t begun to understand how he and Maggie had gotten so far apart. He hadn’t been able to remember the last time they’d agreed on anything.Maggie, you have to think about Jamie. She’s missing.

She’s not missing, she ran away. It happens every day. It’s not Adam Walsh time.

Her parents don’t know where she is. To me, that’s missing. We should call the school and ask them for the contact information for Jamie’s parents. We could call Jamie’s parents and tell them—

What? To call Anna? To give her a hard time?

Maggie, I’m not gonna pretend this didn’t happen. We could call the school and get Jamie’s information. Or PG and Connie’s. How hard can that be to figure out?

I’m not doing that.

Why not? Don’t you care about Jamie?

I care about Anna more, and so should you.

Any parent would be heartbroken if their kid went missing, even if she’d run away. Can you imagine?

Yes, Noah, I can imagine that just perfectly.Maggie’s eyes had brimmed with tears.Because I’ve been doing that for the past seventeen years, and if you keep this up, I’m going to lose her for good.

Babe, listen, Noah had reached out to her, but Maggie had pushed his hand away.

Noah, I don’t know who you are lately. When did you turn into such a control freak?

But for that, Noah had no answer, except one that was unsayable:

After Anna.

Chapter Forty-four

Maggie, Before

The morning dawned gray and chilly, and Maggie got out of her car at the Lenape Nature Preserve, breathing in fresh air. She hadn’t slept, and Noah hadn’t either, though they lay back to back, neither saying a word. Anna had fallen asleep in her room with her clothes on, and the sight of Anna’s lovely face, set in profile against the pillow, had reminded Maggie so much of when she was a little baby. The memory had come rushing back of how sweet Anna had been as an infant, and how Maggie used to watch her sleep, hanging on the crib rail and breathing in her powdery smells, listening to her soft breathing, realizing that her new baby was a miracle, belonging to her,madefrom her.

Maggie sank into a bench, wiping her eyes. She couldn’t fathom how everything had gone so wrong so fast. She spotted Kathy’s car on the road and felt as if the cavalry were on the way. Kathy honked hello as she pulled into the parking lot, and Maggie rose. Kathy parked, got out of the car, and gave Maggie a big hug.

“That bad, eh?” Kathy whispered, and Maggie smiled tearfully, letting her go.

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