Page 41 of Forever Summer

“I’m so sorry, Tess, I’m so sorry,” I blubbered. I was sorry for being a shitty friend, for being so self-absorbed and so clueless to her needs. For not being there when she needed me, for lying to her, not confiding in her, and not even being able to get my shit together enough to be here for her surprise because once again I had put my feelings, my issues before hers.

Tess laughed through her own tears, pulling back and wiping my cheeks just like her mum had done to her.

“What are you sorry about? You’re here and I love you for it.”

“Yeah, late, what kind of friend—”

“Oh, stop it, you’re here and you’re amazing, now stop making me cry.” And just as Tess worked on clearing the smudges under her eyes, her focus landed on Adam, who hovered to the side, almost with an anxious air about him before moving in to grab Tess into a big bear hug.

“You surprised?” he asked, kissing her on the head and continuing his hold. Tess looked around at the beautifully lit room, themed in gold and navy, a huge banner with ‘Toby and Tess’ bridging the walkway between the inside and out. Catering waiters fluttered around the place with trays of champagne and canapés.

“Ah, yeah,” she laughed, “considering Toby said he just wanted to drop in to pick up a car part from Sean, this was not something I expected in a million years.” Tess threw an accusing eye at Toby who was caught in his own manly embrace with Sean, the ultimate symbol of true friendship. I stepped forward; putting everything aside for tonight, I wrapped my arms around Adam and Tess, and they adjusted to let me in, sweeping their arms around me for the group hug. I looked at my two beautiful friends and vowed I would do better, be better as a friend. I didn’t know if that was possible; after all, I had made many vows in my life and usually broke them all. From this moment on things would be different: no more selfish drama, secrets or lies; I had to start being real and to do that I had to start with the people that meant the most in my life.

I had to start with Tess; I had to start with Adam.

Things had changed. Adam and I didn’t burn up the dance floor as tradition would have predicted. Instead, we moved in different circles; the party was big enough to do it with ease. I never sought him out and he never sought me out. I wasn’t even sure if I was going back home in the boat or some other way. I tried not to think about it. I tried to push all the instinctual ‘Ellie stuff’ aside, for at least one night. It never completely stopped me from watching Adam or keeping tabs on him in my peripheral vision. Never more so than when I saw him leaning against the bar talking to Megsy; it was around the same time I decided to drag Ringer onto the dance floor as the band played a rather excellent cover of ‘Brown Eyed Girl’. I actually did get lost in the feeling of the music and just enjoyed the over-the-top rock-and-roll-style movements of Ringer spinning me around the floor.

“When’s Miranda moving down?” I asked mid-turn.

Ringer paused, misjudging the movement, and brought me back in too fast, slamming me against his chest so hard it knocked the wind out of us. The question had obviously distracted his coordination, as I winced in pain.

Luckily the song choice changed into something slower and we decided to be less adventurous with our dance moves and settled on the tradition of the slow dance. It also gave me a moment to recognise the change in Ringer’s demeanour, as he cleared his throat and looked down at our two left feet.

“Ah, she’s, um, she’s not.”

“What? Why?” I asked, genuinely horrified.

Ringer shrugged. “We had a fight. It’s over,” he said, spinning me slowly and bringing me back into the slow dance, this time with greater care.

I shook my head. “It can’t be over, you two are great together.”

But when Ringer didn’t look at me, instead his shrug was smaller, his expression grimmer, I knew my friendship wasn’t wholly exclusive to Tess and Adam. I grabbed him by the hand and motioned him off the dance floor. “Come on, I can’t hear myself think,” I said, dragging him out to the deck, leading him to the farthest railing that overlooked the expansive lake that looked vast and black in the night, reflecting only the moon and the party lights from the main house.

“Spill,” I said, folding my arms and casting him a poignant look.

“There’s nothing to tell, honestly,” he said, leaning on the railing and staring out over the dark mass of water.

“I call bullshit; what was the fight over?”

Ringer frowned at me. “You know, you can be real bloody nosey when you want to be.”

“Guilty; now spill.”

Ringer sighed, knowing that there was no way of escaping my interrogation, so he settled in for the long haul.

“We’re completely different,” he began, and by the time he had explained all the trivial, nitpicking details over the ludicrous reasoning of their fight, I sat opposite him simply smiling like a fool.

“What’s so funny?” Ringer said, straightening from the railing.

“Do you love her?”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Ellie.” Ringer shifted, looking back out over the lake, almost embarrassed by the question.

“It’s a simple question, Ringo: do you love her?”

I didn’t think he was going to answer me. I mean, it’s not like Ringer and the Onslow Boys were well versed in talking about their feelings. So when I went to repeat the question, Ringer snapped.

“Of course I fucking love her. I love her so fucking much I feel that I can’t breathe without her.”

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