Page 53 of Crown of Ashes and Desire

I could enter, face her questions, and ease the pain in my chest because whenever she was close, her light overshadowed the darkness inside me. Or I could walk away, maintain the distance that had kept her safe in the past several years, keep my weakness hidden from those who would exploit it.

In the end, it wasn’t really a choice at all.

I turned away from Ada’s door and headed toward my own chambers, where shadows and solitude awaited. Where I could rebuild the walls around my heart that had begun crumbling the moment she’d reentered my life.

She was safer without my presence. Safer hating me than loving me.

I would protect her from Midas, from my father, from the ritual that threatened to consume her light.

And I would protect her from myself most of all.

Ada

Aweek had passed since the assassin’s blade had found its mark, and I was ready to tear the walls down with my bare hands.

The attack had changed everything. What should have been my moment of escape had become another cage, anothersetback. I pressed my fingers to the thin silver lines on my face where the blade had cut me, the physical wounds healed but the frustration burning hotter than ever. My shoulder still ached where the weapon had found its mark, but that pain was nothing compared to the agony of being farther from Kiraz than ever.

I caught my reflection in one of the mirrors—pale, haunted, desperate. The attack had cost me precious time, precious opportunity. Hakan’s protective instincts had been triggered, and now he followed me with the intensity of a hunter, convinced that keeping me locked away was the only way to ensure my safety. Meanwhile, my daughter was out there with Nadine, safe but probably wondering when I would return.

“He can’t just lock me away like I’m a prisoner!” I paced my chambers, frustration mounting with each step. The Persian carpet beneath my feet muffled my furious footfalls, robbing me of even the satisfaction of making noise.

Melo watched from her cushion, fox eyes tracking my movements. Her russet fur caught the light as she tilted her head, seeming almost amused by my distress. Sometimes I caught her staring at her reflection with an expression too complex for any ordinary fox.

“Seven days since Hakan locked me away for my ‘protection,’” I said, my voice thick with desperation. “I need to get back to Kiraz. She’s safe with Nadine, but she needs her mother.”

“Technically, he can keep you locked up. His realm, his rules,” Melo said, her familiar voice carrying that edge of sarcasm I was familiar with.

I stopped pacing and glared at her. “Whose side are you on?”

“Yours, always,” she replied, though her tone remained sardonic. “But throwing yourself at the walls the way a caged bird does isn’t exactly strategic thinking.”

“I don’t care about strategy,” I snapped. “I care about my daughter. Every day I’m trapped here is another day stolen from us.” I resumed pacing, my anger building. “He thinks he can keep me safe by making me a prisoner. Well, I’m done being grateful for the salvation that comes with chains.”

Melo’s amber eyes gleamed with understanding. “What did you have in mind?”

"Something that will make him drop every guard he has. I'd been watching him carefully, noting the moments when the cruel shadow lord facade cracked to reveal glimpses of the man I'd once known. His study represented absolute control—destroy that, and I'd force him to react emotionally instead of strategically. In those emotional moments, I'd seen traces of who he used to be. Maybe I could use that." I stood up and smoothed my dress. “Something that will remind him of what we shared in those tunnels, how vulnerable he was when he thought he’d lost me.” My voice hardened with resolve. “I’m going to destroy his study. Make him furious enough to come after me. And then…”

“And then?” Melo prompted, her tail swishing with what appeared suspiciously to be anticipation.

“Then I’m going to seduce my husband,” I said, the words tasting as bitter as ash and determination. “I’m going to make him remember why he can’t bear to lose me. And when his defenses are completely down, when he’s lost in me…that’s when I run.”

Melo studied my face carefully, her expression shifting to something more serious. “That’s a dangerous game, Ada. Using intimacy as a weapon.”

“I know,” I said grimly. “But I’m running out of options.”

“Well,” Melo said, and rose gracefully to her feet with that fox-like smirk I knew so well, “if you’re going to manipulate the Shadow Lord, you might as well do it properly. His study is his temple of control—destroy that, and you’ll have him exactlywhere you want him. Emotionally compromised and thinking with parts of his anatomy that aren’t his brain.”

A dangerous smile curved my lips. “You’re terrible.”

“I’m practical,” she corrected with a wicked gleam in her eyes. “And I’ve been watching you two dance around each other for weeks. Time to cut in.”

I grabbed my traveling cloak from the chair—if we were caught, I’d need to look like I was simply wandering the castle, not planning destruction.

“You realize,” Melo said as we slipped through the shadows of the corridor toward Hakan’s study, “that if this backfires spectacularly, I’m going to have to save you from your own stupidity. Again.”

“Your confidence in me is overwhelming,” I stated dryly.

“My confidence in your ability to seduce men? Unshakeable. My confidence in your ability to think clearly when emotions are involved? Let’s just say I’ve seen you make better decisions.” She paused at a junction. “Still, destroying his precious sanctuary should definitely get his attention. Nothing quite like breaking a man’s favorite toys to make him lose his mind.”

---