Page 49 of Crown of Ashes and Desire

Hakan didn't look away from me, his hands still battling to contain the shadow poison. "The healers?" His tone was deadly quiet.

“On their way,” Sarp confirmed, “but your binding with her is doing most of the work. The shadow poison is responding to your power better than any healer could manage.”

Hakan’s jaw tightened. “Then we proceed. Gather the war council once she’s stable. Someone will answer for this breach in security.”

With a nod to me that might have held something like respect, Sarp melted back into the shadows, leaving us alone again.

“Hakan,” I whispered, desperate to stay conscious, to understand what was happening. “Why…would they…”

“Shh,” he soothed, surprising gentleness in his touch while he brushed hair from my face. “Save your strength. I will handle this.”

“But—”

“They will not touch you again,” he vowed, and power resonated in his words. “I will burn this kingdom to the ground before I let that happen.”

The ferocity in his voice should have frightened me. This was Hakan the Shadow Lord at his most dangerous, his most inhuman. The Primal of Shadow and Ashes unbridled, wrath incarnate.

But when consciousness finally, mercifully began to fade, I found myself unafraid. Whatever monster lurked behind Hakan’s burning eyes, whatever ancient power surged through his veins—in this moment, it was focused entirely on keeping me alive, on avenging the wrong done to me.

His arms encircled me, lifting me with impossible care. The last thing I felt was his heartbeat pressed to my cheek, racing but strong. The last thing I heard was his voice, no longer layered with inhuman harmonics but rough with emotion.

"Stay with me, Ada. Please."

When the void claimed me, I thought I heard him add, "I can't lose you. Not again. Not through this."

As shadow enveloped me, his presence remained in my mind, a tether anchoring me to life, his thoughts wrapping around mine as a protective shield opposing the encroaching oblivion.

I've got you, his voice promised in the depths.I won't let you go.

Hakan

The sight of the assassin’s blood on my clothes—Ada’s blood—triggered the memory without warning, as vivid as if it had happened yesterday instead of five years ago.

I’d found her at a tavern near the docks—beautiful, willing, and completely forgettable.A few charming words, a flash of gold, and she'd followed me home with eager anticipation,already imagining whatever fantasy she'd constructed about bedding a man of my obvious wealth and power.

I hadn’t bothered to learn her fucking name.

“Strip,” I’d ordered the moment we entered mine and Ada’s bedchamber, the same room where my fated mate would be arriving within the hour. The same bed where I’d held Ada just the night before, where I made love to her and whispered promises of forever that I’d had every intention of keeping.

Until the shadow messenger had arrived, revealing the full truth of what my heritage would cost.

Ada had been there when I’d learned I was Erlik’s son. Had held my hand through the initial shock, had wiped away my angry tears when I’d discovered my entire life had been a lie. She’d been supportive, loving, convinced that we could face this new reality together. She was everything that I ever wanted and more. We had known each other since we were young, and I had always known she was Gün Ata’s daughter—we’d grown up together in the borderlands where light and shadow territories met. But now that knowledge has become a deadly secret. It was time to let her go. Ada needed to be protected because I didn’t trust Erlik. In his message, he’d claimed my mother had run away from him and never told him she was pregnant with his child, but I knew he would view my love for the daughter of his ancient enemy as the ultimate weakness—and the ultimate opportunity for revenge.

What Erlik didn’t know yet was Ada’s true parentage. That secret had been carefully guarded by both our families, but I knew it was only a matter of time before he discovered it. When he did, he would see her not as my weakness, but as his greatest prize. Love made me vulnerable—a liability Erlik couldn’t afford in his heir. She couldn’t remain by my side when I claimed my birthright.

I hadn’t told her when I’d discovered it all. I couldn’t bear to see the fear replace her love. And so I’d made the decision alone—to save her by breaking her heart so completely she’d never look back.

The woman had smiled, mistaking my coldness for passion, my abruptness for desire. The dress had slipped from her shoulders with practiced ease, revealing a body that should have tempted me but left me hollow. I'd forced myself to appear appreciative, to gesture toward the bed with a smirk that burned bitter on my lips. I fucking loved Ada more than I loved myself, but I knew I had to choose. The shadow power called to me, promised me greatness, and I told myself that claiming it would give me the strength to protect her from a distance. In that moment, I chose power, convincing myself it was the only way to keep her safe from what I was about to become.

“Aren’t you going to join me?” she’d purred, stretching across the sheets where Ada’s scent still lingered.

Ada always made me lose control so easily. She was also the only one who could calm me down. But the woman before me now was nothing more than a means to an end.

"Eager, aren't we?" I challenged.

She giggled with fucking childish delight.

I stripped and slipped under the covers. I brought her close to me and kissed her, still drowning in Ada’s scent. It had been a necessary move—I had already sensed Ada approaching, and this had to seem real. The woman moaned into my mouth, and for a second, I imagined that I held Ada when the door of our bedchamber opened.

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