Page 1 of Crown of Ashes and Desire

Ada

Ialways knew my wedding day would end in blood.

Not the traditional kind where the groom presented the bloodied sheets to prove my virtue—a custom still expected in royal marriages of the Light Court, though one many found archaic—no, I was talking about the kind that stained marblefloors. The kind that brought death. The blood drummed in my ears, accompanied by the symphony of screams.

My hands wouldn’t stop shaking. I stared at my reflection, a spectator of the divine light shimmering across the white lace that felt more like chains with each passing second.

“My lady, please stop fidgeting,” the servant whispered, her own hands trembling as she adjusted my veil. “The entire court is waiting for you.”

Of course, they were waiting. The entire Isik Sarayi—the Palace of Light that served as the seat of power for light wielders—gathered to witness me marry Deniz, to watch me sacrifice my freedom for duty. The union of Gün Ata’s daughter and the son of a prominent shadow family would finally stabilize the borders, a marriage of a peace treaty, ceasing decades of hostility, skirmishes, and a contract to end bloodshed… all but mine, of course.

None of them knew about the darkness that haunted my dreams, about the soul-tether that still ached inside me even after he corrupted it with shadow magic. The pain was constantly there, seeping through whenever I attempted to mask it with happiness. He was dead to me in this realm. Over five years since he chose power over love, over five years pretending he no longer existed, and yet the pain remained.

I remembered the day my father, Gün Ata’s, ascended to godhood. One moment, I was his daughter; the next, I was the heir to the Isik Sarayi with divine magic that made others both revere and fear me. Upon a divine's ascension, the realms would require the heir to fulfill certain requirements to claim their power—including binding with another magically powerful being. A political marriage to Deniz wouldn’t satisfy this requirement; his magic was too weak, too diluted by mortal blood. The council knew this, which was why they did notsupport the union—it would keep me from claiming my full inheritance.

Hakan was once intended to be that person.

Five years later, I was still drowning under the weight of those expectations. The light I inherited should have been pure, untainted—but something dark still lurked within it, a shadow I couldn’t purge no matter how I tried.

A flash of golden fur caught my eye. Melo, my fox guardian—a spirit from the ancient steppes who had been bound to my bloodline for generations, serving as both protector and spiritual guide—prowled the chamber’s edges with unusual agitation. Sometimes I caught her staring at her reflection with an expression too complex for any ordinary fox, as if she were trying to remember something just beyond her grasp. Her turquoise eyes held depths that seemed almost... human. Her eyes met mine in the mirror; warning radiated from them, and my heart stopped. The shadows in the corners seemed darker than they should have been, as if they were waiting…

As if he were waiting.

My fingers trembled. I smoothed down the intricate lace of my wedding gown. The silk whispered against my skin, cool and unforgiving. I caught a weary gaze in the mirror, noting the shadows under my eyes that even the finest cosmetics couldn’t fully conceal.

“You look like you’re dressing for a funeral, not a wedding,” Melo quipped, her tail swishing. My fox guardian looked up at me with eyes that seemed to hold all the wisdom of the ancient forests of Anatolia. “Though I suppose with that stick-in-the-mud, Deniz, it might as well be.”

I knelt, burying my face in her soft fur. My frustration manifested as golden light flickering between my fingertips, warming Melo’s fur. She huffed in displeasure as the magiccurled her whiskers. “Control yourself,” she muttered. “Your light is showing.”

“What am I doing, Melo?”

“Getting married to the wrong man, obviously,” she retorted, but nuzzled me gently. “But don’t worry, I’ve got sharp teeth and I’m not afraid to use them on his fancy clothing.”

A knock at the door interrupted our banter. Asu entered a vision in pale- blue silk. Her smile faltered when she took in my expression. "Oh, sister," she breathed, and wrapped me in an embrace that smelled of jasmine and home.

“It’s not too late,” she murmured. “If you truly can’t go through with this?—”

“No.” I pulled away, straightening my spine. “I made a promise to them. This wedding will end the conflict between Isik and Gölge—the realms of Light and Shadow. I can’t back out now.”

“But at what cost?” Asu’s brow furrowed. “Your happiness? Your future?”

A bitter laugh escaped my lips. "My future?" I asked. "They decided that long ago."

Memories flooded my mind, unbidden. The rooftop of his manor overlooking the Veil Waters, bathed in moonlight. The pressure of cold glass against my back when muscular hands pinned my wrists above my head. Green eyes, desire so dark it bloomed, boring into mine. Hakan’s voice, rough with want: “You’re mine, Ada, and if another man touches you, I will rip his heart out and make you watch it beat its last. Remember, you’re mine only.”

That night, a mere month before he discovered his shadow heritage, his words had seemed romantic, possessive in a way that thrilled me. How could I have known that six weeks later, he would choose his father’s legacy over our love?

I shook my head, banishing the thoughts as the sharp pain sliced through my core. It was always a reminder not to let thoughts of him leak back into my head. The man I once loved was gone. He had become the shadow lord who took his rightful place in the darkness.

Our future had disintegrated into ash the day he’d made his choice.

“Deniz is a good man,” Asu said softly. “He may not be… him, but he cares for you. Perhaps, in time?—”

“Don’t.” My voice was sharp. “Please, Asu. I can’t… I can’t think about that right now.”

A commotion in the hallway cut off Asu’s response. She tensed, listening.

“What is it?” I asked, my hand instinctively reaching for hers.

---