Page 68 of Meet Me in Montreal

Santino shrugged too, reluctant to admit to Bobby that sometimes he did worry about that. Not for what the guy could do to him, but to Vanessa, if he was as dangerous as Antoinette had said he was. Would he harbor a grudge and come looking for vengeance someday?

Someone getting to Vanessa when he wasn’t there to stop them was the only thing he feared second to her loving someone else. These were the secrets that sometimes kept him up at night, that sometimes fueled his nightmares in sleep. But if Santino voiced those fears, it would give them power, like a dark talisman that had lain quiet suddenly surging to life.

“What about now? What’s next, huh?” Bobby picked up after a time of staring at the musicians inside the bar. “You’re, what, twenty-eight, twenty-nine? I’m not saying I don’t want you back with my sister. If you intend to treat her right, go for it. But shewants the whole thing, the marriage, the babies. She doesn’t say it, but I see how she is with my daughter. If you’re not absolutely sure you’re about that life, don’t waste her time or yours.”

Santino flushed. “Are we still talking about me or about you?”

“Both I guess.” The melodic notes of a slow song drifted between them from the bar. Bobby’s voice, deep and smooth, had always seemed suited for singing to music exactly like this. But chords of regret, of quiet pain, were woven in between his next words. “I got married too young.”

The words hit Santino in a tender spot. This is exactly what everyone told him he should feel, that it was expected he would feel, even from Vanessa. To hear it from Bobby, who’d always seemed so mature, so wise, born knowing exactly what he wanted out of life, was disturbing.

“I started seeing Zoe because we were together at the hospital all the time. She was fun, she was sweet. The bangin’ body didn’t hurt, and the sex was crazy. But the truth is, she just wore me down. My mother loved her. And together they just pushed andpushed.” He leaned forward, balancing his elbows on his knees, his face and his voice strained.

Santino didn’t interrupt. He let Bobby get this out, unsure if an open moment like this would come again. But old guilt pressed on his shoulders, the way it had for years. If Santino had spoken up back then…

“Van was the only one who told me not to go through with it if I wasn’t one-hundred percent sure I was ready. That’s why Zoe doesn’t like her, because my dumb ass told her what Vanessa said. Everything was good for a while until a few years ago. Neither of us were happy. I worked a lot, and she resented that. The sex…” Bobby made a thumbs down that went lower and lower. “Then I came up here for that medical conference to present a paper. I met someone. A representative of a company that makes artificial hearts. Ling Wu.”

Holy shit. Santino was stunned. Was Bobby serious? He was ready to get pissed the fuck off. This man had threatened to beat his ass for supposedly doing the same thing.

Bobby must have seen the growing anger on his face. Quickly, he insisted, “I didn’t sleep with her, I swear. Didn’t kiss her, didn’t lay a hand on her. But there was just something so lovely and genuine when we talked. I felt like I’d never had that same connection with Zoe. And I started to wonder, what if I had just waited? What if I had given myself time to figure out who I was outside the operating room, outside of my family, and what they expected of me?

“I went home and told Zoe I thought maybe we should take a break. I said we were both obviously not in synch anymore, but she said absolutely not. Maybe we needed something more to bring us closer together. Something like…” The sentence hung in the air, dangling by a thread that was weak and ready to break.

“Like a baby,” Santino guessed. Suddenly, he felt so sorry for Bobby, maybe even a little for Zoe.

“I’m not saying I didn’t want my daughter. She’s my world. And Zoe has been the best wife and mother a man could possibly ask for. She’d do anything for us, and I’d do anything for them. I didn’t have my dad for reasons beyond his control, and I damn sure won’t be walking out on my child.” Determination stiffened his shoulders as he stared straight ahead.

“So, you and Ling. Is she the reason you planned to come up here with Vanessa?”

Bobby nodded, not looking especially proud of his answer. “Ling and I kept in touch. I knew she was seeing Virgil, she knows I’m married. I was hoping to reconnect at the show or anywhere else she’d agreed to, even if it was in passing. When Zoe invited herself, I didn’t tell her about Ling specifically, but we do have an agreement that we get a weekend pass.”

“A pass? You mean you get to fuck someone else?” Santino asked derisively.

“We both get one. If Zoe meets someone, she’s free to do whatever she wants, and so am I. It’s honest. No foul. And when we go home, we go home with each other.”

Santino wasn’t sure how to respond except with the truth. “Sorry, but that doesn’t sound honest to me if you didn’t say you’ve already caught feelings for someone. I’m not saying leave Zoe for Ling because she’s with Virg. But if you’re that unhappy, why stay? You can still see your daughter.”

Bobby shook his head with a short laugh. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“See if I don’t.” Santino waited while Bobby pressed his fingertips together, apparently searching for the right words.

“People would perceive you differently if you’d been the one to leave Vanessa. Your family already had wealth. But a man who leaves his wife after she helped build him into a success is a walking cliché. Especially a Black man who leaves her for a non-Black woman. I don’t want to be seen as that guy.”

“Alright. It probably would look different if I did it. I get it, you don’t want to fit a stereotype. But fuck what it looks like. That’s not a good reason to stay and make each other unhappy.”

“The agreement is the next best thing,” Bobby said resolutely, determination written across his features.

Slowly, Santino replied, “You didn’t ask for my opinion, so feel free to tell me to fuck off, but I think that’s a mistake.”

“Okay. Fuck off.” Bobby’s grin was more genuine this time, even if still sardonic. “You worry about your own mistakes. And I’d like it if we kept this between you and me.”

A soft alarm went off somewhere in the back of Santino’s head at the ask to keep all of this from Vanessa. This was supposed to be their fresh start, nothing but honesty from both of themfrom now on. Still, this was Bobby’s life and Bobby’s marriage. Whatever happened between him and Zoe was on them.

“Alright.” Santino pulled an imaginary zipper across his lips. “She won’t hear about Ling from me.”

23

I KNOW WHAT BOYS LIKE

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