Page 104 of Meet Me in Montreal

Bobby didn’t bat an eye. “Santino’s mother. I know. I saw her in the hallway. What did she say?”

Vanessa smirked and shook her head, watching him kiss and cuddle his daughter.

“She told me Santino’s leaving town. She wanted me to go snatch him up and somehow convince him to stay,” Vanessa murmured, clasping her hands together on her lap. “I might have said some thangs.”

“That’s okay. You know what season we’re in, Van.”

“The season of honesty,” Vanessa sighed. “I wish I could just move on to the season where I change my name and don’t know nobody.”

“That one comes after New Year’s.” Bobby pushed her head the way he used to when he was twelve. “Maybe you should listen to her for a change, Fivehead.”

Vanessa blinked at his statement. “Listen to her? I don’t think Santino even wants to be together anymore and even if he did, what about you guys?”

“What about us?” Bobby asked.

“We don’t know how long Zoe will be out of commission. You need me here, to help you with Everly.”

He shook his head with a brisk sigh. “Van, no. You’ve already spent years taking care of me. Of course, you’re welcome to stay with us as long as you want, but I can handle this. And Lady Marmalade will help pick up the slack. Go.” Then he gave her another one of his classic easy grins, like the old Bobby. “Now contemplate your life while I take a shower. Since youarehere right now, the next diaper change is on you.”

Depositing Everly back on her lap, he went inside. Vanessa sat pondering Lina’s orders and Bobby’s advice. Then she took Everly to give her her bath and settle her into bed. Down the hall, she took her own shower in the en suite guest bathroom towash off the film of sweat. What didn’t wash off so easily was the heaviness of what Lina had put on her.

Suddenly exhausted, she didn’t bother moisturizing, and let the twists remain free. Sliding into bed, sleep still eluded her despite the tiredness. It refused to offer her refuge from the image of Santino’s face and what he might say or do if she were to try to see him or call him.

If she did try to contact him, would he see it as emotional game playing or trauma bonding or something else? She turned to seek out Auntie Belle’s photo on the nightstand without thinking, only to remember with that little soul-crushing sensation that it wasn’t there. It was one of the many things she’d lost in that fire.

What had been the purpose of those candles? When she’d lit them every night since returning to New York, she’d wished for clarity, for purpose. Freedom. All the things she’d lost had been things she ultimately hadn’t really wanted, if she were being honest with herself.

She didn’t want to make a name for herself career-wise as the lawyer who helped a monster like Claremore walk free to do more damage. If it hadn’t been Claremore, Mancini would have asked her to defend someone else just like him or worse.

That house? Yes, it had been her first home with her husband and there’d been a lot of loving there. She did mourn the beautiful things she’d lost, not only that favorite photo of Belle, but her books, her stones. The only one she had left was the rose quartz heart she’d bought at Marcie’s shop in Montreal and had been carrying in the pocket of her shorts, keeping its energy close.

Otherwise, the house had also been witness to some of the hardest moments of her life. She couldn’t have stayed there even if it had remained intact. It was a tribute to death, a mausoleum filled with everything she no longer wanted or needed to keep.

Pride. Shame. Guilt. Her secret belief that she’d never be enough. She couldn’t keep carrying those either, but the flames couldn’t burn them away entirely. They were burrowed too deeply at her core. Giving them up was a decision she’d have to make. She’d have to make it right now.

Suddenly, she knew without having to rely on anyone else’s wisdom or warnings what she wanted, what she truly needed. It was Santino. The man who’d wanted her from Day One, who’d loved her, fought for her, accepted she was doing her best and still wanted her even after she’d showed him her worst. There had never been anyone else for her and never would be. It was Santino.

Only and always, Santino.

36

ENDLESS LOVE

SANTINO

Everly really was a cute baby.

Santino watched Vanessa bounce her niece on her lap as twilight descended on the quiet road in Chappaqua. He’d had to park in front of a home that was already dark, far enough so she wouldn’t spot him but close enough to drink her in.

Yes, like a fucking ghoul, he was still haunting Vanessa. He knew he didn’t need to protect her anymore. That other Spallini brother and Claremore himself were no longer a problem for her. He didn’t need to watch the news to know that for a fact.

Antoinette’s husband, with the backing of his family, the Andersens, was also not a threat. A meeting had taken place, and an understanding had been reached. It hadn’t mattered to Andersen that Claremore’s real target was Vanessa, and his wife was merely collateral damage. Fortunately, he’d been very interested in helping solve their mutual problem, since getting to someone of Claremore’s status had taken someone equally well-positioned. Once Claremore and Spallini had been acquired, Santino and Dom had taken over from there.

Why had Claremore ordered the hit, after he’d been acquitted? Because winning had only taught him he’d get away with murder again. After that, Claremore’s grown sons were proving incapable of fending off the Andersen Conglomerate. Their father’s empire would be ripped apart, devoured and digested by that fanged beast within the week.

Even though it was an active crime scene, Santino had managed to gain access to their house to retrieve the lockbox with Vanessa’s important documents to pass on to Bobby. Seeing the place had gutted him. If he hadn’t been there that day…he didn’t want to think about it.

He saw the carnage when he tried to sleep, and the memory of it was so much worse than anything he’d ever dreamed. The skies of that dreamworld were now a bruised sunset. Vermillion now painted his hands when he looked at them while awake. The taint colored his skin when he looked at his face in the mirror.