Page 25 of The Christmas Gift
“What’s the matter?”
She shifted but refused to look at him, instead, hugging his waist to stay close. How ironic that she was holding on to Cor, felt close to him, yet panicked at what he was offering. Perhaps it was the permeance a relationship reflected. Once committed, she couldn’t simply leave without someone being hurt.
“I can feel the tension in your body, Ivy.”
She squeezed her eyes shut. He was so attuned to her already. Was this how her parent’s relationship was, bittersweet?
“I was thinking about my parents.” She swallowed. “Us.”
“You don’t think they’ll be happy about the baby?”
“I don’t know that they wouldn’t be,” she said honestly. “My parents are committed to each other. Don’t get me wrong, I never wanted for anything.” Nothing material anyway.
His soothing strokes along her shoulders eased her anxiety as she recalled them traveling while she took part in science fairs, spelling bees, or soccer—the latter she’d done because nothing else had won their undivided attention.
“I understand,” he said.
How could he when his father had been present emotionally and physically?
He paused for a long time as if choosing his next words. “Do you think they’ll approve of me?”
She knew what he was asking in his delicate way. There were lots of parents who were grounded in old-fashioned beliefs about marriage, children. She’d even heard debates between her parents and their friends regarding interracial relationships. Truth was,shenever had that particular conversation with them—there were many other issues regarding race that consumed her parent’s conversations.
Ivy shook her head. “You’re intelligent—my family prizes intellectual aptitude. Handsome—”
“You think I’m handsome?” He lifted his head to watch her, a grin curving his lips.
“I misspoke.” She poked him in the side. “Yeah, you wouldn’t scare the congregation on a Sunday.”
He laughed.
His earlier question made her wonder about his dad. Would Arthur accept the baby…her?
“I don’t think my parents would notice a boyfriend, much less if he was pink.”
“You’re exaggerating.”
“I assure you, I’m not. They care that I’m successful, that I wouldn’t embarrass them.” Cor’s hand stilled along her shoulders. She instantly missed his gentle strokes. “When I went to college, it took them a full month to notice I was gone. When they realized I had gotten into an ivy league college, they celebrated by going on another extended vacation, as if they had done this great job raising metheyneeded to celebrate.”
She didn’t know what had pissed her off most, them blatantly taking credit for her hard work, or not realizing she’d left the house for a month. She had been invisible.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. They love me in their own way, but they are not affectionate.” She had never wanted for anything material. Never had to worry about food or clothes, or if she could join ballet. Money they had. “They thought a baby was the natural progression for their marriage, but while they were cut out to be married, they weren’t as devoted to raising children.”
“Do you see them often?”
“Dad is a software engineer. My mother is a sought-after photographer in the wildlife industry. These last few years they’ve been traveling more.”
He wrapped his arms around her shoulders. “Are they why you think I’ll change my mind about wanting you and the baby?”
Her gaze held his. “They thought they wanted a baby too and—”
“I’m not your parents, Ivy.”
“I know.”
“At some point, you’ll have to trust…believe I want both of you.” He wiped the tear from the corner of her eyes. “I’ll wait if that’s what you need, but waiting doesn’t mean I’ll stop asking for all the things I had growing up. I realize we see family differently, yet everything you’ve told me says you want a loving home for our child. I can’t be angry at you for wanting what’s best.” He cupped her chin. “My father told me that sometimes, to move forward, we have to bridge the past. Your parents weren’t emotionally invested when raising you. Perhaps they’ll be better grandparents.”
