Page 83 of How to Date a Prince

“And… Thomas Golden?” she asks at last.

“Thomas. What about him?” I lean back against the bench, trying to look totally relaxed when I have approximately zero chill about Thomas. Even though I know better.

“What exactly happened? I mean…” She glances away in an effort to compose herself. “Aside from the obvious. Why him? Of all the men out there?”

“Distraction. An opposites-attract sort of thing.” I cough. Then a shiver ripples up my spine as I imagine the silk of his skin against mine, the comfort of lying in his arms. The amazing sound of his laugh and how special he makes me feel. It’s far more than distraction. Even thinking about him makes me light-headed. Or maybe that’s the head injury talking.

“Right.”

“Promise not to tell anyone?”

She rolls her eyes. “Of course I won’t.”

I hesitate. Even though she’s putting on a stoic front, I check in. “Are you okay hearing this…?”

Katie nods, impatient. She twists her hair, waiting for me to continue, her lips slightly pursed.

“I… was really starting to like him. A lot. A scary amount sort of a lot. Like, unreasonably.”

“And?”

“And?” My eyes widen. I gesture at the looming palace behind us, at the bustling city beyond. “And.And my life doesn’t belong to me. They have dibs, remember?”

She nods again, looking caught like she’s about to say something, then thinks better of it.

“Now what?” I ask after her expression. “Tell me.”

“Thomas Golden’s been on his social media, saying he’s going to another anti-monarchy protest next weekend. I guess the campaign against the King decided to take advantage of all the media interest in the palace. Err, in you, specifically.”

I blink. Unable to keep the hurt from my face, I clear my throat. Twice. “It’s his life. He can do what he wants. He doesn’t need to explain himself to me. He can go to every anti-monarchy rally across the country. I totally don’t mind. It’s absolutely fine. Perfect, actually.”

Katie looks at me like she knows better.

“Especially after I kept pushing him away. And…then he shut me down. Because I acted like an arse. With how I treated you, actually. And then after the accident… he was there and I was there and then the real world showed up.” There’s a twist in my chest. I smooth my jeans with a hand, looking down. I deflate like a party balloon still hanging on a week after the party. “I still miss him. But this is exactly why he put an end to it.”

Katie’s quiet beside me. She shifts. “Oh.”

“Oh.” I lift my head. “But it doesn’t make the end hurt any less, I have to say.”

Katie squeezes my hand again. Birds flit past. The afternoon is warm, everything fresh around us like some misplaced optimism. I crave a rain cloud or two, even a storm.

A familiar fatigue starts to creep in. Fatigue and confusion over Thomas and unexpected hurt. “I need to go lie down,” I admit wryly. “But—would you please tell me if anything else comes out other than rumors?”

Something doubtless my father has heard all the rumors in the news too. The idea is totally mortifying. And if he hasn’t, he will find out when the series airs.

ChapterThirty

It’s Friday night, and Anne’s back from her summer adventures for a couple of weeks before heading back to Cambridge for the year. She suggests a night in away from the chaos of the media storm beyond the palace walls to watch a film with her and Gav and Katie. I can’t remember the last time we had a night doing something all together. Then, I remember—it was the night I met Thomas in the bar, when my mouth proved to be the liability I always imagined it to be. And the time before that was New Year’s, a disaster for the ages, when Anne was convinced I was about to kiss Gav after too much to drink.

Once Anne returns home, she shows up an hour later at my room with a giant box of nail varnish. And now we’re settled by the windows at a table in my large room overlooking the gardens. Camden’s in cat loaf pose on the windowsill.

“You can try this if you want.” Anne offers a crimson nail varnish from her collection, giving me a tentative look. “Or this one?” The next selection is lavender, which is one of my favorites.

Since the accident, I haven’t put too much thought into my appearance. I shower. I shave. I mostly live in pajamas at home, like I wear now, and athletic wear for the physio. All of the fashion and all of the clothes I love so much remain in the closet. It’s safer to keep them under wraps. I’d love to blame my wardrobe for my problems, but even Lauren’s campaign of ceaseless greige couldn’t prevent me from falling for Thom.

My lips twitch as I consider her. She holds up the two bottles while I waffle.

“I don’t know if I have the coordination to paint my nails.” Confession time. Which is true, but also, putting nail varnish on links back to the old Auggie from uni and, more recently, with Thomas. There must be a way to purge the man from my memories. Except I haven’t got the foggiest clue how to do that. All the usual distractions—horses, dancing, hijinks—are currently off the table. “I mean, I haven’t tried.”

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