Page 91 of An Unexpected Kind of Love

What if I went to America to find him? To tell him how I feel?

I can’t decide if that’s terribly romantic or terribly creepy. Probably terribly creepy. Let the poor man put his life back in order with his family. Obviously, they’re the most important people in his life. He has to put them first. And audition for his breakout role.

Plus, going after Blake means taking a very long flight and I nearly died from nerves on the plane last year going to Berlin from London. Shit, I barely made it onto the plane. Going to New York or wherever Blake might be would be the end of me.

His life’s in America, Aubrey. Sometimes you just have to learn to let go.

As the afternoon stretches on, I continue shelving books in the Classics and Collectibles section. Gemma’s tackling Young Adult two bookcases over. The curtains whir away in the washer in the kitchen. I continue to torture myself over Blake. If only I had a magic bean to bring him back.

The things you do to yourself.

“Knock knock,” calls yet another familiar male voice from the cordoned doorway, once more open to the bright day outside for a breeze.

It’s not Eli or Blake, but Ryan.

Ryan?

It’s been a while since my friend’s been by the shop on his own. My stomach tightens as I think back on the awkwardness in the pub with Eli last night. It feels like a lifetime ago.

As I turn, it’s definitely Ryan in his wheelchair at the door. He’s all dark hair and friendly smile. His arms are well-muscled, as evidenced by that form-fitting white T-shirt, from wheeling himself around London, which he says is a good workout and that he’s still getting around on wheels like he did before.

“Hey!” I say with surprise.

He peers curiously into the shop. “I was hoping to buy a book but I see you’re still closed.”

“For you, anything. Though I still have plenty of inventory in boxes and I can’t guarantee that I’ll have what you’re after right away. But I’ll find it,” I assure him with a grin, opening the cordon and waving him in. “Sorry for the treachery of boxes and books everywhere. I wasn’t thinking about making this shop accessible while we put everything back on the shelves from the filming.”

“Heard about that,” Ryan says. “Things are coming together well?”

“Yeah.” I nod. “Maybe.”

He chuckles. “Don’t worry if you can’t find the book right away, either.”

“What’re you after?”

“Something hopeful.”

“Hopeful… What sort of hopeful?”

“Something to restore my faith in humanity.” Ryan grins, a familiar and warm sight. “Surprise me.”

I purse my lips, looking at him thoughtfully. “How do you feel about queer romance? I’ve been reading some interesting stuff lately.”

“Go on.” Ryan perks up. “That’s outside my usual. Exactly what I need. And they’re good?”

“They’re fab,” I assure Ryan, with a smile that comes from I don’t know where. “How aboutRed, White & Royal BlueandBoyfriend Material? A couple of recent queer romances.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Gemma’s broad grin as she pretends not to listen to our exchange, while I likewise pretend not to notice her. I go to the shelf and retrieve a copy of each. I pass them to Ryan.

“How much do I owe you?” he asks.

I wave him off. “Nothing. Honestly. Consider it part of your birthday gift.”

“Aubrey, how can you run a business like this?” Ryan chastises me good-naturedly.

“Ugh. Let’s not even go there.” He’s got a point and it stings.

I think of Blake then. Of his talk of sales strategies and the nonsense I’ve never thought of. Which leads me straight into other memories. Is he missing the bean of the day? Missing me?

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