Page 89 of An Unexpected Kind of Love

We’re outside another pub at the corner while we wait for the light. We’re halfway between my place and his. “Want to go for a drink?”

“Didn’t we just have one?”

And yet we go to the traditional-looking pub, with hanging baskets that overflow with a cascade of flowers. Pubgoers gather on the patio and pavement, drinking. Others are sat at the picnic tables.

Inside, at least it’s warm, and we grab pints at the bar before finding a corner to stand together.

“I miss you, Aubs,” Eli murmurs.

I splutter my ale mid-sip, coughing.

He winces. “Sorry. Maybe I’m just doing the whole grass is always greener thing, like Ryan said. Idealizing the past.”

“Probably,” I agree, recovering quickly. He ought to warn someone before trying something like that. “I mean, I wouldn’t go with my judgment on this one, ’cause I didn’t know you were unhappy till you told me you were leaving.”

Finding some strange strength, I dare meet his gaze, all silvery blue in this light. I hold my breath.

Eli’s mouth jerks down slightly, and he looks crestfallen. “I know. I’m so sorry. I wish… God, Aubrey, I was such an idiot. I mean, I realize now I should have brought things up well before getting to that point. It’s one of my biggest regrets, doing that.”

“Really?” I say wryly. “It wasn’t even a month later after we broke up before you were with Ryan. If you weren’t already.”

He’s quiet, looking sad. “I was faithful to you, Aubs.”

“Maybe physically, but in spirit?” I retort.

God, the wine and ale combo is making me sassy tonight. Also, I’m a man who really has no fucks left to give. And, frankly, I didn’t grill him enough back then, too heartbroken at first, then upset after he was with Ryan so soon, I kept away for a while. Till the shocking newness of my singledom and their relationship wore off, the sting of being so easily replaced.

At least Eli has the decency to redden like a tomato.

Weirdly at that moment, unbidden, I think of Blake. Does he still think of me at all? Or was I just someone he could pass the time with in London?

“You were always special to me. You still are.” Eli’s gaze doesn’t waver.

“Maybe you’re just jealous.”

“Maybe I am.”

“Wanting what you couldn’t have.”

“Possibly.”

We consider each other. And drink. I set my glass down on the small bar in the corner where we stand, between dark-stained oak panels topped with stained-glass partitions for privacy. The roar of laughter from the next group of pub patrons spills over, light-hearted and easy.

“All right. So Iwasjealous when I saw you with Blake.”

Satisfied for that one victory, I nod. “How’d that feel?”

“Rather shit, if I’m honest.”

“Imagine how it would feel if it was your best friend.”

Eli reddens again. He touches my arm lightly. Goose bumps rise immediately as I glower at him. Stupid body and its betrayal.

“It would be worse,” he admits.

“Exactly.”

“Aubrey… I’m really sorry for hurting you the way I did. I handled things poorly. I hurt you and Ryan and I feel terrible.”

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