Page 84 of Hexes and Exes

Ashenvale admitted as much in his tomb, but I didn’t quite believe him. He was a lying bag of shit when he was alive. Why would things be different just because he was a wasted pile ofbones? But Ambrose’s confirmation only stings more because somehow, my mother and I were both cursed.

“And apparently, the antidote was there in her words all this time. At least, according to Fitz. Love conquers all, right?” Ambrose sounds as convinced as I feel.

“Why didn’t you see this before?” My question comes out more aggressive than I intend.

Ambrose angles his head and levels me with an intense stare. “This is magic that has been attached to this grimoire for hundreds of years. I wasn’t looking for it. It’s basically woven into these pages. Without Piper’s suggestion to check the book for a spell, I still wouldn’t have felt it. Do you feel better now? Any other failings you’d like to point out?”

I flop down on the couch. Once again, I wish I was home, wallowing by myself in self-pity.

“I guess this explains why my mother was so fucking demanding about me having a baby.” Roman grinds his teeth and sits on the couch opposite me. “As if I would ever do the ritual.”

“What does it matter? We all say we aren’t going to have kids or won’t do this ritual to pass on our curses, but then what? Does it change anything? We’re still cursed. The coven council is still in power when they obviously know about all this. We’re bound to the coven. Do we just hold this information close and life goes on like nothing’s happened?”

Except lots of things have happened. Knowing I have to do this ritual to pass along my curse makes it all so much worse. What if Ava had a baby? My baby. Fuck, I can picture her smiling down at a cherubic child, holding its hand as it gets older, giving it so much love.

The image of me at her side every step of the way hits like a freight train. There’s no way I can pass my curse on to an innocent child. Bitter laughter huffs out. None of that canhappen. Besides the fact that I’ve pushed her away, again and again. Even if I wanted to be with her, I would be a danger to Ava and any child. My curse isn’t going away. Eventually, I’ll lose even the tiniest tether to humanity. No one deserves to be tied to the monster I’m turning into.

“Knowledge is power. The coven council knows this. That’s why they’ve been keeping secrets all these years. If we out them, we take away that control. Besides, eventually, the curses will rebound onto them.”

“No one cares but us. Those with a curse. Why would the rest of the coven give a shit that the founding families who have run this town for centuries are having in-fighting?” I let my head fall back against the couch, staring up at the ornate crown molding.

“The council cares.” Ambrose’s words are matter of fact.

“So what, you want to call out their lies at the masquerade?” I lift my head to look at the other two when there’s silence for too long. Ambrose and Roman are staring at each other, smiles on their faces.

“It’s not the worst idea.” Ambrose shrugs.

“Just hop up on stage while the musicians are taking a piss break and make an announcement?” Roman grins.

“I still don’t think ninety-five percent of the coven cares. But do whatever you want. Can we leave now?” I’m done. With the coven, with the plots, with the fucking secrets. I push off the couch and make my way to the front door. Roman chases after me, grabbing my arm and stopping me before I walk outside. Ambrose is right there next to him.

“What?” I snap.

“We need to talk about Ava,” Roman says.

“She’s good for you,” Ambrose adds.

“Ava deserves happiness, and that’s not something I can give her.” I haven’t told Roman or Ambrose what’s been going onbetween the two of us, so I don’t even know why they’re bringing her up. “Besides, she’s just a friend.”

Ambrose cocks his head. “Right. Don’t bullshit a bullshitter. I can smell it a mile away. You’re so fucking starry-eyed over that woman. Why are you pretending there’s nothing going on between the two of you?”

“Because there isn’t.” At least not anymore. I ended things. Spectacularly. I’ll be lucky if Ava wants to speak to me ever again. Especially after she went into my burned-out shell of a house, found my old childhood photos and restored them. Maiden, Mother, Crone, I’m an asshole.

“We all saw the two of you together. There’s no point in lying.” Roman crosses his arms.

I wrack my brain. Did they actually see the two of us having sex? There’s no way. Although, I did kiss her at the Winter Carnival, and at the club, but those were both away from everyone. Then it registers that’s not what he’s talking about.

“The two of you are drawn to each other. You giggle around her. Giggle.” Roman’s brows lift like he can’t believe it.

“I don’t giggle.”

“When you’re with Ava, you do.” Ambrose leans against the staircase banister, his arms crossed and a smug look on his face.

He’s right. Ava makes everything better. When I see her, I start smiling involuntarily. My curse eases, and the world makes sense in a way it didn’t moments before. When I’m around her, I laugh harder than I have in years. That doesn’t mean it’s meant to be.

“She deserves better.”

Ambrose makes a contemplative sound. “And Josephine probably deserves better than your brother here. Let’s face it, all women deserve better than what we serve up to them over the years. But have you asked her what she wants? Did you give her the option of making her own decision, or did you decide for her,since you know best.” Ambrose holds his fingers up in quotes over the last part.

---