Page 80 of Hexes and Exes

“You don’t have to let this curse rule your life.”

Bram finally turns to look at me again. “What about you? You’re so afraid of being forgotten that you never buck the rules, never push back. Maybe some people deserve to be cut out of your life. It wouldn’t be your loss; it would be theirs.” His words bite, but I’m not sure if he’s chastising me or angry at the people who have treated me like crap. They hit too close to home, though.

If no one remembers you, if you have no impact on someone’s life, then what’s the point? I yank my sweatshirt over my head and jab my finger in the air as I get close to him.

“And maybe you use this curse as an excuse to keep everyone at a distance. You’re cursed, Bram. Well, so am I. Big fucking deal. Should we just hole up in our houses and ignore the rest of the world? I’ll hide until the world forgets I exist and any last pieces of you disappear into a darkness until you’re unrecognizable?” I shake my head, frustrated and heartbroken.

Bram backs up, like he’s afraid of me. When he’s a foot taller and who knows how many pounds heavier.

“You don’t want to admit you’re afraid. Well, welcome to the club. Guess what. We’re all scared of this shit. It’s hard and makes you feel exposed. But the other option is worse. Never having someone understand you, be there to support you, or laugh at your dumb jokes.”

“I don’t laugh at your jokes.” Bram’s words drip with sadness.

“You think I’m hilarious,” I huff out with a sad laugh. I feel like I’m fighting with myself. That I’m trying to convince himthat he’s worth the effort. That even if he has darkness in him, he should enjoy life while he can.

Bram searches my face, and sadness and regret lashes at my chest. His emotions. He leans down, his forehead touching mine and my stomach flips. Did I get through to him?

“My curse is a darkness that means I’m losing my humanity. I’m fading. The person I used to be is slowly being pulled into quicksand. The darkness clings like an invasive vine, slowly blocking out all light, and I can’t break free. More and more of them tangle around me until sometimes I feel like it’s squeezing the life out of me.” He’s short of breath, his gray eyes full of anguish.

I slide my hand up his cheek, his skin warm and rough with a shadow of a beard. “Let me be a lifeline. I’ll keep you from getting sucked down.”

Bram lifts his head. I feel the ghost of his lips over my forehead before he steps away. My hand falls from his face and the distance grows between us.

“Or be pulled down with me.” He sighs heavily. “Whatever this was is over. I’m done. Go. Get out of here.” He stares at a point on the wall behind me. “Leave. Go on.”

“Are you trying to Benji me?” I joke, even though my heart is breaking.

“What?” His head snaps up, and he looks at me, confusion wrinkling his forehead.

“You know when you send the dog away for their own good.”

He almost laughs, but then his jaw hardens, and he takes another step back. “See, here’s the thing. Why would you say nice things to me? Try to make me laugh. You think it’s funny that I’m treating you like a dog. You need a little self-respect.” The darkness is back in his aura, and he refuses to look me in the eyes.

I sigh and nod. “Right. Hey, no need for me to come in for any more planning for the party. Everything should be ready to go. We can go back to being strangers after this shit is over. You won’t even have to try to forget about me. The curse will take care of that for you.”

He opens his mouth like he’s going to say something but then he seems to think better of it. “You were really great with the planning. When everything goes off without a hitch, it’ll all be because of you.” There’s something so sad when Bram looks at me, but I doubt he ever realizes.

I leave him behind, standing over that damn doll.

34

AVA

I’ve been back to work for the past few days, moping and generally hating life. I’m back in my dumpy clothes, with no make–up. I look exactly how I feel, which is like crap. Every time I think about Bram, my heart aches in my chest like it’s actually broken in there. I’ve been ignoring calls from my friends. Stellan is the only one I’ve seen, which I know is dangerous, but I don’t want to talk to anyone.

Barty left the office about an hour ago and I’ve been doom scrolling on my phone ever since. I should be working, but I can’t focus on anything. A message pops up from Piper and I swipe it away.

The door to the office swings open.

“I knew you were avoiding me.” Piper glares at me from beneath the hood of her puffy parka. The sun is still up, but the sky is so cloudy and gray it’s hard to tell. Piper’s cheeks are red from the cold, or maybe the wind.

“I’m not avoiding you. I’m talking to you right now.” I turn off the video of some guy inappropriately fondling chicken before he cooks it and toss my phone down.

“I mean this past week.” Piper slides into the chair in front of my desk. Her voice is soft but firm.

I flop back and sink down into my chair. “I’m just having a bad week.”

“What’s going on?”