Page 91 of Let Me Say It Again

“Why—” My voice failed me, cracking at the end of the word.Come on, voice, don’t fail me now.I tried again. “Why wait until the end of the night? Maybe we’re wrong.”

Shit. We both knew that Mark was going to come over here pissed as could be. I also knew that it was my fault. Just as it was my fault that Red wouldn’t get the investment he needed.

Why couldn’t I be more like Sherrilyn and know my place?

I’d always felt like I’d been good at that, knowing that my place was nowhere the Lyons were. Least of all Red. A man like Red didn’t belong with, or end up with, a woman like me. Maybe negative thoughts weren’t good, but it was the truth, and I was nothing if not a realist. It’d kept me from getting hurt again and feeling like my heart was being split in two.

But somewhere along the way I’d gotten comfortable and given reality the middle finger. And it’d backfired big time. Or it would. I knew it would.

I was a screwup.

I always had been.

Even something as good as this I had to mess up.

“Mark,” Red acknowledged, straightening his back, seemingly prepared to tell him he knew all about our little lie.

Mark held a hand up. Okay, so we were skipping pleasantries. “What were you thinking?” he asked, his voice low, but laced with disappointment and disapproval, two things I’d heard in a man’s voice before.

It felt like a ton of bricks were sitting on my chest, and I was struggling to breathe.

“You’re going to have to be more specific in your question. I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Red answered respectfully. He knew, but he wasn’t going to be the one to say it first.

Shit. Red was so smart.

Red was one of the most intelligent men I’d ever met.

He wasn’t just book smart, he was street smart. He knew business and read people better than they read themselves. He had a sixth sense for most things and his gut never steered him wrong.

He was a unicorn.

And as much as I’d wished I was the girl who wound up with the unicorn, happy and proud she was lucky enough to land someone like Red, deep down I knew better.

“I overheard Jade talking to one of the bachelors. You two aren’t really engaged,” Mark said, his eyes shifting between us.

My back stiffened, and my palms were the sweatiest they’d ever been. If I could’ve wrung them out, they would’ve made a puddle of water right here on the venue’s meticulous flooring.

Who was I kidding? I didn’t belong here.

I swallowed as best as I could, trying to get past the giant lump in my throat. That still wasn’t as hard as what I was about to do, though.

I turned slightly and placed my hand that was holding my clutch against Red’s chest, pulling away from his embrace. “I should go,” I said, my eyes stinging. Wait, was I going to cry? That would have been a first in a very, very long time. I didn’t cry. I was dead inside, remember? And I knew what this was. I knew it was fake. Knowing something cognitively and feeling something emotionally were two completely different things, though, and my head was at odds with my heart. It was the worst situation to be in.

“Don’t—”

I widened my eyes, silently telling him to stop, and it seemed he caught on. “The event was lovely. Please thank Sherrilyn for me,” I told Mark before walking away.

Let’s be real, he probably never would, but it was the polite thing to say and it wasn’t even about being polite this time, it was the truth. The woman was too good not to thank. She was smart and taught me more than a few things I’d never realized I needed to know.

This was the last time I’d see Mark, though, and I had a feeling earlier had been the last time I’d see Sherrilyn as well.

I would’ve thought perhaps our paths would have crossed later at some point, but they never had before Red, and I wasn’t naïve enough to think they would again. This wasn’t my world, plain and simple.

Before I left the room and Red was out of sight, I turned back around for a second, a millisecond, really, and allowed myself one last look at him. He’d hate me after this, but it didn’t matter because our time had ended anyway.

Time was like money. You had it until you didn’t. And my time was up.

Walking out of the venue with my head held high, I pulled my phone out of my purse, a brave face on, even though the only thing I wanted was to go home and cry in my pillow. Something I never thought I’d do in my life.

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