Page 87 of Textbook Defense

Rowan hummed.

Jordy thought about his lonely hotel bed with its generic everything that would smell like laundry soap and the bad sleep ahead of him, and missed his kid so much he ached. “Send me a picture of her?”

“You must have a million of those on your phone,” Rowan pointed out.

Which, yes, obviously Jordy did, but none of them were current. “No, I mean—I just really need to see her.” It wouldn’t be a kiss good night, but it would do.

“You want me to sneak into your kid’s room in the middle of the night to take a picture of her sleeping?” When put like that, it did sound a little silly. “Bugger that. I’m not risking her waking up.”

There was an edge to his tone that suggested…. “Hard night?” Jordy tried to say it lightly, inject some sympathetic humor, because he knew those nights.

“Fuck you, Shaw.”

Jordy gaped. What?

“Hard—my whole evening was a humiliating shitshow. I told you I had a staff meeting tonight days ago. But instead of finding alternative care, you left me to deal with it. Showing up with someone else’s kid to a staff meeting isn’t exactly a move that impresses the boss.”

Guilt gnawed at Jordy’s gut. He knew he needed to find someone else, but the threat of a looming trade put another kink the plan. If he was traded south, Jordy would have to do the whole nanny hunt all over again—unless he managed to find someone licensed to work in Canada and the US and willing to move at a moment’s notice. Hell, he would probably have to find someone new even if he got traded to Ottawa, their closest rival. Most nannies weren’t looking to relocate.

“I know I need to find a nanny,” he conceded. “It’s complicated—”

“That and a million dollars will get me an apartment on Yonge,” Rowan snapped, “but it’s not exactly a consolation when I’ve got a cranky kid whining for ice cream and another story because she’s up past nine because you can’t get your head out of your ass.”

Jordy inhaled sharply. “Fuck you too.” He could understand Rowan being tired or stressed, but that wasn’t fair. “Do you think I like having to deal with this? Having to find a nanny on such short notice? Trusting a stranger with your kid isn’t easy. And I might have to start the search all over again—”

“All the more reason to get someone now. Jesus, Jordy, if you might get traded tomorrow and need to start the search over, then someone good enough for the after-school shift shouldn’t be hard to find.” A direct hit with merit, so naturally it stung worse than a baseless accusation. “And don’t think I haven’t noticed your bullshit excuses. You’re dragging your feet on purpose and refusing to hire someone.”

Okay, maybe Jordy was being a little overly critical now that he had Janice and Rowan for the gold standards of nanny care, but—“What do you want me to do? Kaira is the most important person in my life. I’m not going to trust her with just anybody!”

“Are you fucking kidding me? You basically picked me up off the street and gavemethe job.”

Jordy reeled. He hadn’t—he’d already known Kaira was safe with Rowan, Kaira had alreadyknownRowan. It wasn’t—

He hadn’t given Rowan the job becausehewanted to keep Rowan around—

“And now that I’m reminding you of our original deal, you’re trying to change the terms.”

Finally Jordy found his tongue. “I’m sorry it’s so difficult for you living in my house, eating my food, driving my car, having everything taken care of—”

“Everything exceptyour kid, you mean?”

All the air left Jordy’s lungs in a rush, as if Rowan had boarded him.

His whole life, he’d only wanted to be good at two things: hockey and being a father. And now it seemed like he couldn’t get either one right. Didn’t Rowan understand? Kaira washappier with him than she’d be with a nanny. Leaving her with Rowan was the right thing for her. And that made it the right thing for Jordy.

But maybe it wasn’t the right thing for Rowan. Jordy didn’t feel great about that either. He’d failed at being a friend too.

And if Rowan thought Kaira was a burden….

That idea cut in a whole new unexpected way.

Jordy thought he might throw up. “I didn’t realize you hated her so much. I’ll send someone from the agency over first thing in the morning.”

He ended the call and then, because he could not deal with any more of this tonight, put his phone on Do Not Disturb. If Rowan texted or called back or… whatever, Jordy didn’t want to hear from him.

But he did need to talk to somebody tonight, because this situation obviously couldn’t continue.

“Gem! Hi, yeah, no, I know it’s late. It’s urgent. I need you to hire a temporary nanny.”

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