Page 124 of Textbook Defense

Was it?

He thought about Christmas, about waking up to literal vomit and sending a half-asleep Jordy out to a drugstore twenty minutes away for emergency supplies, about sitting snuggled on the couch for most of the day, and their holiday feast of chicken soup.

It was the best holiday he’d ever had. Bar none. None of the extravagant lonely holidays of his childhood or the performative parties his parents had put on for friends could compete. Nor could any of the poor holidays he’d stumbled through with friends or Gem after he left home.

One week ago was the best family holiday of his life, puke and all. Maybe even because of it, because it was so, so real and not a fantasy, and holy crap—

“What the fuck am I doing?”

The family sitting across from him jerked in surprise; the parents glared, but the two preteens smiled at Rowan in delight.

The older one snapped her gum and shrugged. “I don’t know, man, what the fuckareyou doing?”

“Casey,” their father reprimanded.

Rowan laughed. “Making the biggest mistake of my life.” He stood and saluted the kids. “Happy traveling, folks.” Then he headed for the exit.

JORDY GOTthrough the pregame meeting on autopilot because he had a decade of experience. His heart wasn’t in it.

His heart was in pieces—one across town with her nanny, one probably somewhere over the Rockies by now.

But he’d heal. Right? His heart had been broken before. Hell, he was divorced. Surely his divorce had been worse than this.

Except it hadn’t. That had ended amicably. He’d been sad but not devastated. Not—

“Chin up, Shaw.” Ryan nudged his skate. “You can mope after we win the game. Let’s get on the ice.”

Jordy let his D-partner pull him to his feet and headed down the tunnel. Exercise would take his mind off it.

The scent of the ice didn’t cure everything, but it loosened something in his chest. Jordy’s legs carried him forward. The echo of skates on ice settled something in his head. He made a loop around the ice, let the speed of it whip his hair back. The cold helped. It hurt, but he could—

He was crossing behind the Orcas’ net, reaching out to snag a puck from the pile, when he saw the sign.

Home Team’s New #1 Fan

Jordy knew that writing. He’d seen it on his grocery list.

He raised his eyes.

Rowan stood on the other side of the glass, wearing his jersey and the cashmere hat Jordy had bought him for Christmas.

His feet stopped moving. His hand moved toward the glass without his conscious input.

On the other side of the glass, Rowan’s moved too.

He was supposed to be halfway to Toronto. He was supposed to be gone.

Home Team’s New #1 Fan

The scattered pieces of Jordy’s heart rushed back to his chest and thudded loudly. He could hardly breathe.

Rowan was biting down on what Jordy desperately hoped was a smile.

Someone snowed to a stop next to him and checked his shoulder. “Hey. You warm enough yet?”

Right, he had a job to do. “Can we…?” he started.

Nico clapped his helmet and nudged him back toward the drills. “After warmups,” he said. “Ryan’s sending someone for him.”

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