Page 51 of Widow's Walk

The rage and rejection and humiliation all swirl into one violent storm. I start to shake as it all tears me to shreds. All I want to do is scream. Cry. Disappear.

He brings his head in, bypassing my face, and brushes his lips against my ear tenderly. I start thrashing in his hold, and he gives me more of his weight, taking the air out of me.

“I fucking love your lies,” he whispers. The words crawl under my skin, digging up something buried too deep, too familiar. “It’s so easy to see the truth beneath them.”

A hairline fracture splinters through the barriers I’ve spent my life reinforcing.

No, no. Get the fuck out of my head!

That traitorous lump swells, and I can’t swallow it down. My insides clench. I’ve felt pain. Real pain. My body’s been scorched, twisted into something unrecognizable. But my mind—that was hallowed. Sacred.Mine. No one could ever touch it.

But now he’s in. Infiltrating and prying it open, making mefeel.

Stillness is safe.

Stillness is survival.

I chant the words in my head over and over like a mantra until I reel myself in and regain temperance. He feels it, I think. His hand falls from my mouth, and I turn my face enough to whisper back in his ear, “You’rereallykilling my buzz.”

And just like that, I see it. A crack in his armor.Finally!I knew he was part human. His body turns to stone, locking up like he forgot how to breathe. Fear tries to creep in, but I shut it down, putting myself back into that safe place. Cold, quiet, untouchable.

He leans away like he’s been burned, finding it difficult to look at me. And when he releases me from his weight, I stumble, unsteady without the pressure of him holding me upright. I press a hand against the wall for support.

Without a sound, he places his hand at the small of my back like it never left and nudges me back in the direction of Hell. His silence is more domineering than any threat he’s given me. Domineering and annoying as fuck.

We enter the room, and no one pays us any mind. I spot Harlan at the minibar, leaning an arm on it with one ankle crossed over the other. His face is the one everyone sees, but I see that twinkle in his eyes when they connect with mine.

Blackwell is prudent enough to withhold his tongue when I part ways with him again, heading straight for the dark liquor. “I was wondering wherethisSinclair was hiding,” Harlan murmurs for only me to hear.

I give him a smirk and turn to peruse the room with a new drink in hand. “Yeah?”

“I was beginning to think all the rumors about you were exaggerated.”

“They were watered down.” I sip my drink with a straight face. Anxious for the buzz to kick back in and send me into a state where I won’t remember much of tonight.

He hides his low chuckle in his drink. “I don’t know,joon-kharâsh. I was expecting theLady Lobotomyeveryone fears.”

I abruptly spit out my liquor on an uncontrollable laugh. Heads turn and conversations halt as all the attention turns to me. But I ignore them and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. Harlan is trying to hide his grin behind his glass, but I don’t give two fucks.

After everyone is sure I’m not lighting a match, they go back to their conversations, and I’m back to being a nobody.

“Is that what they call me?” I ask Harlan.

He shrugs a shoulder, face back to neutrality. “Something like that.”

“Did you just make that up?” The corner of his lips twitches, his eyes surveying the room like he’s ignoring me, like everyone else. But I don’t take offense, because unlike Blackwell, I do know Harlan. “Wow, that was pretty good. I like it. What else you got?”

“I’ll tell you only if you promise not to spit your drink out again.”

“I never make promises.” He snorts. “Come on,” I whine, feeling the effects of the liquor again. “Entertain me, Harlan.” I go to drink, and only a drop comes out.Damnit. I pick up the crystal decanter to fill my glass, my pour sloppy.

“Fine.” He pauses, and I watch him, zealous to hear what else he comes up with. “Batshit Barbie.”

I snort. “That’s alright, but you can do better.”

“The Attic Witch.”

I roll my eyes. “Heard that one already.”

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