Page 23 of Doll's Eye

“Of your feelings for Massimo?” I nod my head. “Why,bambina?”

“I feel like I’m already falling for him and barely know him. I know our relationship is based on an arrangement, but I don’t know. I wish it felt like a little more than that. I can’t expect him to somehow fall in love with me someday, but I hope he’ll at least learn to care for me and love me as family.”

“What makes you think he isn’t falling for you too?”

“He’s not.” I shake my head.

“How do you know?”

“I just do, Mamma. The little time we spend together, he’s…cold. I mean, not cruel or anything like that, and there’s been a few rare moments where he warmed up to me. I just wish I knew how to make him do it more often. Let his guard down some when it’s only the two of us.”

“Maybe he’s afraid of the same things as you.”

“Massimo isn’t afraid of anything,” I state matter-of-factly.

“Okay, so maybe afraid is not the right word to use. Maybe apprehensive.” We’re quiet for a moment. “Would falling in love with your husband be so bad?”

“Could you imagineBabbonever loving you back? Marrying him, falling in love with him, and spending the rest of your life with unrequited love?”

“It wouldn’t be ideal, but if he at least let me love him, it’s something I could live with, especially if I had no other choice. It’d be better than to be at war with myself, trying to fight a losing battle.”

Mamma and I are different people, though. She’s soft, kind, and much more accepting of things than I am. To imagine a life of being in love with someone who did not return those same feelings sounds like a despondent one.

No, I need to get a better hold of my feelings, which are rapidly growing for him. If I can put a leash on my temper, I can certainly put a leash on my emotions all around.

During the four days that Massimo is gone, I spend most of my time with my family. Hanging out in my father’s office just to be with him, spending time with my brothers and Fia, cooking with Mamma, watching my niece, and even having a few nightcaps with Monte when I wasn’t quite ready to call it a night.

It’s evening when Massimo finally comes home. I’m on the outdoor patio enjoying some wine when he walks out. Monte jumps to his feet as Massimo looks between the two of us as if he caught us doing something wrong. Only the guilty would so quickly jump to conclusions like that.

“Hey, Massimo. How was your trip?” Monte asks, and Massimo goes from disgruntled to surly in a matter of seconds. “I’ll, uh, give you guys some privacy.” Monte turns and leaves when Massimo refuses to acknowledge him.

Massimo watches his retreat, then turns to me as I sit and wait for him to make the first move. He eventually does, kissing me on either cheek. I open my mouth to ask him about his trip when he beats me to it.

“Monte isn’t for your entertainment,” he all but growls.

“No? Pray tell, who is, Massimo? I wake up, train, then wait around the rest of the day until you have a couple of hours tospare me,” I say evenly, holding onto my cool. Using that leash I gave myself a pep-talk on.

“You have the freedom to leave and do whatever it is that you want.”

“Whatever I want, huh? Is that what you were doing these past few days?”

He frowns down at me. “What are you trying to say, Alessia?” Right away, he’s getting defensive.

“Where were you really, Massimo? If you remember correctly, I did permit you to be with other women until we were married, and it wasyouwho wanted to be monogamous without delay. What I am not okay with is sneaking around behind my back.” I’m quickly spiraling, and I can’t stop. That leash is now pulled exorbitantly taut. “At least be man enough to tell me the truth to my face.”

“Are you accusing me once again of infidelity?” he raises his voice slightly.

“Yes.” I spring up from my chair and jut out my chin. “I’m not an idiot, Massimo. So, do not treat me like one. If you want to be with other women before we are married, then just admit it and stop being a pussy about it.” Spinning on my heels, I storm up the steps and into the house before I can lash out anymore.

“Alessia, we are not done talking,” he bellows out after me, and I ignore him. “Alessia, if you know what’s good for you, you will stop and face me.”

What’s good for me?Oh, hell no.Have fun watching my backside, Massimo, because that’s all you’ll be seeing before I slam the door in your face.I can feel his presence still somewhere behind me as I ascend the stairs and stomp to my room. I don’t run, but I do keep a swift pace.

I’m about to slam my door shut when he charges me—spinning me around and using my body to forcefully close it. He looks deranged and out of his mind, his gaze darkened, and alock of hair out of place. A shiver billows through me from the sex appeal he’s currently projecting.

“Twice now, you have accused me of being a man I am not. If I tell you I am not to touch another woman ever again, then I mean it. I let the first one go since we were still very new, and the situation did not look good for me, but I will not let this one go.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” I hiss.

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