Page 116 of His to Bedevil

“Oh, Alejandro! I’m so great. I have no idea how I will ever be able to thank you for everything you have done for me.”

“I did it for Irma,” I snipe as I enter my office and close the door behind me.

“Of course, of course. How is she?” By her voice, I can tell how healthy she is now. It’s not scratchy or hoarse. She’s chipper and trenchant.

“Irma is fine. She doesn’t know about you yet, and she won’t until I know that you will stay sober. I won’t let her put her faith in you and then have you fail her. I’m giving you three months to prove your sobriety and your commitment to seeing your daughter again. You will get a job and keep it. I will pay your rent, but the rest is up to you. If you fuck up, Benita, you will be out on your ass, and you will never see or speak to your daughter again. Do you understand me?” The words sound more like threats than guidelines. I do not like her mother, nor do I respect her. But she is after all Irma’s mother, and no matter how tough she tries to be about it, I know that she still carries around the pain of being neglected by her.

“I—I understand. I will not let her down. I’ve done enough of that already.”

“Good. Now, you have a week to find a job. Someone will be by every other week to perform a drug test on you. You will not have a sip of alcohol, and if I even suspect that you are thinking about even buyingweed, this whole thing is off. Now, I assume that you saw that the kitchen is fully stocked to start you off with. So, you are good on food for a while. Have you checked the folder that was left for you yet?”

“Y-yes,” she stutters.

“And you got the keys to your car?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“I will make the payments on it for a while until you make enough money to cover it. Do you have any questions?”

“Um, just one,” she says quietly, and I wait for her to continue. “Would it be possible to maybe see a picture of Irma? I just want to see for myself how she’s doing.”

I drum my fingers on the top of the desk for a moment while I think about it. I don’t feel she deserves it. To lay eyes on my beautiful wife and think she has some kind of connection with her. She was a shit mother, and I wish I could just kill her and be done with her altogether. But maybe it’s not such a bad idea to give her a picture. To rub salt in the wound. She’ll see how beautiful her daughter is and how she thrived without her. Didn’t need her. Still doesn’t.

“Yes. I’ll have one sent to you, and I will be in touch. Do not fuck this up, Benita. I am not a man that enjoys my time being wasted, and when it comes to my wife’s happiness, I will do whatever is necessary to ensure it.” I hang up without waiting for a response.

Now, all I have to do is tie up some loose ends. Benita will be watched twenty-four seven, so I need to get in touch with the guys I put in place there.

It takes me longer than I expected to get everything in order. Not only with Irma’s mother, but to make sure I can completely take off from work for a few days to spend every moment dedicated to Irma.

It’s getting late, and I pull up the security feed to our bedroom, and it’s empty. I check the feed to the outdoor patio and pool area. Empty as well. After searching more, I finally find where Irma is.

I make the trek to the theater room and stop in my tracks when I hear Irma’s laughter spilling out of it. It makes my heart skip a bit to hear the beautiful sound. I stand there off to the side of the doorway and watch Irma. She’s smiling and laughing with Lucas as they watch that show together. Her favorite show. I’m overcome with jealousy that it’s Lucas that gets to enjoy her laughter first. I’ve been dying for it ever since she came back, and now here it is, but it’s not with me. Once again, she shows an obvious affinity for him.

Deciding I’ve had enough, I step into the room. Both sets of eyes fall on me, and Irma’s smile quickly dissipates. “Oh, joy. Alejo’s here to suck all the fun out of the room,” she mutters, and stands up. “I’m suddenly tired.” She bends down and kisses Lucas on the cheek, and I want to murder my own brother all of a sudden. “Good night.” She glares at me as she nears the doorway and shoulders past me.

After a long, silent moment, I look at my brother. “I haven’t seen her laugh or smile since she’s been back.” My shoulders sag slightly, and I feel so defeated. A feeling I’m not at all comfortable with.

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t the one who broke her heart.” I know he has a lot more he wants to say. He warned me that if I ever changed my mind, it would be difficult to get her back. What if I’ve lost her forever?

“Why can’t you both see that I was just trying to do the right thing? For once. I was trying not to be selfish when it came to her.” My fingers fly up to my temples and begin rubbing them.

“Yo sé, hermano.”I know, brother.He stands up and comes over to me. “It’ll take some more time, but she’ll come back to you.”

I snort. “Are you sure you know her?”

“She came around the first time, didn’t she?”

Yes, but that was before I broke her heart and made the biggest mistake yet.

Irma

Alejo says he loves me and that he cannot live without me. That our time apart was just as painful for him as it was for me. But I don’t see how I can believe him. Does he really know what it’s like to love someone with your entire heart? Does he really know that it feels like your own heart is being ripped from your chest when you’re torn away from them? If he did, he would’ve come to get me the very next day. Not months later. If I thought he loved me back, I would’ve gone right back to him, knocking down his gates. But he left me thinking that he didn’t love me at all. That he grew bored with me and that I wasn’t good enough for him. He fucked up my already fucked-up psyche. As if I didn’t have enough issues to begin with.

As each day passes, I feel the walls around my heart begin to weaken and deteriorate. He’s been patient with me and, once again, so caring and nurturing. I don’t know if I can fight him off much longer. The other day with the car incident, when I was so close to killing us, the very last thought I had before he took control was regret. Regret for not forgiving and giving into Alejo. Telling him that I still love him and kissing him with everything that I’ve got. Making love to him and begging him to never break my heart again. I had a weak moment and clung to him, never wanting to let go.

I’m sitting out on the terrace, enjoying a nice sunny day, when I hear someone enter the bedroom. I ignore whoever it is and keep basking in the sun. I made sure to put on sunscreen, but I don’t care if I get burnt. I welcome the pain.

I have my eyes closed and feel the sun being blocked by someone. Cracking my eyes open to see who the intruder is, I quickly shoot up into a sitting position. “What is that?” My voice comes out all high and squeaky.

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