Page 97 of His to Bedevil

I hate this. This waiting around for him to tell me that it’s over. I just want him to get it over with. To just let me fucking go and rip my damn heart out already.

Alejandro

After I left Irma looking so dejected, I had to get some of my aggression out. I told Irma she needed to rest more, but the truth is, every time I see my wife naked, I’m haunted by the images of what she looked like when we left Serbia. Her face was the worst, but the rest of her body was covered in bruises from her fight with Vlad.

Large bruises, the color such a contrast to her creamy white skin. The imagines torment me in my dreams and even when I’m awake. I look at her and I keep seeing her battered and beaten. Her face hardly recognizable, her body more purple than white. To see my beautiful wife hurt like that, it’s something I can never erase. I don’t mean to make her feel like I don’t want her, but she doesn’t understand the continuous suffering I’ve been going through. This was all because of me and my obsession with her.

I head out of the estate and hop onto the ATV. When I get to the building, I make my way inside and head straight for Vlad’s room. I didn’t kill him back in Serbia like we thought, so we brought him back here to doctor him up, just so I can pound on him every damn day.

Before entering, I take my dress shirt off and hand it to the guard on duty. He takes it for me then opens the door to let me in.

We don’t have Vlad restrained because there’s no point anymore. I’ve beaten him so many times, the damage is now permanent. Flexing my muscles, I yank the guy up to his feet. “Rise and shine, Vlad,” I sneer, and his eyes peel open.

When I get back to my office after taking out my frustrations on Vlad, Berto is still there. I take a seat behind my desk and ignore him as I get back to work. After a while, he finally breaks the silence. “You know what you have to do, Alejo.”

I clench my fists and take a deep breath. Berto has voiced his concerns and told me that I need to let Irma go. That she has suffered enough and deserves better. A life away from danger, a life away from me. I didn’t listen to him twice now, and both times Irma almost lost her life. I won’t ignore him again. Not if it could cost her her life.

Swallowing the thickness in my mouth and disregarding the yearning and longing already stinging my chest, I nod my head. “Set it all up. And I don’t want to hear another word of it. The sooner the better.” I rush the words out quickly so I don’t have time to change my mind.

I work late into the evening and decide to open a bottle of whiskey. Something I seldom indulge in. I sit there alone in my office, lost in deep thought. I don’t know how I will break this to Irma. I don’t know how I’ll even go through with it. I’m not even sure I am strong enough to actually let her go. To walk away. To never see her again. I know she’ll be furious, and she might even cry. If she does, I’m afraid I’ll give in. I’ll tell her how much I love her and that I selfishly cannot let her go, even though it’s the right thing to do. That to have her parted from me is like parting with my soul.

It’s after midnight when I finally head up to our room. I enter it quietly and see that Irma is already asleep. I stand there flexing my hands, itching to crawl into bed with her and make love to her like I’ve been dying to do, so I make my feet move in the direction of the bathroom. I take a long shower and wish Irma would sneak in here and rub her hands all over me. Kiss the scars on my back like she always does in the shower and in bed. Stand in front of me and stare up at me with her moss-green eyes. If she came in here right now, I wouldn’t be able to reject her. I would sink myself so deep inside of her, no form of birth control would be able to fight off what I pump into her. I would put life in her, and then I wouldn’t have to give her up. I’d be able to use the excuse of a child to selfishly keep her.

“Fuck,” I hiss as I restrain myself from pounding my fists into the wall.

I finally drag myself from the shower and dry off. I take a hard look at myself in the mirror, and I can see the stress I’ve been under. More than usual. There are dark circles under my eyes, and I’ve lost some weight. It’s only going to get worse when Irma leaves. I’ll begin to deteriorate.

I make my way to bed and crawl in naked behind Irma. I wrap my arms around her naked body and pull her close to me. Hiding my face in her soft hair, I breathe in her scent.I love you so much, Irma. I’m doing this for you. To keep you safe. Because I can’t keep you safe with me.

I lie there for hours holding her, unable to sleep. Tomorrow, I have to talk to Irma, and I’m a wreck inside. Kissing the back of her bare shoulder, I roll over and climb out of bed. I head over to the minibar and pour myself a large glass of whiskey, then take a seat in a sitting chair. It’s facing the wall behind the bed, so I can see Irma, and when I look to my left, I can look outside at the night’s sky. Irma once told me she could never live anywhere where she couldn’t see so many stars. Like in big cities and heavily populated areas. I wonder if we’ll both look up at the stars at the same time and know it.

“Alejo?” Irma’s soft voice rings out, calling my attention. She gets out of bed and puts on her silk robe before she comes to me. I take a sip of my whiskey as I drink her in, standing there looking like a fucking angel before me. She crosses her arms over her chest and frowns. “What’s bothering you?”

I give her a sad smile. “Nothing you should be concerned about, my love.”

“You’re drinking,” she states, eyeing my glass of whiskey. “In the middle of the night.” She knows this is out of character for me.

“I can’t sleep.” I raise the glass in salute and then bring it to my lips. “This’ll help.”

She nods and chews on her bottom lip, then she turns to walk away. Reaching out, I grab her wrist to stop her. She looks back at me, and I see the severe pain in her eyes. She knows something is going on and is hurting from it. I pull her to stand in front of me and stare up at her amorously. Keeping my eyes on hers, I untie her robe and push it gently off her shoulders. The silky material slips from her body and pools around her feet. My eyes start to travel down her naked body, and flashes of it being so badly beaten keep invading my mind. Squeezing my eyes shut, I yank her into me and press my mouth against her nipple.

Irma moans and threads her fingers into my hair and holds on for dear life. I suck and pull on her nipples as I snake one hand down her back, over her perfect ass, and down to her slit. She’s so wet for me, begging for my affection. I thrust two fingers inside of her without much warning, and she inhales sharply. I pump them in and out of her, and I nip at her nipples. “Please, Alejo. I need you,” Irma whispers.

I need you too, my love.

I want to draw this out, to make it last as long as I can. I want to give every single part of her body one last kiss. To feel every single inch of her skin one last time. I get to my feet and pick her up, placing her on the table we always eat at. Laying her back, I push her knees up and out, spreading her wide for me. I take one long look at her glistening pink pussy, and I drop to my knees and take her into my mouth. Her hands immediately start grabbing at my hair, holding me in place. I kiss and swirl my tongue around her clit. Then I plunge it inside of her, and I think about all the things I never got to do to her. All the fantasies that will remain so.

“Alejo.” She moans my name as she grinds herself on my face.

“So perfect. So sweet.” I latch my mouth on to her clit and suck while I thrust two fingers inside of her and make her quiver and come around my fingers and all over my mouth. I drink every last drop from her, and the delicious taste of her titillates every single one of my senses.

I stand and scoop up her limp body and carry her out onto the terrace. We’ve made love under the stars many times, and I can’t think of a better place to do it for the last time. I settle on a lounger with the back inclined at an angle and Irma in my lap. She looks at me like I’m her world, and it kills me.Am I really strong enough to do this?

I thread my fingers into her hair and pull her mouth to mine. I stroke her tongue with mine and pull her body flush with mine. Needing to feel her skin against mine. Cherishing every moment of it. I keep kissing her as I pick her up by her hips and lower her down onto my hard length. She sucks in a sharp breath and starts moving. “Irma,” I groan, and kiss her harder. I move from her mouth and drag a trail of kisses down to her neck. Her head rolls back so that her face is pointed up to the clear sky, and I attack the column of her exposed neck.

I bury my face in her chest as she moves up and down on me. I smash her body against me and squeeze my eyes shut. The thought of this being the last time is a gut-wrenching pain. It’s worse than death. I want to carry her away and find a private island to live out the rest of our days like this. Naked and together. Making love underneath the stars.

“Alejo.” She whispers my name and places her hands on my cheeks, tilting my head up to her. “Look at me, Alejo.” How can I tell her that I can’t? That if I open my eyes right now, I might not be able to do what I have to do. Her movements start to slow down when she reads my face. “Alejo, you’re scaring me.”

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