Page 11 of Hello Goodbye Amore

“This is so good,” Chase said before covering his mouth with his hand. He swallowed, and that smile grew even wider. “Oh my God. Ricky would love this.”

Antonello ate, happy he’d brought Chase here. Maria stopped over a few more times to refill their wineglasses.

“I could never have wine with lunch at home.”

“I know. Americans are so prudish about some things. What does a glass or two of wine hurt? We aren’t going to get drunk, and wine goes with the food. What are we supposed to have, Coke? With this?” He shrugged and loved that Chase nodded across from him.

“If my boss found out…,” Chase whispered.

“Then we won’t tell him.” Antonello put his napkin on the table, and after saying goodbye to Maria and Luigi, they left and headed back to the office.

“You always manage to lead me into trouble,” Chase said.

Antonello chuckled because he was so right. Antonello had thought of himself as untouchable in college. He did everything he shouldn’t have, and he dragged Chase and Elaine along with him. They always had a good time and wiggled out of their scrapes with little damage because Chase somehow always managed to talk their way out of it. And the few times he’d failed, Antonello had slipped into Italian and played the “I don’t speak English” card.

“We had fun, yes?” Antonello said, knowing he certainly had. Those years with Chase and his sister were the happiest he had ever had. He still wished he had been more honest about himself and who he was. He had loved both Chase and Elaine, but because he had been denying part of himself, he had let his love of Elaine go too far, and once he’d become intimately involved with her, he didn’t know how to back away without hurting her, especially since it had been Chase that he really wanted. But leaving her for her brother would have devastatedElaine, and Antonello couldn’t have done it. So, like many things in his life, he had done what he knew he had to do and kept his true feelings to himself. Not that he could have acted on them anyway; his family would never have understood.

“We did,” Chase agreed softly, a wistful look in his eyes. “But that was back in college.” His expression grew hard. “Then you left, and Elaine and I had to pick up the pieces of our dreams and move on.” His steps grew more rigid. “I don’t think it’s good for us to go over what happened. We agreed to be professional and work together.”

Antonello knew what he’d done, and if he had the chance, he’d like to think he’d do things differently. Back then things had seemed so black and white, but maybe if he had tried harder, he could have figured out a way to have the life he wanted and make his family happy. “I know what I did, and I wish that things would have been different.” He stopped just down the block from the office. “I had to come back. I’m the heir to all of this… to hundreds of years of history.”

Chase put his hands on his hips. “I know that. I understand that part. What I don’t get is why you weren’t honest with us in the first place. You knew your family history and what was expected—you had to. Instead, we made plans and purchased things to start the business. We had commitments that all fell apart when you left. Elaine and I didn’t have the resources alone to get things started. You left, and we had to take everything apart.” Chase shot daggers at him.

“I didn’t understand all that. I was a kid away at college, and I had started to dream my own dreams. Maybe I was foolish to think they could come true. I was told what they expected and given a choice. Come home immediately or we will cut you off. Just like that, I was ordered back.” He shook his head because it sounded so feeble, even to him. Chase was right. He should have known, or at the very least have figured that shit out. He knewthe traditions in his family, but like all kids, he thought the rules didn’t apply to him. “I’m not going to say that I didn’t have a choice, because I did. I could have stayed in the US and walked away from my family….” He swallowed hard.

“I don’t think I could have done that either. But that doesn’t excuse that you should have known that you couldn’t stay. You should have been honest with us. And when you left, you didn’t just leave Elaine and me in a lurch because of the business—you left us… you left Elaine, and she—” Chase cut himself off midsentence, and Antonello wondered what he had been about to say. “You broke her heart.”

Antonello knew he had hurt her. “I know, and what am I supposed to do about it?” He had been a stupid kid and acceded to what his family demanded of him. Had he done the right thing? Probably, yes, but he had most definitely done things the wrong way, and now he was going to regret how he had left for the rest of his life.

Chase shrugged. “There’s nothing you can do now. She’s gone, and any chance you had to make things right with her is long past.” He glared fire at Antonello, and frankly Antonello couldn’t blame him. He had been stupid back then in so many ways, and now he was stuck with the consequences.

“If you really want to go there, then judging by the fact that she had Ricky with someone else, she must have gotten over me.” All this angst and emotion was beginning to seem over the top. Yeah, he had left, and Chase kept blaming him for Elaine’s broken heart, but there had to be something more to it. He had also stepped out on a business that hadn’t even gotten off the ground. As far as he was concerned, it had just been in the idea and formation stage, but like so many things back then, he had misread the situation.

Chase seemed a little startled and paled as he blinked.

“What is it? What am I missing?” Antonello pressed. “I know there is something.” Chase cleared his throat, speechless for a few seconds, which made Antonello even more curious. “You’re going to have to tell me eventually. We’re going to be working together for months. Do you want whatever is at the heart of this hanging over us for all that time?”

Chase nodded. “Let’s just say that Elaine wasn’t the only one you left behind who loved you.” He turned and quickly strode down the walk to the building. By the time Antonello got over the shock of what he’d heard, Chase had pulled open the door and disappeared from sight.

He finally got his feet moving, returning to the office so he could get Chase to explain what he meant, but he was greeted by a closed door. He thought about knocking but went to his own office instead. He had plenty of work to finish, and yet he thought about the connecting door, which was just as closed and seemed as impenetrable as the other one. Part of him wanted to go in and have it out, but that was a bad idea and he knew it. He was not going to have that kind of fight in the office. Word would get back to his father, and that was the last thing Antonello wanted. This was work, and he needed to be professional. And Chase in essence telling him that he loved him all those years ago was not something to talk about here.

That revelation cast plenty about his past in a different light. Chase had loved him. Antonello sat in his chair, looking at the door to the other office. Antonello had been so unsure of his feelings back then. He knew he had them, but he’d buried them deep. There were a few times when he had cozied up to Chase, especially when he’d had too much to drink. God, he remembered a weekend when Elaine had been gone and he and Chase had bought a couple cases of something called PBR. Cheap beer that tasted better after the third one. After a while, he lost track of what he drank, and he and Chase ended up curledtogether on the sofa, laughing until Chase fell asleep draped over him, his shirt riding up, giving Antonello a long look at his flat belly. He had longed to touch, to hold Chase in his arms, to see what he tasted like, and for a second, he had almost done just that. He wanted to badly, and he’d leaned forward to get closer to Chase’s lips, getting that first touch of a kiss, but he misbalanced and fell off the sofa, taking Chase with him. Both of them ended up on the floor in a fit of giggles. Chase managed to get himself to bed somehow while Antonello woke the following morning on the sofa, wondering if that moment had really happened. Chase never mentioned it, and Antonello figured that was best and began dating Elaine shortly afterward, if only to prove to himself that his moment of weakness had been the beer and nothing more.

A buzz intruded on his thoughts. It came again, snapping him back to the present. He picked up the phone, remembering that the past was little more than a minefield and he needed to keep his thoughts in the present.

“ARE YOUgoing to be able to work with him, this American?” his father asked before sipping his Aperol. “Is this going to be good for us?”

“Yes.” Antonello nodded. “I knew him in college. He and I were friends before I returned here.” He set his glass aside, not thirsty. “He and his sister were my closest friends while I was there. It’s nice to see him again.” He kept his expression bland because his mother could read him like a book, and he did not want to answer her questions. “Anyway, I think we will work well together and that the deal could be very good for us.”

“Excellent,” his father said.

His mother watched him with the eyes of a hawk. “You were seen outside the store, talking to a man with a little boy.”

“That was Chase. He and his nephew were shopping for a present for Chase’s mother, and they stopped in the shop.”

“Did you give them a good price?” his father asked.

Antonello smiled. “Of course I did. I want this to be a good relationship that will last beyond this one contract.” His father seemed satisfied.

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