Page 31 of Hello Goodbye Amore

Antonello shrugged. “I have no idea. I told her again that she needed to back off and leave me alone, but somehow I doubt she will. My mother is on a mission, and I really have no idea how to get her to stop.”

Chase knew a surefire way to get her to back off, but that would involve Antonello telling her the truth, and Chase wasn’t sure that he was ready to do that. Maybe he never would be. It was difficult to see Antonello being pulled like this, but there was nothing he could do about it. This was a decision Antonello had to make for himself.

MAYBE THISthing with Antonello was getting out of hand, and maybe he had let himself go too far down the rabbit hole. He really liked him—hell, he knew it was more than that, but he was afraid to use the word, even to himself. What surprised him most was how quickly his feelings developed and how easily he pushed everything else aside, including his concerns about the past. Maybe he needed to give himself a chance to think. The past weekend had been wonderful, and Chase had found that the more time he spent with Tio, the more his feelings grew and the more he liked being the center of his attention. It was like a damned drug. The problem was that he wasn’t sure he was ready for Antonello rehab.

He absently checked his emails and forced his mind through his tasks at hand, picking up his phone when it rang late in the morning. “Morning, Dewey,” he said when he saw the name. “What’s up?”

“The verification here was completed over the weekend. I just sent Glorioso our signoff, and we have built a number of prototypes, and those are being tested in the lab now. We used the remainder of the pieces that were sent earlier.”

“Okay. I’ll speak to them about getting more shipped as soon as they are able.” There was little else he could do. “I’ve also been going over the rest of the engineering specs, and I saw a few changes.”

“Yeah. I had Dave make them. They’re really small.” Dewey seemed proud of himself. “I think we can incorporate them going forward.”

“But they will mean redesigning the most important components, including the piece from Glorioso that you’re just about to sign off on.” Chase kept himself calm. Dewey thought he was a brilliant engineer, but he was sloppy and didn’t look at the entire picture. All he wanted was fast, which didn’t work in their business. The FDA and other agencies would see to that. “Also,if those changes are made, it will affect how the unit performs, and the FDA isn’t likely to approve it.” He was trying to politely explain that changes to design couldn’t be made on the fly.

“I sent the same information to Dave, and he hasn’t raised any issues,” Dewey countered.

“Okay.” Chase looked up as Antonello stuck his head into the office. Chase smiled and then rolled his eyes. “But unless you want to completely start over on this end, we can’t make those changes. We’d have to go back to the drawing board and redo everything here, and any savings would be eaten up by the changes that would be made over here.”

Dewey groaned. “Fine. Just ignore my suggestions. I’ll let Dave know to disregard them. Stick with the design you have.” Chase could tell that he was not happy, and he knew Dewey would somehow manage to get even with him. “I’ll speak to you at the staff meeting tomorrow.” Dewey hung up, and Chase met Antonello’s gaze.

“Dodged a bullet with that one,” Chase said.

“I figured. So everything is good?”

“Yes. Dewey is sending his approval, which should act as final signoff for the next phase.” At least that step was behind them.

“Do you want to get lunch?”

Chase looked at his list of tasks that had just gotten longer, thanks to Dewey’s meddling. “I don’t think I can right now. I have more calls to make. But thank you.” He wanted to get out of the office but didn’t have the time.

Antonello closed the door, and Chase called Dave to touch base.

“Sometimes I don’t know what he’s thinking,” Dave said once he pulled up what Dewey had sent. “That would require a whole new wave of FDA design approvals. Months of work….” All because he wanted to play design engineer all of a sudden.Chase was willing to bet that Dave was thinking the same thing he had been.

“I wanted to let you know.”

“I’ll handle it,” Dave said firmly. “Don’t worry about it at all. Speak of the devil. I need to take Dewey’s call.”

Chase ended the call and continued working, head down, until a knock on the door pulled his attention. Chase looked up to see Antonello with a plate of pasta, the scent filling the room, making Chase’s stomach growl.

“Maria sent you something special,” Antonello said, and Chase groaned as he took the first bite.

“She is a goddess.” He smiled and swallowed. “Thank you for thinking of me.”

Antonello closed the door and stepped closer to his desk. “I’m always thinking of you, during the day, at night… when I’m supposed to be in meetings….” He leaned closer. “You seem to occupy my thoughts all the time.”

Chase met Antonello’s heated gaze, speechless. “Tio…,” he started softly. “I’m really not sure if this is such a good idea. We’re working together, and….” He set down his fork. “You left after college because of your duty to your family. And as far as I can see, nothing has changed. I know you care for me, that is obvious, and I care for you, but the duty that is so ingrained in you, the one you put most everything in your life on hold for, is still there, and I don’t want to be the one to get hurt.” His chest ached just saying the words, but he had to. There was no other choice. “I’m here for a few more months, and then I’m supposed to go back to the US.” He tried to keep his voice level.

Antonello nodded slowly. “Maybe you’re right and this thing between us is some sort of fantasy, some holdover from our college days that was suppressed and is coming forward. But it feels right, and nothing has for me in a very long time. And I know you’re here for a limited time, but I’d rather spend it withyou and Ricky than apart. If you don’t feel the same, then I’ll understand. What I did back in college wasn’t right, and I know I can’t just turn my back on my family.”

“I just don’t see how this can go anywhere, no matter how much I might wish it could.” The words felt like broken glass on his tongue. “Part of me says to walk away, and yet….” Damn, even saying the words was so fucking hard.

“Then don’t.” Antonello’s eyes filled with hurt, and Chase could feel his resolve wavering. “I’ve been happier these past few weeks, with you, than I have in a long time, and I need some time to try to figure this out. My family is important to me, but….” He paused, and Chase held his breath. “So are you. And I know I can’t keep living like this. I have to figure out a way to tell my parents who I really am.”

Chase nodded slowly. “I understand. It wasn’t easy to tell my parents, but I couldn’t live a lie any longer. And if I’m being honest, I don’t think you can either. I saw how free and happy you were this weekend.”

“I was.” Antonello shifted his weight from foot to foot. “My parents are so traditional and set in their ways.”

---