Chapter 15

Nina

I'm being bold and instead of feeling like I'm going to pass out from panic, I feel incredibly excited. Anxious of course, but Ineedthem. Not only to help distract me from my horrible thoughts, but to help me learn that noteverypiece of me is broken.

I so desperately want them to make me feel good and loved. Cherished. While I've been relaxing against Trevor, I've been trying to figure out how I want them to love me. The truth is, I need my guys to consume me so nothing else can.

Trevor's arms tighten around me, his hands gripping my bare skin as Kai gets closer. I allow the rough touch, knowing my big alpha man is trying to hold himself together. The closer Kai gets, the tighter my legs squeeze together.Geez. The look in his eye sends heat through my core.

"Kai," I breathe just as he crashes to his knees in front of the bench seat with a feral look on his face. His hands grab my knees and yank them to the side so I'm sitting up with them over the edge of the bench. I gasp over the sound of Trev grumbling, and relax when Trevor adjusts back behind me.

"Nina, I need you to tell me what your safe word is." Kai's voice sends shivers down my spine and arms. "Right now, Neen."

Oh...Oh!"Um, I need a safe word?"Way to sound dumb.

Movement over Kai's shoulder doesn't deter me from his look of complete seriousness. "Flora, there's four of us, and one of you. This could get overwhelming really damn fast and you having a safe word that can stop anything at anytime will make us all feel better. Unless you don't want us all here right now, then that's okay too."

That was a lot of information all at once, but the one thing I can't help but analyze is the last thing Kai said. "I-I never thought I wouldn't have all of you for my...for my..."

"Shhh." Trevor's gentle caress along my hip bone and shushing in my ear has me melting again. "You say the word, Nina, and it's yours."

"But—" I hesitate, not really wanting to say what was about to come out of my mouth.

There's subtle murmuring over by my bed, but my eyes have squeezed shut in embarrassment. "What baby? You can tell us anything," Trev encourages me.

I chew the inside of my cheek until I find the courage to glance at all four of my guys. The shock I feel when I see Ridge shirtless on my bed and Henry with only boxer briefs on sprawled against my pillows steals my breath.

"Henry, could you not look so damn sexy while our woman is trying to think?" Kai admonishes with a teasing lilt to his voice.

Henry chuckles. I suck in a breath and cover my face, thoroughly embarrassed.

"Damn it, Kai. I was trying to get her to open up," Trevor complains while peeling my hands away from my warm cheeks. "What were you going to say, baby? Don't let them dickmatize you."

"Oh my fucking hell! Somebody clock the time. I'm getting that as a fucking tramp stamp. You didnotjust say that!" Ridge howls with laughter, bending over his knees in complete exasperation.

The shock of what Trevor just said catches up with me, then I'm giggling right along with the rest of them. I can practically hear Trevor roll his eyes and feel his smirk on the tender skin of my neck.

"Now, Nina," Trev growls and I know I've lost his patience.

I suck in a breath and wiggle my hips closer to Kai because I need more of his touch. "I don't want to decide." It's then I realize that Trevor made such an out of characteristic comment to break up the seriousness of this moment. The fact that he was so attuned to the anxiety rising in me helps me relax even more.

I give Trevor my weight and spread my legs further for Kai. Looking at Henry and Ridge, I give them my attention when I express my needs, unbidden and completely trusting. "I don't want to decide anything. But what I do want is you to make me feel so loved I forget about all the pain. Please.Please love me."

I just want to be loved.