Page 102 of Savage Promises

I swallow hard, feeling like an outsider. This is their legacy, their history. A part of me wonders if I’ll ever truly belong.

“So... When will you and Shane add to the chaos?” Darcy whispers, standing on the other side of me.

I freeze, the weight of her question heating my neck.

“Um,” I stammer. “I just opened my new club. I think I need at least a year to settle in. You know, do all the hard work upfront and then turn it over to a manager I trust.”

“I’m a surgical nurse at a busy hospital. Youcanhave it all.” She smiles. “I can’t wait for Shane to be a dad. He’s going to be a wonderful father. My girls adore him. He lets them put a tiara on his head when they do tea parties.”

I nearly drop my drink. “Really?”

She leans in and whispers, “They have to look tough on the street to survive. But family is what they know. This is what’s safe to them.” She gazes out at the packed living room.

Safe...

I nod, hiding how choked up I am, hoping I’ll get to find out. Wearemarried. He said it’s real. That means...kids. Someday. So why is the knot in my stomach tightening all the time, like something dark and looming is heading for us?

Little boy laughter in the television room down the hall turns into a sudden chorus of high-pitched wails. Griffin and Grayson spring from their chairs, tall on their feet. They’re laughing as they jog to see who did what to who.

“Feels like yesterday when Ewan and I were beating the hell out of each other,” Griffin jokes.

Ewan rocks his infant daughter to give his wife a break to have a drink and catch her breath. “I’m telling you, brats,” he calls out to the guys, “little girls are the golden secret they don’t tell men.”

Sadie and Maggie are now playing on kiddie iPads in the dining room. Quiet. Like angels.

“Let’s see if you still feel that way when they start dating.” Shane slaps Ewan on the back.

“Dosser,” he laughs at his brother.

Dinner is served buffet style from trays set up in the kitchen. There’s no agenda. No games. Just the family stopping time to honor their mother and be together.

Like they’re not crime lords in Manhattan. Not killers. Not feared on the streets.

Conversation buzzes all around me, mostly talk of kids, to which Shea looks uncomfortable and smiles at me like we’re working-girl partners in crime. I heard she couldn’t have kids, but Trace went to the end of the earth to marry her.

When the plates are empty, Ava, Shea, and I clear them away while Sabine lights the candles on a massive cake in the dining room.

“Let’s sing happy birthday!” she says, waving everyone in.

The entire family gathers in the classic dining room to sing happy birthday to Norah, who breaks down and starts crying. Ewan and Griffin are there at her side. She leans on her oldest sons, who help her blow out of the candles.

My mom didn’t live to see anything like this, and I miss her so much suddenly. But maybe it’s best she left this world when we still held a semblance of a happy family.

The warmth in this room is palpable, but it starts to feel suffocating. Nibbling a piece of cake on Norah’s fine gilded plates, I wander to the large bay window at the front of the dining room.

As I eat the delicious cake, I push aside the graceful lace curtains and my gaze drifts across the street to my family’s house. It’s dark, compared to the lit-up three-ring circus going on here. I think about Neve and wonder if she’d be welcome here one day.

The new club has kept me occupied, and I haven’t thought much about how my sister is getting on since she was caught with her coach. She’s made no attempt to reach out to me.

Sigh.Once again, it’s up to me to be the bigger person. Maybe she’d like a piece of cake. Heck, did she even eat dinner? My maternal instincts kicking in, I set my plate down and glance at Shane, who studies me with steady scrutiny.

“I want to check on Neve,” I say quietly.

“Now?” His smile slips immediately. “My family is all here. Together. You’re a part ofthis. Us.”

I wilt and wince at the same time, guilt twisting in my chest. “I know, but she’s still my sister. She’s alone over there.”

Shane exhales, his hand resting on my lower back. “This could have been her life. She threw it away. Don’t feel guilty for the decisions she made.”

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