Page 7 of Need for Speed

Sadie

Last night was amazing but waking up in Axell’s arms was the best part. For a moment, I was able to just soak in that look in his eyes. Axell gets this look sometimes like I’m the only perfection he’s ever known. That feeling has been my guilty pleasure since I met him, but that feeling is fleeting. I soak it up while I can because it never takes too long before my mind circles back to the one thing, he doesn’t know about me. It alsohappens to be the biggest thing about me and I’ve kept it from him all these years. I have no excuse except that I was too selfish to tell him. I feared of losing that look he gives me or even worse, losing him but in reality, I don’t deserve him. I never have.

Finally, pulling ourselves from the bed we get ready for the day. I head to the kitchen to make some breakfast while Axell showers. I decide to make a breakfast bake since it always goes over well with the guys. I just slide it in the oven when Axell appears behind me in the kitchen. “I’ll get it from here. You go shower.”

I smile as he places a kiss to my neck. “Okay, I’ll be quick.”

Standing under the hot water of the shower my mind circles back. When my mom called me a few weeks ago I knew things had taken a turn for the worse. Right after Jagger moved back to L.A. from Vegas, I had found out that my mom had been diagnosed with congestive heart failure. She has been lucky to live as long as she has, but the last time I saw her name come across my screen I knew that this was it.

They say you get intuition and that’s all I can say about that feeling I got that day. She told me that the medicine was no longer working, and they didn’t expect her to make it over a few months. I needed to come clean and tell Axell, but I still didn’t know how. Telling him my mom was sick was the easy part. It was going back home that was the problem and what if he wanted to come with me?

There was no way he could come with me. He couldn’t know about everything in South Carolina. Seth! Maybe I can get my brother to go out and visit with her. Maybe, he can see what he can get settled.

****

After work, I head over to Seth’s place, but he isn’t there. I knew I should have texted him earlier. There’s no telling wherehe is. I’m just about to call him when Axell’s picture appears on my screen. Answering the phone, I’m greeted by a cheery voice. “So, Bowie and Hollis decided to have a cookout for everyone. I’m already over here, but if you let me know when you get home, I’ll come pick you up.”

I hear Axell doing baby talk and it melts my heart. He’s going to make a great father but then I think about the fact that I may not be the mother. I shake my head in an attempt to clear it. “Okay, I’m actually at Seth’s. I was going to check on him, but he doesn’t seem to be here. I’ll head home now.”

“Is everything okay or were you just checking in on him?” Axell asks with concern in his voice.

Seth is older than me, but I’ve always looked out for him. He’s always been a bit of a hippie child which only makes him more loveable. Seth and I don’t look alike. He’s tan from all the time he spends surfing with wavy sandy blonde hair that hangs to his ears. His six-foot-one-inch fame is all muscle. I got my dad’s sky-blue eyes while he got a mixture of our parent’s eyes, seafoam green. He has a bad tendency of scowling, but when he smiles it lights up the room. When you first meet him, you’d think he’s going to be air headed like the stereotypical surfer but he’s the complete opposite. He can be pretty philosophical. “Just checking in. I’ll just try to catch him tomorrow.”

“Okay I’ll see you in a few. Be safe, love you.”

“Love you too,” I tell him as I hang up the phone.

When I pull back up to the house I head in and slip on my peach colored sundress and some brown wedges. I let my hair out of my French braid and run my fingers through it. It’s falling in loose waves. I decide to leave it down. I’m heading down the hallway when the front door opens. Axell lets out a low whistle of appreciation. “Damn, you look gorgeous.” I blush and take his extended hand. “You ready to eat, play some board games, and a whole lot of baby talk?”

I laugh. “I’m ready to see you speaking a whole lot of baby talk,” I tell him with a wink. Jagger and his wife Londynn welcomed a little boy, Westin, a few months ago and Bowie and his wife Hollis welcomed a little girl, Annalynn, almost three weeks ago. The babies are getting spoiled because we’ve all been so excited to have babies around. A phantom pain runs through my heart, but I push it down.

I spot Kynlee almost as soon as we walk through the door. I make my way over to her. “Hey, I didn’t realize you were back. How’s your sister?”

“She’s doing better. The doctors expect her to make a full recovery and the swelling on her brain has gone down. As long as she keeps getting better then she should be here for the wedding,” Kynlee says with a big smile.

“Oh, that’s great. I didn’t realize your family was coming.” Kynlee has a strained relationship with her family from what she’s said, so I’m surprised by this news but really happy for her. I know it means a lot to her.

She shakes her head. “Just my mom and sister. I’ve never been very close with my dad or brother and they refuse to come. They more or less disowned me when I moved out here.”

“I’m sorry, Kynlee.”

She shrugs. “It’s okay. I’m afraid if they did come it would just be drama. I know Ace wouldn’t like the way they talked about me and you know Ace, he’d tell them exactly how he felt. I’d rather not have that at my wedding, but I am glad my mom and Brooke will be here.”

“I get what you’re saying about drama. I haven’t seen my mom since I moved here in high school. She kind of has the same view of me as your father does of you. Your wedding is meant to be a happy moment and you deserve for it to be that. Having people around that don’t really want to be there isn’t worth it. You have all of these people who really want to be there so that’sa win in my book,” I tell her. Kynlee smiles and wraps her arms around me.

“Thanks, Sadie.”

“So, are you ready for your bachelorette party?” I ask her just as Ace joins us.

She nods her head enthusiastically. “Yes!” She replies as Ace says, “No!”

I laugh unable to hold it in. Kynlee turns and lightly slaps Ace on the chest. They begin to talk to one another, everyone else forgotten about. I turn around in search of Axell and see him holding Westin. He’s bouncing him on his knees while making funny faces at him and it melts my heart. To see Axell in the role of a father never gets old. It just makes him that much sexier.

Later that night while we are lying in bed, I feel the bed shift as Axell moves. A few seconds later I hear him whisper, “You awake?”

I roll over and smile. “Yes.”

“I was thinking. Playing with Westin and Annalynn then seeing you with them. I want one of my own. I want us to have a family. I was never sure until I held Westin but now, I know,” he tells me quietly.

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