Page 6 of Need for Speed

We move around the designated route for the race but on the last curve coming up to the finish line Patrick, the guy I’m racing, loses control of his car on wet asphalt and clips my bumper. With the wet road I’m unable to get the traction I need to keep the car on the road. The car begins to fishtail. My heart is slamming against my chest, sweat burns my eyes, and my breathing is heavier than ever before.

Is this it? Is this where I die? Is all that keeps playing through my mind. I send a quick prayer out because I really hope it’s not. I haven’t even told Sadie I love her yet, but I do. Who will take care of my brothers?

Luckily, neither cars flip, but Patrick slides off the road and grazes a street light and a bench. I come to a stop as my car jumps the sidewalk and scrapes along a brick building. My seat belt won’t come undone. Bowie yanks the passenger side door open. “You scared the shit out of us bro!”

“The seat belt is jammed,” I tell him as I pull with all of my muscle.

“Hold on let Tillman grab a tool,” Bowie says as he disappears.

Roscoe climbs in through the passenger side door with a crowbar. “That was some stupid ass shit, dumbass! What the hell were you thinking racing in a damn rainstorm?”

I sigh heavily. “Shut the hell up and just get me out of here.”

The buckle clicks and it releases me. I climb over to the passenger seat. Once I step outside Sadie slams into my body. Her tiny arms wrap around my waist and she pulls me as close as she can. She’s shaking like a leaf from being wet and cold or scared, I don’t know. I rub circles on her back. I lean down and press a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m okay. No big deal,” I say trying to calm her.

She pulls back and glares at me and before I can react, she slaps my face with all her strength. “You selfish son of a bitch,” is all she says to me before she turns on her heels and storms away. The rain is still coming down and her image quickly fades.

I hear my car scraping against the building as someone tries to move it back to the street, but I could care less. All I care about right now is Sadie and the fact that I might have just lost her.

I knew I had scared Sadie, but I figured she’d come around in a few days, but four days later and there was still no Sadie. She hadn’t called, she hadn’t come by, and when I saw her at school, she’d go the opposite direction. I didn’t know what to do. My heart ached for me to go to her, but my pride said screw it and move on. There were a ton of other girls who would be more than happy to be on my arm. I didn’t need Sadie.

The problem was I wanted Sadie. If I’m being honest with myself, I do need her. Sadie is the only one who stands up to me when I’m being ridiculous. She is the only one that tells me how it is instead of just going with whatever I say. She makes me go home and face the music and be present in the moment. WhenI’m with her I don’t have to chase the adrenaline rush or look for control because she calms me somehow.

In just a few short months Sadie has done the one thing no one else ever has. She has climbed over every wall I had. Walls that I built to keep the reputation I had. Walls that protected me from the cruelty of the world. She scaled them and won then she wove herself into my heart. There was no shaking Sadie.

I was sitting at lunch with my group of friends when it dawned on me, I was going to have to forget my pride and go to her if I wanted her back. It was either that or learn to live with this ache in my heart that only Sadie could fix.

After school I headed to the shop with my brothers to get to work. The shop was my home away from home and I loved it here. Everything about this shop was comfort to me, but today I didn’t want to be here. I knew I had to talk to Sadie. I had to fix this because at the end of the day, I needed her in my life.

At seven o’clock we called it quits. I washed up and jogged to my car. Bowie asked me where I was off to in a hurry. I replied for him not to wait up. I sped through the streets, eager to get Sadie back but as I pulled up to her house it was dark, no cars in the driveway, nothing. I got out and rang the doorbell anyway, but of course, there was no answer.

I refused to leave until I could talk to Sadie, so I went back to my car, getting comfortable while waiting for her. I must have dozed off because oncoming headlights woke me. A small white car pulled into the driveway and to my surprise I saw a guy from school hop out and go to the passenger side. Sadie appears from the other side of the car. Emotions flood me. All I can think is this can’t be happening. I have a death grip on my steering wheel causing my knuckles to turn white. I have to keep talking myself out of beating his ass. I have no right to take my anger out on him. Technically, he has done nothing wrong.

Sadie quickly hugs him then turns to head for her house when her eyes fall on my car. The other car backs out without a second glance and leaves Sadie standing in her front yard. Neither of us blink, neither of us move. Finally, I manage to get myself out of the car. Slowly, I move toward her. I don’t know how I’m moving or why, but I’m drawn to Sadie.

Sadie remains perfectly still. I’m not even sure she’s breathing but she’s watching my every move. Once I’m close enough, I reach out grabbing her hips and pull her toward me before crushing my lips onto hers. Her little yelp of shock sends shudders through my body. I kiss her with everything I have. She wraps her arms around my neck. I pull back an inch, her mouth just a breath away from mine. “I love you Sadie. I’ll do anything you want me to all you have to do is ask. I love you.”

Sadie’s reaction is not what I thought it would be. I didn’t even think about telling her that I love her it just fell out of my mouth, but I don’t regret it. Admitting that I’m in love with her feels right but she’s shaking her head. She places her hands on my chest and I know she can feel my heart pounding in my chest. “Axell, I love you, I do but I’ll never ask you to not be who you are. Racing is part of you, and it’s a big part. No matter how scary it is for me it’s something that you love and that matters.”

“I know it scares you, but I promise I got this Sadie. I can race in my sleep,” I tell her the feeling of adrenaline coursing through my veins, but I didn’t get it from racing this time. This time it’s caused by Sadie and the fact that I’m in love with this girl.

A sad look fills Sadie’s eyes. “Axell, you don’t understand. I may be in love with you and I understand where racing stands in your life. I understand why you feel like you have to race but I can’t be scared every time you get in a car. I can’t get that pit in my stomach every time you drive up to that line and rev thatengine. I don’t want to worry that I’ll never see you again. I’ll never ask you to stop racing, but I also can’t be with you and live like this.” A few stray tears slip from her eyes. I watch as they make a trail down her cheek until they slip from her face and land on my arm. “I’m sorry,” she adds in a whisper, then turns around and leaves me standing in the dark.

I don’t know how long I stand there, but I can feel my adrenaline fading and reality setting in. I thought it was bad when I had thought I lost her, but this is worse. This is so much worse.

Sadie stirs in her sleep knocking me from my memory. I watch as her eyes flutter open and she raises her head from my chest. Resting her chin there I watch as a shy smile and blush transform her face. “Good morning.”

I run my fingers back and forth on her bare shoulder. “Good morning gorgeous.”

“So last night was good.”

I chuckle. “Yeah it was.”

She leans forward and presses a kiss to my chest. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too,” I tell her, as I grip her upper arms and drag her body up mine, so I can claim her mouth.

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