Page 5 of Need for Speed

“Hey mom,” he says with a smile on his face. Jovi started referring to me as mom shortly after his biological mother passed away. It shocked me at first, but over the years it has become normal. “How was work?”

“Long, speaking of work, why aren’t you at work?” I ask him.

“I have a big test tomorrow, so dad sent me home to study for it,” Jovi says while studying his book. His hair keeps falling over his eyes and I have to resist the urge to reach out and move it. If I had it my way, he’d get a haircut, but he’s at that age now where he wants to make his own decisions. “Are you and dad okay?”

I hear the concern in his voice and it breaks my heart that he’s even worrying about this. “Yeah, we’re fine. Just some silly argument, nothing big,” I tell him. I still remember when Jovi asked if he could call us mom and dad. It was bittersweet. I was so happy that he could see me as his mother but also incredibly sad that he never got to know the amazing women that was his actual mother. “I’m going to soak in the bath for a bit then I’ll fix dinner.” He nods, and I leave him to study.

I start to run some hot water and drop in a lavender bath bomb, it claims it helps achy muscles and it’s supposed to be relaxing. I turn on the iPod and scroll until I findLewis Capaldion my playlist. The hot water makes my skin tingle, but it feels so good. I lay my head back and close my eyes.

A few years ago, Axell had surprised me with a weekend getaway for our anniversary. When we returned, I was surprised to find that the getaway was only part of the present. Axell had an extra-large soaking tub added into our master bathroom since it was number one on my wish list.

I’m so relaxed that I don’t hear him, but I smell the food. I open my eyes and see Axell standing there in all his glory. Even from here I can see the longing in his eyes and I hate that I’vepushed him away. Axell is a strong man, probably the strongest I know, but even if he won’t admit it, he also has a need to be needed. I’m not giving him that. His deep red t-shirt hugs his biceps and chest. His tattoo peeks out from under the sleeve. His dark denim jeans hang low on his hips, hugging him in all the right places. I feel my heart rate start to pick up and I let out a shuddering breath.

“I come with a peace offering. I got your favorite, fettuccini alfredo with cheesy breadsticks.” A small smile comes over his face.

I smile back at him as my heart beats wildly in my chest. “I’m sorry about the other night.”

Axell shakes his head while placing the plate on the bathroom counter. He approaches me and kneels down. “No, you don’t owe me an apology.” If he only knew how wrong, he was. I owe him more than an apology. “I know how you feel about racing. It is dangerous I was just trying to think of a way to get the money back for Jovi’s college fund quickly. You know when dad got sick, we had to dip into it and I hated doing that, but we had no other choice. He’s got plenty for the first two years of college, so we’ll just figure something out by that time.”

I reach out and stroke his cheek. “He’s smart, he’ll get some scholarships and we’ll figure it out, we always do.”

He turns his head and kisses my palm. “I know we will. I love you Sade.”

“I love you, too,” I say while he leans down and kisses me. “Why don’t you join me?” I tell him with a wink. He smiles against my lips.

“My pleasure, Mrs. James,” he replies with a wicked grin crossing his face. That grin has always sent shivers down my spine and I don’t think that’ll ever change.

Chapter 3

Axell

As I wake up, I feel the warmth of Sadie beside me. I open my eyes and see her lying with her head on my chest and one of her legs thrown over mine. It’s the first nights rest I’ve gotten in days. I always said I could sleep anywhere but that proved to be wrong. There is no way to sleep comfortably on a couch when you are 6’4”. Plus, I missed Sadie.

It’s funny when I was younger; I always swore there was no way I could ever share my bed with anyone. I’m a big guy and I like my room. Then Sadie came along, and I’ll admit at first it was awkward. You worry about snoring or talking in your sleep. Always afraid of embarrassing yourself so you don’t really get comfortable but after a few weeks having someone beside you just becomes your normal. I quickly got used to the warmth that Sadie’s body put off and the extra weight on my chest from where she rests her head. I like that the bed always smelled like honeysuckle because it reminded me of her even when she wasn’t around.

Sleeping on the couch the past few nights reminded me of all that. I hated how the cool air from the air conditioning would sneak under my blanket and wrap around me. It was a constant reminder of the distance that was between us at the moment and I always hate when Sadie and I seem off with one another.

I stare at her as she sleeps and remind myself how lucky I am. I should have never brought racing up the other night. I knew that was a huge no for her. I knew what the reaction would be and what it would cause. Sadie will go to the races to watch but she never really watches. She fears car wrecks and death so watching people that she cares about is too much for her.

She never asked me to quit racing, but she made it clear that she couldn’t be with me if I decided to still race after I almost had a wreck. I still remember it all like it was yesterday instead of years ago.

It was race night, and my blood was pumping in overtime. I couldn’t wait to get behind that wheel. I could feel the nerves coming off Sadie, so I place my arm around her shoulders and pull her into me, trying to reassure her. I had this. I was the king of the streets. I had no fear when it came to this.

Racing was the one thing I had always had control over in my life. And now with my mom dying, I felt that need for control even more. I had to be the strong one for my dad and brothers, but it wasn’t always easy. I was losing her too, but I couldn’t break down like that.

Sadie looks up at me. “Something feels off about tonight.”

I shake my head and chuckle. “Baby, nothing is going to go wrong. I got this. I could race this road blindfolded.”

I can see the unease written all over her face, but I just shake it off. Finally, it’s time for us to place our buy in and get lined up. I’m always the last to race since I’m known as the king. Jagger will start off the races, then Bowie, Jones, and Tillman. As I slide into my car a boom of thunder fills the air.

An eerie quiet, falls over the crowd on the sidelines. The brewing storm begins to pick up more momentum in the middle of Jagger’s race. Lightning has now joined the party along with gusting winds. I roll my shoulders in an attempt to release the pent-up tension that has built there.

I scan the sidelines and see Hollis, Harlyn, Lyndsay, and Sadie standing together. The look on Sadie’s face breaks my heart. She is a nervous wreck. I try to push the thought and image of her from my mind as I move to the front of the line.

Sprinkles start to come down just as Jemma steps up to flag us. I turn my music up louder and roll my windows up to drown out the noise of the storm. I take my palms and wipe them over my jeans trying to dry the sweat that is forming there. I don’t know what has gotten into me. I’ve raced in worse weather than this before.

I move my head from side to side to stretch it, then try to focus just on the race. Just as Jemma flags us to go, a strike of lightning lights up the sky above us. It’s like the sky just opens up as the rain comes pouring down. We’ve already left the start line and I’ll be damned if I stop now because of some rain.

---