Page 32 of Need for Speed

“Yeah, I’ll do it tomorrow.” I yawn which Axell doesn’t miss.

“Go get some sleep. We can talk tomorrow,” Axell tells me.

I smile. “Okay, I will. Sleep well Ax.”

“You too. Good night.”

Before he hangs up, I stop him. “Ax?”

“Yeah?” he asks.

“I love you,” I tell him one more time for good measure.

“I know. I love you too.” And with that the line goes dead. We still have a lot to figure out, but we’ve made progress today and that makes me feel better about our future. Now, I just need to talk to Drake tomorrow and get things situated with him, but for now I’m going to bed. My stomach still feels a little queasy. Hopefully, tomorrow I’ll feel back to normal. For the first time in months I climb into bed feeling relaxed. No more lies hang between Axell and I and that is like a weight taken off me.

Chapter 16

Axell

I woke up early this morning feeling refreshed and well rested for the first time in weeks. I think talking to Sadie was a good idea. I hadn’t been sure when I first saw her name and picture on my screen, but missing her was wearing me down. I had yet to listen to her voicemails or read the emails and texts but in a last-minute decision I had answered the call. Her voice poured over me like a warm blanket. I knew in that moment that we’d figure out a way to work this out.

Sadie was a vital part to my life and I wasn’t willing to let her go so I had to figure out a way to move on. I had walked around the house for the past week trying to figure out what to do. I always stopped in the extra bedroom. Then a couple of days ago it hit me. That could be Drake’s room. That epiphany was short lived because another thought followed. What if Sadie didn’t come back? I wasn’t her first priority anymore and I shouldn’t be. Her son should come first, but did that mean she would stay in South Carolina? Would she uproot Drake and come back here? There were so many questions.

I didn’t get much sleep that night. My mind wondered between what Sadie would do now and what I should do? Should I pack up after Jovi graduated and move to South Carolina to be with Sadie? I mean, I could do that. Jovi was joining the Marines. Bowie, Jagger, and Ace were all married now and could take care of themselves. I also knew they’d take care of the businesses for me considering they did own part of them as well. Once Jovi graduated, I didn’t have to stay in L.A., so if Sadie didn’t want to come back, we could still make it work. It’d be a big change for me since I’d never lived anywhere but L.A. Hell,I had never even considered living anywhere but L.A. but this place couldn’t be home without Sadie. Actually, no place could be home without her which also meant that any place could be home with her. As long as she was there, I could manage. I’d figure out the rest.

Maybe, that’s why I answered the phone last night. I had finally figured out our biggest hurdle. However, hearing her voice reminded me of the pain I felt when she told me about her past. Suddenly, my solutions didn’t seem so easy. I knew we’d get through this, but it was obviously going to take some more time. Then my question had slipped out and I could tell by the tone of her voice that she thought my question was ridiculous. Oddly, enough I found that even more reassuring.

Although, I felt we were finally on the right path and moving forward again I felt horrible about Sadie having to be in South Carolina dealing with her mother’s declining health by herself. I knew she had Drake, but he was still a kid and she had mentioned that their relationship was still awkward. I really felt like she could use someone there to help her through this. Sadie was strong, I had always thought so but after hearing about her past she was even stronger than I gave her credit for. I was more than willing to go down there for a week or two to be with her, but I didn’t want to rush us and mess things up.

I made my way to the kitchen to fix breakfast for Jovi and I. I had been slacking in Sadie’s absence. Jovi wasn’t going to know what to do when he got up and had something other than toaster waffles. As I’m cooking it dawns on me, Seth. Seth could go out and help Sadie. I know that he wasn’t close to his mother, but he loved Sadie.

Jovi appeared in the kitchen doorway and the look of disbelief gave me a good laugh. We ate breakfast then he left for school. I decided to stop by the gym and squeeze in a work out. My muscles were starting to get stiff from not being usedas much but first I was going to make a stop at the beach to see Seth.

As I pull up to the beach, I spot Seth’s truck easily enough. I get out and make my way down to the sand to wait for him. I watch as he takes on wave after wave. He really was good enough to go pro if he wanted to. It’s kind of a shame he isn’t. I tried to surf a few times but it’s a lot harder than I thought it would be. I did okay but not well enough for me to keep trying. Nope, I was a James boy through and through and we did better on dry land, under the hood of a car.

Seth finally paddles into shore as he leaves the water, he notices me. He seems a little shocked to see me to be honest. He makes his way over to me. “Hey man, how are you?” he asks.

“I’m good and you? You did great out there,” I tell him motioning back towards the water.

“Thanks man. So, what brings you my way?” Seth asks.

I scratch at the stubble of my jaw. “Well, I talked to Sadie last night and she just seems super stressed. I was considering going out there, but we are just now figuring out how to move forward. I don’t want to rush us into something and make our situation worse,” I explain.

Seth dries his hair with a towel. “I’m glad you guys are talking and trying to figure out everything. I’m really glad that she finally told you. You don’t know how badly it was weighing on her.”

“That’s another story that we may not want to discuss.”

Seth raises his eyebrows in question. “Well, now we have to talk about this. Let’s go grab some breakfast.”

“I already ate but I’ll go with you. Maybe, you can give me a new perspective.” I hop in my car and follow Seth out of the parking lot towards his pick of places to eat.

“You’re missing out,” Seth tells me as he orders. Once we sit down at a table, he levels me with a stare. “Look, Sadie wouldhave told you sooner if she would have figured out a way. The guilt and regret weighed down on her.”

I rub my hands over my face. “Seth, I’m not saying it didn’t bother her, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about it. She lied to me for years. I was supposed to be the one person that she could rely on, that she could tell me anything, but she obviously didn’t feel like she could, and I don’t know how I feel about that.”

Seth shakes his head. “I don’t think you realize how bad off she was, Axell.”

“What do you mean?” I ask

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