Page 31 of Need for Speed

I giggle a little, mostly out of nerves. “That’s good. How’s Ace and Kynlee?” Axell makes a gagging noise which makes me laugh. “That bad?” I ask.

“Are you kidding me? They’re worse. I’ve never seen two people be so full of PDA in my life.” Axell exclaims.

I laugh. “Well, good! They deserve it.”

“Oh no, don’t encourage it,” Axell says sounding exasperating, but then he chuckles, and I know he’s just kidding. “How’s your mom?”

My mood quickly sombers. “More or less how I expected,” I whisper into the phone.

I hear Axell sigh. “Talk to me.”

“I knew coming here what her diagnosis was, but even with that I wasn’t prepared. I think in some way I just kept telling myself she’d be okay but then I got here, and I couldn’t lie to myself anymore. Seeing her made it all sink in. Just since I’ve been here her health has declined. She had a homecare nurse that came in twice a day, but we had a doctor’s appointment today and now she’s been moved over to Hospice. She sleeps most of the time. I know what’s coming, yet I’m still not prepared for it,” I confess to him. I wouldn’t tell anyone else this but for some reason I always open up to him.

“I’m so sorry Sadie,” Axell tells me. “I know this isn’t easy on you despite the complicated relationship the two of you had. Unfortunately, nothing will prepare you for what’s coming.”

“Yeah,” I mumble into the phone as I reach up to wipe the tears that have silently escaped from my eyes. I didn’t even realize that I was crying.

“Baby, don’t cry.” I know that Axell calling me baby is just out of habit, but I can’t help but feel like there’s hope still. “How’s Drake?”

“Do you want to talk about this?” I ask.

Axell takes a moment before answering. “Drake is your son which makes him mine too. If we’re going to move forward, then we’re going to have to talk about this. It doesn’t matter how hard or awkward it is.”

His words make my heart melt. I always knew he’d accept Drake but hearing him say it just makes me love him so much more. “Is there a chance for us to move forward, Axell?”

“I’m trying to figure out how. I don’t want to lose you, Sadie. I do love you.”

I’m trying to keep from crying again. “I love you too. I really do. I’ve been trying to keep in touch.”

“I know you have. I just wasn’t ready. I just decided to answer tonight because…well, hell I don’t know. I just needed to hear your voice,” he confesses.

We’ll get past this I think to myself. “I’m glad you did. I didn’t realize how badly I needed to hear your voice until you answered.”

“So, are you going to answer my question?” he asks with a chuckle.

“Drake is great. He’s a great kid. A lot like Jovi but of course things between us are awkward. I knew they would be but it’s harder than I thought it would be,” I tell him.

“I can only imagine but he’ll come around eventually. Are you coming back?” Axell asks and his tone catches me off guard. He almost sounds worried.

“Yes, of course, why would you ask that?”

He releases what sounds like a breath of relief. “Because you have a son and his life is there. I just thought maybe you’d want to stay there, I don’t know.”

“No, this isn’t my home. I know this is all Drake knows but I think he’ll be okay in L.A. He’ll learn to adjust. My life is there, and I have to come back.”

“Good, I was thinking we could take the extra room and make it his,” Axell tells me.

Tears do escape from hearing him say that. We’ve been at such a loss that I was wondering if we’d ever get here. “Thank you.”

“For what?” he asks.

“For being you. You always think about somebody else.”

“You know I’d do anything for you,” he says quietly.

I sigh. “I know. I need to talk to Drake soon.”

“That’s probably a good idea.”

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