Page 28 of Need for Speed

Chapter 13

Sadie

I try to read. I try to sleep. I try to figure out my life through the entire plane ride. I get nowhere. I can’t read because I can’t concentrate, and my eyes will barely stay open. I can’t sleep because my mind won’t shut up. I can’t figure out my life…well, because it’s in too big of a mess for me right now. I look out the window and I try to figure out what Axell would be doing right now. If I know him, he’s probably at the shop, under a car, working the day away.

I’m not sure what to expect when I land. I know what Drake looks like, the male version of me in a lot of ways. He got Josh’s height and green eyes, but the rest is me. My mom has been great about keeping me up to date with him. She sends me pictures from all his games and school report cards. He’s a really great writer. She’s sent me some of his book reports and I’m really impressed. I know he just got his license a few months ago and that he works at a local grocery store. I know he hasn’t given my mom a day of trouble, unlike me.

I know all of this about him without really knowing him. It hurts but it is what it is. I’ve missed out on his life, but he wouldn’t have had this life if I had been there. Everything would have been different. I wasn’t in the right state of mind at the time to raise him. By the time I got out of college my mother was attached and refused to let me have my rights back. I could have taken her to court, but who wants to take their mother to court? I didn’t want to draw out this process and to be honest, I didn’t know if uprooting his life was worth it. I had come back and see his room. I saw his school and I watched him from a far with mymother at my side. He loved his life and it seemed selfish and unfair to pull that from him at the time. Now, we have no choice.

Aynor, South Carolina had never been my home. It was just a place I stopped at along the way. Los Angeles was my home. No, strike that, home was wherever Axell was. He was my home or at least he had been. My stomach is doing flip flops from the nerves coursing through me. My palms are sweaty, and I feel like I might vomit. Our landing isn’t the softest which doesn’t help my stomach. As I exit the plane, I wipe my palms on the thighs of my jeans.

Drake is easy to spot in the crowd. He’s tall and lean with spiky strawberry blonde hair. I can see the green from his eyes from here. He’s holding a handful of flowers. As I approach, he gives me an unsure smile and extends the flowers. “Thank you, Drake.” He nods and takes my carry-on. We make our way to baggage claim. When my bag comes into view, he grabs that too. He’s so fast I don’t even get to move before he’s heading for the door.

We make our way to his red Ford Focus. He loads my luggage and we get in the car. I forgot how different the humidity feels here. My clothes are already sticking to me. Mentally, I groan. As we pull onto the highway that will lead us back to Aynor, I ask Drake, “How is she today?”

He nods his head stiffly. “She’s okay. She’s having a better day today.,” his voice is so deep it catches me off guard at first. “How was your flight?”

“It was okay. I’ve never been a fan of flying but it was better than I expected,” I reply.

Silence falls between us again. Drake clears his voice. “Do you mind if I turn on some music?”

“Not at all,” I tell him. Admittedly, I’m curious about his choice in music. I don’t figure he’ll love the 80s hair bands that I’m accustomed to.Fall Out Boycomes blaring over the speakersand he moves quickly to turn it down. He mumbles an apology, but I shake it off. “I have to have music when I’m driving plus this is a good choice.”

He gives me a questioning look before asking, “You knowFall Out Boy?”

I laugh. “Yes, I do. I like most of their songs actually.”

“That’s cool. I usually listen to 80s rock or 90s grunge, but I like them andPanic! At the Disco,” he comments.

Goosebumps form over my skin, not from the temperature, but what are the odds that Drake would like 80s rock? Too soon we are driving through the small town of Aynor heading toward the house that my mom and Dale bought. It’s just outside the town itself and sits on about an acre. It’s beautiful, everything is just starting to bloom with the freshness of spring. My mom’s house has no fence, so the land is just marked off by the trees that line the property. The house itself is a one-story ranch style. The right side of the house is old fashioned red brick while the front and left side are white. There is a wraparound porch also done in red brick. Beautiful dark wood shutters frame every window and the dark wood and glass front door leave the house feeling classic. There is a small white shed off to the side. The tree in the front yard still has the tire swing hanging from it. I remember spending hours on that swing when we first moved here. It’s where I went to contemplate my life and where it was going. As we make our way up the circle drive, I notice the wooden rocking chairs, four total, sitting on the other side of the door.

As we get out of the car, I look up to see the sun beaming down. It’s quiet out here. When I first moved to L.A. I never thought I’d get used to the noise. Even in North Hills, which isn’t in the heart of the city, can be noisy from time to time but out here it’s different. It’s quiet for miles. I soak it in for a minute, but it won’t be too long until that starts to drive me crazy. I’llmiss the noise of L.A. in no time. It’s funny the things we get accustomed to that you never expected.

I try to take my carry on from Drake, but he refuses. I follow behind him, taking the two steps up to the porch. He opens the door and motions for me to enter. I stop to observe my mother’s garden on the side of the house. Even if I didn’t know she was sick already this would be a sign that she was. The garden is dead. Drake follows my gaze. “I water it, but I don’t have a knack for keeping them alive. I tried at first but now I just make sure to keep the weeds out.” I pat his arm as I walk past him and into the house.

The house smells musty and stale. I can hear the oxygen machine from here as well as the sound of the daily soap operas my mother has always loved so much. The house is impeccably clean which shocks me. I know my mother can’t clean anymore which means Drake must be keeping up with it. Almost everything is the same. The house is decorated in cream and olive greens. Drake moves around me then looks back over his shoulder. “She’s probably in the den,” he tells me. “I’ll put your luggage in your room then I have to head to work. Will you need anything else?” he asks.

I shake my head. “No, I’m good, thank you and thank you for picking me up from the airport. I appreciate it.” He nods then disappears down the hallway. I make my way to the den slowly, stopping to observe all of the photos hanging on the walls in the hallway. For the most part I’ve seen them but there are some of Drake I’ve never seen, and I feel the need to stop and look at each and every one of them. “Sadie?” I hear my mother call from down the hallway. Her voice still has the same sing song tone as always. I make my way to the den. The large open windows and French doors have filled the area with light. My mother is sitting in a recliner with the TV blaring. She smiles when she sees me. “Come give your mother a hug,” she tells me while motioning forher to come toward her. I’m careful not to catch her oxygen cord as I make my way.

She stands up, wobbly at first before she manages and pulls me into her arms. She’s so frail and I hate that but it’s funny how some things never change. She still smells like apple cinnamon as I breathe her in deeply. She pats the chair next to hers. “Have a seat. How was your flight?” she asks.

“It’s was fine. I’m sorry I didn’t get here sooner, mama,” I tell her as regret fills me.

She waves my comment off. “Don’t be ridiculous Sadie. You have a life. You were busy with work and Axell. I understand. Besides Drake and I managed.”

“I can see that. The house and yard look amazing.”

She nods her head in approval. “They do, don’t they? Drake is a good boy.”

“Thanks to you,” I tell her.

She sighs. “If only my garden didn’t look like he sprayed weed killer on it.”

I laugh. “I’ll fix that for you. I have a garden of my own back home.” We sit around and catch up. I make us a snack when my mother tells me she’s hungry and we continue watching soap operas. The home health care nurse stops by later on and I talk with her. My mother’s condition is much like I expected, but actually seeing it and hearing it from a professional makes it sink in differently. The nurse is scheduled to stay for a couple of hours. She helps her do exercises to avoid blood clots in her legs and makes sure she gets her daily nap. I decide to make a quick run to the store and pick up some groceries and stuff for the garden since the nurse is here.

Once I’ve found the keys to my mother’s car I head outside. I slide behind the wheel and take a minute to text Axell, Jovi, Seth, and Lyndsay to let them all know I made it. Seth texts back almost immediately as well as Jovi. Lyndsay is probably at workand I didn’t really expect an answer back from Axell, but it stings all the same.

Later that evening I make dinner for us since Drake will be home soon. My mom is on a special diet, so I fix some baked chicken breasts and steamed vegetables. Drake comes in and takes a seat at the table. Sweet tea is a staple in this part of the country so it’s no surprise to me when he reaches out and grabs the glass, downing half of it before coming up for air. We eat our dinner and I listen to my mom and Drake carry on a conversation. I like hearing about his day.

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