Page 58 of Cosmic Captain

If he stayed. Vince wanted a job if he stayed.

The “if” was still there, but the mere contemplation of him thinking about staying made my soul pound. I wanted that. I wanted him to stay here. With me. Where he belonged.

Vince had crawled into my affections with ease, and I feared the marks he’d left on my soul would never fade.

But it was his decision to remain or not, and I wasn’t going to try and force his hand or influence his choice. Even if Vince wanted to stay in the end, it didn’t mean he would choose or even desire to be with me in a romantic sense.

Knowing my focus was shattered and was something I couldn’t recover, I turned toward Vince. “What do you want to do?”

He lifted and lowered his shoulders, face against my arm. I was grateful, for once, that my uniform had sleeves, unlike my casual clothes. The feel of his warm breath and cool skin on my scales would be too much for me to withstand.

“Do you want to explore the station more, or we can go back to the ship to nap?” I asked.

Vince’s thoughts were slow and almost blank, though the numbness and void that often plagued him were absent. It felt as if he was going to fall asleep against me at any moment. We could return to his quarters or mine and nap. He’d never stayed in my quarters for more than a passing moment, and I liked the idea of him sleeping in my bed, leaving his scent on my sheets.

Vince perked up slightly at the thought of a nap as the image of us tangled on his bed raced through his thoughts. I suppressed a groan. I wanted that—we hadn’t slept next to each other yet—but I would let Vince decide.

A gray cat raced across his thoughts, followed by a shot of longing and the image of us curled up together with one. My head cocked. He wanted a cat. Seth and Kalvoxrencol both enjoyed having Lucy, and Serlotminden and Bartholomew both enjoyed Pookie. Perhaps humans required a pet on some level. They did worship cats—their small house gods.

If Vince desired something, then he should have it. I wouldn’t allow him to want for anything.

“I can buy you one,” I said. Clothes. He needed clothes. Or jewelry. I didn’t wear any, but Vince would look lovely with jewelry. The image of him with long gold earrings and fine necklaces on his delicate throat sent a shiver of lust down my spine. Whatever he wanted or needed was his, and I was more than happy to provide it.

Finances weren’t an issue. I received a good pay from my position as a captain in the navy, and I got an allowance from the crown—not to mention my estate on Tamkolvanloknol was profitable. My Vince could have whatever he wished.

“What?” he asked, chin on my arm, eyes heavy.

“A cat.”

He chuckled, pushing his forehead into my arm. “You are sweet, but no.”

“Why? You want one.”

“I do,” Vince said, “but they are a lifelong commitment that I can’t make right now. It wouldn’t be fair.”

Reality crashed back onto me with a sharp blade to my soul. Vince was leaving. I was allowing my emotions to get the better of me, but it was hard to contain myself where he was concerned.

“Seth would keep the cat,” I reasoned, “or Monqilcolnen, or me if—when you leave.”

“Hmm,” he replied, eyes closing.

I studied the gentle curve of his cheek and the slope of his nose and the shape of his eyes. He was lovely. But Vince was more than his beautiful face and entrancing form. His strength to survive, his humor, his strong soul, his burning confidence, and his acceptance of my gift were all intoxicating.

His words from some days ago returned to my thoughts:“I don’t want your gift. I want you, Don.”

Pleasure washed through me as I stared at him. How was I going to survive him leaving? I didn’t think I was.

I buried the thought with aggressive efficiency. That thought would lead to more dangerous ones with an end result I couldn’t handle.

Unable to stop myself, I nuzzled his forehead with my own, scent marking him. I wanted others to smell me on him and the opposite. I pulled back, feeling guilty. Vince had asked me not to touch him in public, but I was having a harder and harder time keeping away from him. Every cell in my body demanded that I press close to Vince and never leave his side.

Vince grinned at me, not upset in the slightest about my attentions. “I want to walk around with you, then nap.”

“Anything you desire.”

His eyes opened. “What doyouwant? This is not about me. It’s about us.”

Us. I liked that far more than I should. I leaned closer to him, my hair falling around his face, giving us an illusion of privacy on the busy station. “I want to make you happy, buy you things, lots of things, and then take a nap with you.”

---