Page 91 of Gideon's Gratitude

I shook my head.

“She wrote a book about the stages of grief. Now, it’s been simplified down to five—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally, acceptance.”

“No one died, Kennedy. I’m not grieving.” I felt a little silly pointing this out. But there hadn’t been a death. Except the death of— “Oh, you mean my marriage?”

Slowly, she nodded. “Does that list resonate with you?"

I considered. “Denial was when I thought, for a hot minute, the marriage might be saved. Leo made it clear that was never going to happen and yeah, I was fucking angry—” I winced. “Sorry.”

She waved me off.

“Bargaining? Between me and Leo? No. He wouldn’t even speak to me. And we didn’t really negotiate during the divorce, which I really regret. Archer says…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. Couldn’t put into words my hopes—fanciful as they were.

Kennedy cocked her head.

I pressed on. “We can agree I’ve been depressed. Basically for two years. I cycled back to anger for a while, but that was with thisunknown rich dude from Vancouver whose construction was making my migraines worse. The disruption really wasn’t all that bad—” I considered. “—or I’m more understanding now I’ve met Archer and recognize the oasis he’s trying to create for himself. I’ve talked to him a lot over the past ten days. Like more than anyone else since the end of my marriage. And so do I have feelings for him because of who he is or because of who he represents?”

“What do you mean?”

“Basically, he’s the first gay guy…well, bisexual guy…who has entered my sphere since Leo and I got divorced. Would I have feelings for any guy like that who turned up in a storm needing help, or is Archer himself the reason my stomach does flip-flops when I hear from him? That my chest expands with happiness when he texts. That my world gets a little brighter when he calls. Am I just grateful to him, or is it more?”

“Do you want it to be more?”

Well it sort of is, but I don’t think I’m going to share that with you. “You said the final stage of grief is acceptance, right?” I was damn proud of myself for remembering all five.

She nodded. “It’s simplistic but, in some cases, it really works.”

“Okay…so you’d say I need to accept the end of my marriage and all the hopes and dreams before I do anything with Archer, right?”

She shook her head. “You can be grieving and coming to care for someone at the same time. Life isn’t always linear. And something might happen with Leo that puts you right back to anger. Or depression might come back. When you reach acceptance, though, those things are less likely to have a profound impact. You learn to roll with the punches, I’d say.”

“I want to roll with the punches.”

“Okay, let’s figure out how to make that work.”

I relaxed a bit. “Yeah, okay.”

Chapter Sixteen

Archer

Rainbow Dixon was positively charming.

First, she offered to give me a tour of the property. She’d given my hiking boots the thumbs-up of approval, and we’d made our way out to the stables.

Fallon, Briar, Sugar, and Sienna were the four retired show horses who worked as therapy animals.

I understood the concept of a therapy dog—Tiffany was keeping us company since Lucky was with Kennedy and Gideon—and apparently the horses were much the same.

Patients spent time tending the horses and learning to trust them. The hope was that, eventually, they would come to trust their therapist. At the moment, there were five counselors.

I was petting Briar when a handsome guy poked his head in.

He waved at Rainbow. “Heading out. Stanley and I are taking the kids to White Spot tonight. Angus received a perfect score on his French test.”

“Oh, that’s great. Tell him that I’m proud of him.” Rainbow beamed.

The man noticed me and advanced. “Justin Bridges-Powers.”

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