Page 100 of Gideon's Gratitude

He circled my entrance before slowly sliding a finger in.

That feeling of familiarity along with the pervasiveness of something new hit me. Yes, Leo and I had done this hundreds of times. But it never felt like this. New and exciting. My first time had been fumbling and quick and not overly satisfying.

We’d improved.

I didn’t have those same nervous jitters with Archer. With him, the feeling was entirely different. Like we were two people who knew what they were doing, only were rediscovering how things worked all over again.

For me, that feeling settled. I’d had sex with Leo after the accident, but I’d never felt right. My body hadn’t been ready.

Tonight, it was.

And for Archer? Almost twenty years since he’d had gay sex. That was a hell of a long time.

He added a second finger.

I held his gaze and smiled.

He angled his hand in just such a way, and… His finger brushed my prostate.

A shiver ran up and down my spine. Heat pooled in my belly as I tried to steady my breath.

Still, he held my gaze. Then he scissored his fingers—trying to open me up. Trying to prepare me to take him.

Having the man prepare me filled me with comfort and joy.

Finally, he withdrew his fingers.

I felt oddly empty—all the while knowing he’d be back.

When he hovered above me, I was ready. My legs opened instinctively, and he positioned himself at my entrance. He probed gently and then, once his head was in, he thrust inside.

My body settled. Some sensations were achingly familiar while others were entirely new. The man understood how to play me as if I were an instrument. How to draw out each note to hit the perfect chord. The perfect symphony. The perfect orgasm.

It caught me completely unaware. One moment I was gazing into his intense stare, the next, the climax ripped through me, toppling me over the edge in spectacular fashion. He thrust twice more, then held himself still. The intensity of his eyes drew me close, held me firm, and eased me back down to earth.

Instead of collapsing on me, he withdrew slowly, and pulled back onto his haunches.

I winced at the minor twinge, then I took stock. My back didn’t hurt, and I hadn’t triggered a migraine. I was sated and warm. Ensconced and safe.

He removed the condom. He knotted it and gently dropped it into the trashcan next to the nightside table. “Are you sleepy?”

“I’m always sleepy after a good orgasm.” I managed a lopsided grin. “And that was an amazing orgasm.”

A matching grin. “Yeah, that was pretty incredible.” He feathered my hair. “I’m going to turn off the light, and I’m going to hold you. And if you want to talk, that’s cool. If you want to sleep, I’m good with that as well.”

“What do you want?”

“To grab you and never let go.”

Wait…what?Those words sounded like a forever promise. But it was too soon. Too little time had passed. The man could do so much better than a washed-up and broken guy like me.

“Don’t even think about it.”

I stilled.

“I can see you doubting yourself, and I won’t have it. I want you. Only you. I haven’t been attracted to a man in about twenty years. I’ve found someone I want to be with. If you don’t feel the same way…well, we can discuss it. But if you’re thinking I’m just here for, I don’t know, sex, then think again.”

Appropriately chastened, I nodded. “I don’t have a lot of self-esteem left.”

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