I am actively frightened to read any and all pick-up lines you found online
Felix
Nonsense. I chose only the best ones.
Heads up, most of them are Lord of the Rings themed because I dreamed that I was Frodo last night and the music was stuck in my head all day
Also.
Me
Also…?
Felix
Sorry about yesterday. What I said about finding a guy online or whatever. I was in a weird mood. I think it will be great for you.
Me
It’s okay. I was being weird too.
Send me the pick-up lines. I’m ready.
FROM THE INBOX
From:Felix Caine
To:India Marigold
Subject:pick-up lines just for you, you’re welcome
Here are your pick-up lines, Sunshine, and don’t you feel blessed and lucky to have me in your life? I expect a thorough report on how well these work for you. I think number seven holds particular promise.
1) Hey, Baby, are you a camera? Because all I can do is smile when I see you.
2) Is your name Ariel? Because we were mermaid for each other.
3) Hey, Baby, don’t worry—my elf eyes only see you.
4) I’d like to take your hobbit to my Isengard. (Note: if you use this one, do not tell your brother you heard it from me) (Actually probably just don’t use this one and don’t tell me if you do)
5) The fires of Mount Doom aren’t nearly as hot as you.
6) Were you forged by Sauron? Because you’re precioussssss.
7) Your salted pork is particularly lovely.
8) What do you say we get together and light the Beacons of Gondor?
9) I’m about to rescue you from Lonely Mountain.
10) Speak, friend, and enter…your number into my phone.
FELIX
It has beentwo days since I went on that motorcycle ride with India. Two days since I last saw her.
And I can still feel her in my arms.