Dancing Queen Jules

Okay that’s okay!!! How do you feel??

Me

Warm

And panicky

And kind of hungry?

BUT WHAT DO I SAY TO FELIX??? HE’S DRIVING ME HOME

Aurora Borealis

You could do what I always do

Dancing Queen Jules

What, ignore your feelings until they grow and then explode??? No thank you. We can do better than that.

Indy, just tell him you don’t feel good and you need to go home!

Me

What if he asks about what I said?

Aurora Borealis

Then tell him to mind his own business.

Dancing Queen Jules

Tell him you don’t want to talk about it right now and you’re sorry but could he please just take you home with minimal discussion!!!

Me

Do you guys want to break out the chips and cheese when I get home? I need to drown myself in queso

Aurora Borealis

Obviously.

Dancing Queen Jules

Yes!!!

Here’s the thing about having sisters: there is a part of you that will always be a teenager. Because when you’re with your sisters or talking to them, they’ll always be teenagers too. That’s when the bonds of sisterhood solidify. Your youth, your childhood, your teenage years. No matter how old I get—although granted, I’m not that old—when I’m with Aurora and Jules, I revert to my teenage self.

I’m not too upset about it at the moment, because my teenage self doesn’t have to deal with mortifying bookshop confessions.

“All right,” I say under my breath as I pace back and forth on the sidewalk in front of the Pretty Page. “This is fine. It’s no big deal. Hold your head high, don’t act embarrassed, and everything will be okay.”

Because sometimes you have to fake it until you make it. And sometimes the only way to make itisto fake it. So I will shrug this interaction off. I will pretend I am not horrified at my earlier admission. Then I will go home and scream into my pillow, after which I will grab a bag of chips and a jar of queso with my sisters and eat my feelings, whatever they are.

The thing is…I really don’t know what I’m feeling. Yes, I’m embarrassed. But I’m also weirdly jittery, and inexplicably warm.

I do not like it. Not one bit.