Page 53 of Say Yes to the Hot Mess

“But there’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Dexy,” Maya says, and I grit my teeth together even as I’m making myself smile adoringly down at her. She pats my chest. “They know we’re in love. And there’s nothing shameful about smooching your love.”

And with that, she stretches up and plants a kiss right on my cheek.

“Dexter, dear,” my mother says, her voice slightly strangled. “Why don’t you tell us how you two met?”

Nancy Anthony does not approve of PDA.

I reach under the table and give Maya’s thigh a good, hard squeeze, and she jerks away laughing, only barely managing to disguise it as a cough. A second later, though, she nudges my leg with her own. I nudge her back, and we go back and forth a few times before ceasing our under-table war when Nancy clears her throat expectantly.

“Maya is my neighbor,” I say. “She came into my office to discuss a few housing matters”—I see her shoot me a narrow-eyed look, and I try not to smile—“and we started getting to know each other. We were interested in each other from day one, but I finally made my move when I needed to find a date for the wedding.”

There. A simple answer, based in fact, and exactly what Maya and I agreed upon.

My mother nods, her lips pursed slightly. “And that was…how long ago?” she says. “Because you said on the phone, Dexter, that there wasn’t anyone in your life—”

“I lied,” I say smoothly. “I just hadn’t asked her out yet.”

“I see,” she says, looking back and forth between Maya and me. Maya smiles politely at her, linking her arm through mine as she does, and I have to hide my own smile in response.

“And my job is going well,” I say, mostly to stop my mother from asking any more questions. I give them a few fun details, stopping only when our food arrives, but my parents don’t like my work as much as I do. My mother is just nodding politely while my father mutters something under his breath about how I should have gone to law school. Val is leaning forward, however, listening seriously, nodding with every other word I say—she’s going all in, it seems. Maya, meanwhile, is paying me absolutely no attention, instead going to town on her quiche. That woman clearly loves her food, and I…find myself strangely attracted to that. Valencia only ever nibbled at salad when we went on dates.

My mother continues to make conversation, but after her initial questions about how we met, she doesn’t give Maya a scrap more attention. It’s as though she’s not even at the table. She’s not rude, and she doesn’t blatantly exclude her, but while she chats with me and with Val, she rarely addresses Maya.

I don’t like it. I don’t like it one bit.

On the other hand, flying under the radar is definitely the best way to handle this situation, because I don’t want Nancy prying too much and figuring out this relationship is fake. So I let it slide, simply resting one arm around Maya instead of bringing it up. This decision is helped along by the fact that Maya seems to be thoroughly enjoying her meal and doesn’t look at all upset at being left alone.

Over the next hour, we’re regaled with more than our fair share of stories that all seem to revolve around howwonderfulVal is, and howbeautiful, and howperfectshe and I would be together. Val never comes right out and says it, but she doesn’t need to—my mother is her one-woman hype team. Meanwhile Val is perfectly content to sit back and let her praises be sung, and the whole thing is so obnoxious that I’m tempted to leave in the middle of my lemon chicken.

“So, Val,” Maya says when we reach a blessed lull in the conversation. “What do you like to do for fun?”

The look Val gives her is polite, but her smile is completely fake. “For fun?” she repeats, tilting her head at Maya.

“Yes. Fun? Like…fun. Games or hobbies or whatever. Sports?” Maya shoots me a covert look that has me stifling a laugh, because I can just imagine what she’s thinking right now—and it’s something along the lines ofDo I really need to explain fun to this woman?

Val’s nose has wrinkled at the mention of sports, and she casts a quick look down her body at her nice, sensible clothing. “I’m not the athletic type,” she says with a little sniff. “And I’m very busy, you know. I’m on the board for several charities, and I’m involved in a lot of fundraising. That’s what I do for fun.”

“Right, okay,” Maya says under her breath. She doesn’t roll her eyes, but the sentiment is perfectly clear in her voice.

I think it’s about time to get out of here. We all seem to be at the edges of our patience, and I have no desire to make it worse.

“Well, Mother,” I say, removing the napkin from my lap and putting it on the table. “We’d best be going. Busy day ahead of us and all.”

My mother glances at her glitzy watch and then at my dad. “We need to get going too, I suppose,” she says with a sigh. “Hanniford, we have to pick up some more flowers.” She looks back to me. “The rehearsal is in the event room, this evening at five. After that is the dinner.” Her eyes glint then, a calculated look entering them as she goes on. “Maybe you and Valencia could catch up until then?” She tries for an innocent tone, but it fails. “And you too, Maya, dear, of course,” she adds belatedly.

“I’d love to,” I say, smiling tightly, “but I think Maya and I are going to do some exploring. Maybe another time.”

“Sure,” Val says, her voice faltering, and she and my mother exchange glances. “That’s fine.”

The conversation after this is a bit more stilted as we wait for the check, and it’s a relief when I finally excuse myself and Maya. I hold her hand tightly in my own as we leave the restaurant, partly because I’m positive my mother and Val are still watching, but also because that was rough,and I could use the support.

“Well,” I say when we’re safely out of earshot. “That went about like I expected it to.”

“Did it?” Maya says, looking at me with surprise. “You expected your ex-girlfriend to be there?”

“Not at brunch, no,” I admit, “but I knew she was going to be at the wedding. My mother wants us to get back together.”

“I could tell,” Maya says dryly. Her heels click over the dark wood of the lobby floor as we walk. “The fawning, the looks, the ever-so-innocent suggestion that you two hang out—your mother is a big fan of Valencia Devlin. Why did she turn our hotel bedroom into a love nest if she wants you with Valencia?”

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