Page 100 of Say Yes to the Hot Mess

“Thank you,” I say with relief. I pat him on the shoulder before heading off to bed myself, formulating my plan.

* * *

I’ma little surprised to see that one of Sam’s two bridesmaids is a very, very old woman.

“Stand up straight, boy,” she barks at Carter as he walks past, a bowtie draped around his neck as he hunts for who-knows-what last-minute detail. I expected him to be off relaxing somewhere, but he’s not; this man is giddy with energy.

Carter glares at the old woman, but he does listen to her, standing up straighter before he resumes his running around.

“That’s Winifred,” Maya whispers to me over her shoulder as I do up her zipper. “She’s Sam’s landlady.”

“Why is Sam’s landlady one of her bridesmaids?” I say, tapping her on the shoulder when the zipper is done.

“Because they’re friends,” Maya says with a shrug as she turns to face me. “And I think she sort of helped get Carter and Sam together.”

“Huh,” I say, looking the woman over. She looks sort of grumpy. “All right, then.”

“Thanks,” Maya says as she tugs on her dress, making sure everything is in place. As a man who is very attracted to her, I can promise that she looks gorgeous. I don’t fully understand the concept of why some colors look good on some people and bad on others, but red is great on her.

“I’m always happy to zip your zippers,” I say with a grin, and she laughs, rolling her eyes and giving me a quick peck on the cheek before rushing off—to find Sam, I assume.

I don’t know. I haven’t attended a ton of weddings in my time.

When I get out of the back rooms and to the room where Sam and Carter are going to be married, my jaw drops. Maya and I came in the side entrance so that we could go straight to the dressing and preparation rooms, so I haven’t seen the wedding hall yet, and for a second I think there must be some mistake. But then I see an engagement photo that’s unmistakably of the two of them, and I know this is the place. The rows and rows of slowly filling chairs is the rest of the proof.

Sam and Carter are getting married in the ugliest room I’ve ever seen.

Why is the carpet orange? Why is there wood paneling on the walls? It’s like the designers took all the worst aspects of the sixties and dumped them in one large event hall.

I find Frank and Archer in the back of the room, where I said I’d meet them so that Frank can pass Archer off to me. Before I can even ask, he’s answering my unspoken questions.

“Apparently this was a place they looked at when they were looking for venues for Maya,” he says, bouncing Archer up and down on his hip. He looks around, his brow furrowed. “Real ugly, but they insisted. Laughed the whole time they were explaining.”

I shake my head, smiling a little before taking Archer and letting Frank go back to help Carter.

Venue aside, the wedding goes off without a hitch. The only hiccup comes when Archer decides that out is better than in and lets out an honest-to-goodness foghorn of a fart, timed so perfectly—or so horribly—that the entire room turns to look at us. There’s a tense silence for a second before Carter and Sam burst out in laughter, followed by a smattering of chuckles from the audience. Maya’s face is nearly as red as her dress, but I would have to be blind to miss the obvious adoration in her eyes as well. She’s an incredible mother, and it’s one of the things I love most about her.

And I love alotof things about her.

Her strength. Her sense of wonder. Her tenacity. Her wit. Her insatiable need to keep learning, to keep progressing and moving forward.

Her lips. Her eyes. Her smile that hits me square in the chest.

Yep—I love that woman.

And that love somehow just keeps growing. It grows as I watch Carter and Sam, officially husband and wife, share an iffy-for-public-consumption kiss. It grows when I imagine kissing Maya the same way. It grows throughout the rest of the afternoon and into the evening, when everyone moves out of the sixties room and into some sort of Aladdin-looking hall, decked out as a reception area with tables and lights.

And I can’t wait. I don’t want to wait.

With a meaningful look at Frank, I give Archer a quick kiss on top of his fuzzy head before passing him into Frank’s arms. Then I’m crossing the room to where Maya is standing with Sam and Carter in the reception line. I wonder briefly where Winifred is, but it occurs to me that she’s probably too old to stand around for a long time. Maya looks tired but happy, and I notice that despite engaging with the guests, her attention is always partly on Archer.

I decide to get in line, waiting my turn to congratulate the happy couple. It takes a while, but when I finally get to Maya, I pull her in for a quick kiss.

“Congratulations,” I say to Sam and Carter, smiling at them as Maya’s arms wrap around my middle and her head comes to rest on my chest. Then I look down at her. “Can I steal you away for a minute? Is that okay?” I add to Carter and Sam.

“Take her,” Sam says, grinning.

“We don’t need her,” Carter adds.

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