Page 157 of The Crown of Nyx

“You really know how to push someone away. Must be your superpower, Hawk,” she replied, voice stiff. “But no. That wasn’t exactly why I was coming here to talk to you.” She spared a glance over her shoulder at the others, fully aware that our conversation was being listened to. I doubted Grey or Beckham could keep their noses out of her business, even if they tried.

Ivy huffed, walking around me without another word. She didn’t even need to tell me to follow her; I did so like a pathetic, lovesick fool. I would have never considered myself a slave to my emotions, bound by my heart and led by love.

And yet here I was, following her deeper into the creepy forest, without a word or a fight.

I might not have accepted the bond, might not be willing to claim her, but I sure as hell acted just like the rest of them.

Even the new fucker couldn’t help but fall into her orbit. Had probably done so the moment he laid eyes on her. And no one would blame him. Hell, if it were him being led into the forest now, I had a feeling he would accept the bond without any fuss or further explanation.

That made the jealousy worse, and it was yet another emotion I had no right to.

Ivy came to a stop and turned on me, though she wouldn’t meet my eye. “Look, I know you don’t want the bond, even though the others think you should just suck it up and accept it.” Her eyes flickered to mind briefly as she gritted her teeth. “But I won’t force you. I don’twantto be with you, just as much as you don’t want to be with me. I’m accepting that.”

Her words should have brought me some relief. Should have made me feel lighter.

And yet I only felt a pit open up within me. “Ivy?—”

She held up a hand, stopping me. “No, let me finish,” she murmured, the hard facade cracking. “I don’t know why you don’t want the bond. If it’s a problem you have with bonds, or if it’s a problem you have withme. But I am done fighting. I am done hoping that you might change your mind. Done wishing things could be different. But I really,reallyhate feeling like I’ve done something wrong. I know I haven’t. As much as I wish we could start over, that maybe we could at least be friends, I know that isn’t possible. I know that if anything happens tomorrow, I won’t get the chance to say this.”

Her eyes found mine finally, and I took a step towards her. I wanted to pull her into my arms. I wanted to do all the comforting things I’d seen the others do with her.

I finally wanted to stop running, and yet I couldn’t.

There was still something within me resisting her. Resisting the idea of being bonded.

But not to her, I realised. If I could have her, I would take her now.

“Once we get out of here—if we do, that is—I’ll find a way to destroy our bond. To make it so we aren’t mates anymore, if that’s what you want,” she said, her voice stronger, despite the heartbreak playing in her eyes. “I don’t want you to be with me because you think that’s what you’re supposed to do, or because you feel obligated. I don’t want any of that, Hawk. I don’t want you by my side because you feel like you have to be. And I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with someone who doesn’t loveme.”

My mouth opened, but I couldn’t find the words. Couldn’t come up with any sort of witty response or deflection. Because she had every right to be feeling this way. To feel like she had to…reject me.

I swallowed hard. “That’s not what I want, Princess.”

Her face crumpled. “Then what do you want, Hawk? Because you don’t want me! You don’t want the bond! You keep changing your mind?—”

There were tears forming in her eyes, and something cracked within me.

It took me two steps to reach her, to take her in my arms. Ivy gasped when I pulled her into my chest, at the hand that went to her cheek. There was nothing I could say, because words had been my fucking enemy, so I did the only thing I thought I could do. Pink bloomed across her cheeks, different from the angry heat from before.

Surprise brightened her eyes as I dipped my head. Our noses brushed, and I felt the moment she stopped breathing. “Hawk…”

But I didn’t respond, instead claiming her sweet lips with mine. Ivy made a sound in the back of her throat. I waited for her to shove me off. To blast me with herlightning and run back to the others. She stiffened in my arms, hands pressed against my chest, against my racing heart—a heart that pounded for her.

Fuck, she felt amazing, tasted better than I ever could have imagined. And when she melted in my arms, matching my kiss with one of her own, I could have exploded right there.

Ivy pressed in closer, giving me the chance to feel every inch of her; the swell of her breasts beneath the tight-fitting gear. Her hands as they moved up to wind around my neck, bringing us closer, holding me like I might run away.

And fuck, I didn’t want to.

I wanted to enjoy every second of her. To taste every inch of her mouth, her body. To place my brand right over her heart and forget everything else. To ignore the way my body tried to resist her, even when it was possible that she could be mine. That it wasn’t too late.

My cock hardened in my pants, swelling with the thought of her. Of her body undressed and writhing beneath me. My mouth all over her, lapping at her pussy as she came over and over again on my tongue. As she took my cock not just inside her, but with her pretty little hands, between her soft fucking lips.

Fuck. I’d imagined what it would be like to kiss her, to finally feel her against me. And those dreams didn’t live up to reality.

I deepened the kiss despite the pressure building in my chest, and the small voice in the back of my head telling me to stop. To walk away. To not give in to her.

But I was lost to the feel of her, to the way my magic purred within me, reaching for that ever-present bond that demanded to be completed, the bond that so badly wanted to be claimed. I knew she felt it, too. Her magiclifted the hairs on my arms, prickling across my skin. It reached for mine. Felt my heartbeat skip for hers.

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