“Is he okay?Is he gonna be okay?”I blubber, which Luka rightfully ignores.He doesn’t look panicked, which I tell myself is a good sign.But he doesn’t look relieved either.
“Arseni,please.”I pat his face as if that’ll wake him up.With a few more compressions, water shoots from his mouth, his chest lifting off the ground, and he takes in a sharp gasp.
Luka falls backward, his arm shielding his eyes.The guttural sound he makes is filled with relief.
“Arseni,” I say, rolling him onto his side.
He looks me in the eyes and combs my hair with a dirty hand.“Are you okay?”
I smile but just let out a cry in response.
Luka gets back up and rifles through the first aid kit.Arseni’s eyes scan him, but he doesn’t look surprised.
“Luka saved you.”Arseni moves back to me, his eyes hooded.The memory he shared with me of the first time he met Luka pops into my mind, and I wonder how much déjà vu he must be feeling.
“You came for me,” I whisper, caressing his face while Luka applies pressure to his abdomen.
“I need to call an ambulance, okay?”I nod encouragingly though I must look like I’m answering for him.“I’ll be right back.”
“No.”He grips my hand when I turn.It isn’t as firm as it would normally be, but it’s strong enough that I feel my chest unwind.
“It isn’t safe.”He cringes against pain.His voice is gravelly like it’s hard to talk.“No one can know.”
I glance at Luka, but he isn’t looking at either of us.He’s intently attending to the wound.Or pretending to.I don’t know what he’s feeling, but he doesn’t look like he thinks he’s a hero.
What happened between them?
“Arseni, you coulddie.”
I watch for reason to come over his expression.For the seriousness of the situation to occur to him.But all he does it stroke my hair.
“I love you,” he whispers.
I don’t know if it’s a distraction.I don’t know if he’s telling me this just so I’ll accept whatever consequences come of this.
But he means it.Looking into his eyes, full of affection I’ve been yearning for my whole life, I know for certain that he means it.
“I love you too.”I roll my lips into my mouth, holding in a cry.
“Help will be here soon,” Luka interjects.
“What?”Arseni lifts up to look more pointedly at his friend.“No.No, Luka, she can’t be here.She’s…” Instead of finishing, he looks at me.“You have to hide.”
“Margot’s safe,” Luka says.“I promise.”
Arseni’s gaze moves back to him, his eyes squinting.I don’t know if he’s suspicious or confused.
I watch Luka’s serious eyes, the sound of a car horn approaching not breaking either man’s focus.
“You go down, I go down.”
Arseni’s eyes close at Luka’s words.He places a hand over his eyes while his face scrunches.It takes me a moment to realize he’s crying.
When he goes to sit up, Luka helps him and throws an arm around his back.As the two men hug, I watch with an emotional smile curling my lips.Perhaps it’s irrelevant by now, but a heavy feeling of…forgiveness…washes over me.Forgiveness for myself.
Because I know in an instant that I didn’t leave Arseni without a family way back when.That arrangement was never supposed to work out.
He was born an orphan, but he has a family.And now, I do too.