Page 61 of Arseni

My face has remained pretty much blank, but now it scrunches.I move my head to look at him, but of course, he’s pretending to be focused on cleaning my neck.I wonder how inflamed my skin will be before he moves lower.

“Are you fucking serious?”I ask.This makes him pause, but he doesn’t answer.Or he’s at least too slow.

“After everything you’ve done to me,thisis what you’re sorry for?Not having frillysoap?”

“No.”He shakes his head.

“Check the bedroom your psycho friend took me to.I sawplentyof girly products while I was being made to look like a whore.You could score me some perfume if you’re feeling generous.”

He leans back on his heels and lays the rag on the side of the tub.He looks off like he’s lost for words, but that isn’t good enough for me.I’ve spent so much time feeling overly sorry for him.Now I feel like an idiot.

“I should’ve shot you when I had the chance.”My voice quivers with what I tell myself is anger.

He nods.“I know.”

“I should’ve filed fucking harassment charges against you.”Water sloshes when I turn, not even sure if he follows what I’m saying.“I should’ve called the police when I busted you with pot.I should’ve sent you tojail.”

He nods again.“I know.”

“I waseasyon you.I… I waskindto you.”

“I know.”

“Don’t fucking tell me you know!”I screech, my voice reverberating off the bathroom walls.

He doesn't flinch.The bastard doesn’t even flinch.

I swipe up the rag and slap it against my knee, lifting my leg to wash the touch of the dead man off me.No surprise, it doesn’t work.

“I’m sure your toddler girlfriend appreciates you giving her a bath, but I happen to be a grown woman.I can wash myself.Go the fuck away.”I say it with such bite, such confidence that it hits me like a wind-knocking blow that I don’t actually want him to leave.And I’m afraid he will.

Arseni is… I don’t know what Arseni is, but he’s all I have.

“My toddler girlfriend?”

My jaw clenched, I turn my glare his way to finally,finallysee him looking at me.And the asshole looks annoyed.

“You areobsessedwith age.”He shakes his head and lays his forearms on the side of the tub.

I huff and roll my eyes but can feel my face heating.“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are.After everything you went through tonight, you’re still managing to be jealous of some girl younger than you.”

I’m certain my face is red as a tomato now.My lips are pinched as I turn away, but I’m only forcing myself to be angry.I’m really just ashamed.

“Listen to me, Margot,” he says, drawing me back to him with his hand on my cheek.His eyes are so serious, I want to stand up just so I’m taller than him.“Listen very fucking carefully so I can say this for the last time… I do not give ashitabout your age.”

I stay perfectly still, despite the urge to squirm.To fight back.To slap him just because I want to.Just because he deserves it.I don’t because I want these words, despite everything in me telling me they don’t matter.

“I do not give ashitwho you’ve fucked or how old they were when you fucked them.I don’t care that you were once my foster mother.I don’t care that you think fucking me is wrong.You are a woman, and I am a man.That’s it.Anything else is just filler.”

His words make my chest hard, like it’s frozen.When I speak, even the words passing through my mouth feel cold.“Except, itiswrong.You’ve been raping me.”

He rolls his eyes.“Okay.”

“Is that justfiller, Arseni?”

“I haven’t done anything you haven’t enjoyed.”

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