Page 49 of Arseni

My eyes closing, I click cancel and shove my phone back in my pocket.

18

MARGOT

When the basement door opens, I stare with hopeful anticipation.

Hard, even steps creek the floorboards until Arseni steps into the basement, his face a blank mask.

For days, I’ve avoided his eyes, always turned away when he’s come in.But now I peer into them with a plea for understanding that he hasn’t even asked for.He carries the newspaper under his arm and tosses it down when he reaches the bed.

“Was this his doing?”Arseni asks, his voice ice.

My gaze on him unrelenting, I nod.My mouth twists with the urge to cry, but I manage to speak a cracked word through it.“Yes.”

Arseni runs a thumb over his strong jaw.“Was this what he had on you?”

He doesn’t sound judgmental or scolding—as much as he should—nor does he sound intrigued like the other man.Still, the question makes me flinch.

“No.”I shake my head so many times, it’s pathetic.Like I’m hoping to remove all doubt.“No, I would never?—”

“So he planted them?”

I nod.

With a sigh, Arseni drops his hand and sits next to me on the mattress, his foot brushing the chain locking my raw ankle.“Are you surprised?”

I look down at my lap.“No… He told me he would do this.”

“Why?”

Again, I flinch.And again, it has nothing to do with Arseni’s tone.

My reflex is to lie and say that I don’t know.That the man is a maniac who has no rhyme or reason for his actions.But it’s a lie.After seven years, the weight of this secret has my head underwater.

Will he judge me?Will he…

No, he won’t.Arseni, of all people, will understand.And I need that right now more than anything.

I suck in a deep breath.“So that he could show the world who I am without having to come forward himself.”

I feel Arseni’s head turn to me, his eyes scrutinizing.My hands shake with fear of letting this lodge free.Even when the whole world hates me for a lie, it’s still terrifying to admit the truth.

“What?”Arseni asks, sounding genuinely confused.

I close my eyes and hug my knees.There aren’t any chemicals in this basement.I’m certain of it.For days, it’s smelled like mildew and death, and Arseni didn’t spontaneously bathe in Pine Sol.

But still, I smell the lemony scent of fear.It quickens my heartrate and threatens to paralyze me.I speak before my mouth can numb.

“When I was thirty, I met a boy who told me he was eighteen.I… I was attracted to him.At one point, I even thought I might be falling for him.But after a month passed of us … dating … he started acting crazy.He would call me during meetings then leave violent, raging voicemails when I didn’t answer.He begged me to quit my job so we could run away together, and when I broke things off with him, he threatened to kill me and then off himself just like…”

I clench my eyes shut and bite my tongue.

“Your parents,” Arseni mercifully finishes for me when I can’t.I nod.

“He was sixteen years old,” I whisper, my head lowered so I can’t see anything but the frills on my skirt and a curtain of hair.“I didn’t know.I swear, I didn’t know.”

I squeeze my arms around my knees while my stomach twists into a tight knot, though it isn’t due to Arseni’s judgement.He doesn’t care.Hecan’tcare.It wouldn’t even make sense for him to.

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